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21 Ways Fat People Can Go Fuck Themselves
January 1, 2013

The following rant is based on an article from the hippy-dippy bullshit site "LoveLiveGrow." It's a site where people with good intentions spend their time going way too goddamn far. Like me, only fucking gay. Oops, did I just offend gay people? Suck dicks, be happy, and shut the fuck up, faggots!

Anyway, there was this fun article introduced to me by Sniper Davis called 21 Things to Stop Saying Unless You Hate Fat People. Now, that doesn't sound so bad, right? I mean, who wants to hate on fat people? In almost a decade of running this site, it's rarely occurred to me to pick on fatties and, I mean, I fucking hate EVERYONE! But picking on fat people just seemed like a cheap shot.

Well, that's all changed now that the fucking hippies at LLG decided that we all need a mandate against hating on the fatsters and they decided to proclaim that even things such as doctors telling patients to lose weight for the benefit of their health is "hate" and "discrimination" against fat people. I'm sorry, but that's like if I tell my wife to please not walk around the ghetto wearing a "PLEASE RAPE ME" shirt, then you come and bitch at me for being sexist. You're a fucking moron and I'm here to spell it out for you.

So now, without further procrastination, here is the response to LLG's "21 things" list. A point-by-point response. Oh yay!

1. Stating a specific size, shape, or weight that’s less okay.

• Example: “Women who are a little bigger are more attractive, but 400 pounds? No.”
• Example: ”It’s okay to be plus-size as long as you don’t have fat rolls.”

Fat acceptance is for all fat people. If you draw a line – 400 lbs, 500 lbs, “apple”-shaped, people with mobility issues, etc – and say that people on one side of the line are okay and people on the other side aren’t, you are part of the problem.

1. Fat people should stop expecting us non-whales to pretend that they're not fucking disgusting when they get past a certain point

I'm entitled to my goddamn opinion. So is everyone else. And, y'know what, a gigantic fat bitch with rolls is fucking disgusting. She may have other attributes (such as a great personality, nice sense of humor, amazing blowjob skills, etc) that make up for her less-than-appealing physical appearance, but that doesn't make her Jabba The Hutt appearance any better. What you fucking "fat advocates" really want is for us to all just pretend that they're perfectly ok so that we don't hurt their feelings. Just like how when one of my students gives me a piece of shitty artwork that they drew, I pretend that it's the most fucking awesome thing I've ever seen and I stick it up on my closet door behind my desk. But, y'know what, cunts? Adults don't get that treatment. If you're ginormous, I'm NOT going to patronize you and pretend you look like Betty Grable. You have way more in common with Betty Crocker.

2. Acting like a food coach whenever a fat person is eating “healthy” foods.

• Example: (When ordering a salad): “Good for you! You’re making such a healthy choice!”

How fucking condescending can you get? You don’t know anything about that person’s regular food choices or why they’ve chosen this particular item. Even if you did, how weird is it to make this kind of judgmental comment. Keep it to yourself!

2. Fat people should be motherfucking grateful to have us food coaches.

If you didn't run around in public looking like you NEED a fucking food coach, we wouldn't be trying to supply the service. And we're supplying it free of charge, too! Stop bitching and take our advice!

Yes, of course, I know that there are many fat people who aren't fat because of what they eat. That's just goddamn obvious and doesn't need to be stated. Except, it DOES need to be stated, because you're an idiot and will assume that I'm just as fucking dumb as you if I don't state the obvious! So, yeah, I can see how this point might apply to the small minority of blubber-butts who honestly can't help it. But for most of you, you're huge because you need steel girders under your plate to keep it from collapsing under the strain of all the fucking food you piled on there in the Denny's all-you-can-eat buffet line. So yeah, we're gonna be happy for you when you decide to put down the buttered rolls and pick up a fucking tomato instead! Stop eating 12,000,000 calories a day and we'll stop having to praise you on those rare ocassions that you eat like a normal goddamn human being instead of a fucking bear trying to prepare for hibernation!

3. Talking about food in moralistic terms.

• Example: Reader AmandaLP suggested, “The one that bugs me the most is ‘diet talk,’ or the constant justifying of food choices. ‘oh, I can have this cupcake, I deserve it, I worked out,’ as if people who don’t work out don’t ‘deserve’ tasty treats. Or the ‘No, I was bad for lunch so I’m having a salad,’ as if they have to punish themselves for eating tasty food.”

Food is lots of things. It’s comfort, it’s calories, it’s communion, it’s history and tradition, and it’s fucking yummy. Two things that it isn’t is GOOD or BAD (unless, you know, e coli). And you are not a good or bad person for eating.

3. Well, fuck it, I'm just gonna go ahead and agree with this one

I'm not agreeing because of any moral thing, but just because people who do that are fucking retards. "Herp derp, I ate some cake, now I better punish myself with a salad!" or "I had a soda today at lunch, better drink water for the next 5 meals!" You're an idiot, and fuck you for making me agree with fudgy-brain!

4. Casually mentioning Cheetos, donuts, bonbons, or McDonalds in relation to a fat person.

• Example: “That guy must own stock in Cheetos,” as a way to jokingly say, “That guy is fat.”

Thin people also eat these foods. Gratuitously bringing them up in the context of fat people is making an inappropriate correlation between weight and certain foods.

4. Fat people should increase their sense of humor instead of their gravitational field.

Saying that someone must have a table reserved at McDonald's is fucking hilarious! Fat people who aren't morons and know how to laugh at themselves (a trait everyone should have) will agree. Those who don't are the ones who sat on their sense of humor and crushed it to death. SEE?! That shit was funny! And besides which, the point that thin people also eat those foods is just a dumb point. Thin people may eat those foods, but clearly not at the same level or abundance! That's kind of the point of the joke.

5. Acting surprised when a fat person is active.

• Example: My friend Kitty said, “[S]ometimes I get a shocked look and someone says, ‘wow, you are a good dancer’ like for some reason they had thought about me dancing before and decided it was unlikely that I would be able to.”
• Example: “She’s a really fast runner for her size!”

This kind of shock at fat people being active spans a wide spectrum. At one end, you have assholes leaning out of cars to ridicule fat people who are running or riding bikes. At the other end you have people who think they’re being encouraging with a condescending “good for you!” bestowed upon the exercising person.

If it doesn’t work for you to just stop being either condescending or an asshole (or both), consider this: one of the greatest human drives is the drive to fit in. When you call out someone for doing something weird or exceptional, even just by pointing it out, you are very likely to decrease their desire to continue with that activity.

Whatever motivation works for you fat people doing things isn’t weird, so just shut up.

5. Fat people being active IS weird, so YOU shut up!

If I see a dog snuggling up with a cat in a picture, I think it's cute but also unusual because cats and dogs aren't going to naturally do things like that. Even though it's a good thing to see them getting along, it's still something unsual to see. Likewise, seeing a plus-sized individual huffing and puffing down the street on a morning jog is unusual. We know it's unusual because if that were the normal thing for them to be doing, they wouldn't fucking BE 400 pounds, now would they? Unless you're one of those exceptions we talked about earlier (people with genuine medical conditions that makes it impossible to lose weight), then the ONLY thing neccesary to lose weight and keep it off are a balanced diet and regular excercise. That. Is. ALL. Nothing more is required for the vast majority of people. We have so many fatasses running around now because most people DON'T have a balanced diet and get regular excersize. It's that simple. So yeah, when I see Free Willy bouncing merrily down the road and it looks like he's finally doing something about the lard forcefield around his body, I'll do a fucking double-take at this very out of the ordinary sight and you can go to Hell, bitch!

6. Literally anything about dieting, eating less, or exercising more in the context of fatness.

You have the whole rest of the world to talk about dieting. 99% of the spaces in the world are perfectly welcoming to all kinds of speech about dieting and exercising. When you bring these things up in fat-positive conversations:

• You are stealing away the small amount of space we have carved out for ourselves.
• You are possibly triggering to fat people who are desperately trying to heal their relationships with food.
• You are probably jumping to conclusions, because you don’t have any idea what the eating and exercise habits are of the fat people in question.
• And you’re boring. There is nothing you can say about food and exercise that fat people haven’t heard over and over and over again.

6. If fat people really had heard enough about dieting, eating less, and exercising, they wouldn't still be fucking fat; they clearly haven't heard enough!

I said all I needed to say in the bolded part, really. But I do just need to point out....

>You are stealing away the small amount of space we have carved out for ourselves.
>stealing away the small amount of space we have carved out
>the small amount of space

I seriously just sat and laughed at that for five minutes straight. Moving on..... We'll tackle the next three together since they're all the same stupidity.

7. Compulsively interjecting health into any conversation about fatness.

It has become nearly impossible to talk about fatness without talking about health, because there’s always someone on hand to bring it up. But as difficult as it may be, it’s important to separate these two ideas. Fatness is a body type. It’s a shape or a size. That’s IT.

We’ve all heard that fat people are at increased risk for certain diseases (diabetes is the popular one to joke about), and then our moral panic has taken that association and run with it. People with pale skin are at increased risk for skin cancer, but skin cancer isn’t casually tossed into conversations about them. There is simply no reason to bring up health every time the topic of fatness comes up.

8. Equating fat with health.

• Example: “I don’t understand this fat acceptance. Just because some people are fat and okay with it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be encouraging people to improve their health.” • Example: “My mom has diabetes, doesn’t exercise, doesn’t eat healthy, and isn’t happy at her weight. I’m concerned about her health, so how can I be fat accepting?” • Example: A recent cover of People magazine showed Jennie Garth and stated, “How I lost 30 lbs… The 90210 star opens up about getting healthy.”

See what’s happening there? Fat and health are two different things. You can be fat and healthy. You can be thin and unhealthy. You can be signing the praises of fat from the rooftops AND ALSO be promoting healthy lifestyle choices. You can “get healthy”, but it won’t lead to weight loss for most people. Weight and health are simply two different topics entirely.

9. Equating fat with anything other than fat.

• Example: In the previous example with the Jennie Garth magazine cover, “How I lost 30 lbs” was followed parenthetically by “(And got my life back)”. • Example: An interactive graph at Scientific American is on a page titled “Bad Health Habits are on the Rise”. The items graphed are heavy drinking, binge drinking, tobacco use, obesity, and exercise.

Along with fat not being the same thing as health, fat isn’t the same thing as anything else, either. It certainly isn’t “your life”. It isn’t a “habit”, either. Also, have you noticed how many movie villains are fat? Or how many fictional fat characters are also slobs? Fat doesn’t mean evil or lazy or dirty or messy or anything other than fat. It’s just a body type. Don’t use it as a stand-in for other goals or characteristics.

7. Health is the number one thing that belongs in a conversation about weight.

8. A person's fatness directly corresponds to that person's health.

9. Fat is not "just a body type" it's an indicator of other things too

I'm sorry that science and modern medicine hurt your fucking feelings, but facts are facts. Fatness IS a health issue. Period. You don't just get to ignore the mountains and mountains of scientific and medical data that tell us exactly this. You just don't. You are not entitled to just make up your own fucking set of facts just because you don't like the ones that already exist.

This statement...

"You can be fat and healthy." an outright LIE. Being fat IS unhealthy, all by itself. I get what the author is trying to do, but it's retarded. It's a bit like saying that smoking and the health issues related to smoking are two different things. That's technically true since one is an activity while the other is the highly probable result of that activity, however they are so inextricably interconnected that to view them as seperate is almost laughable. The same is true of fatness and the health problems associated with it. Yes, being fat is a body type, but you'd have to be a giant flaming retard to even pretend that this "body type" isn't indicative of other things; not the least among them being HEALTH ISSUES!

I understand the whole "fat acceptance" thing. I honestly and truly do. Now I want you fat fucks to try your hand at understanding this reality thing. Think you can handle that, Shamu?

Oh, and before I move on, just a comment or two on the objection to fat people being stereotyped as nasty, dirty, slobs, etc. That's because us skinny people haven't had our noses desensitized by keeping it shoved in a plate of food 20 hours a day. We can fucking SMELL you, you fat fucks! You stink. You stink because the sweat and dirt and body oils produced between your rolls stay fucking trapped there. It's like your whole body acts like the underside of a man's scrotum (which stinks). Yeah, you wash your body, I know. Not saying you don't. But I wash my balls too and most of the time they still smell like fucking BALLS, which is generally what your hefty ass smells like when it's not busy smelling like shit and/or piss! Hell, the one's of you who are REALLY big can't even reach your ass well enough to properly wipe it. So don't give me that bullshit that you're not slobs and gross as fuck. You don't intend to be and you probably bathe as much as anyone else, but you've got more roly-poly places for bacteria to hide and ferment, you disgusting enormous douchefucks!

10. Recommending weight loss as a treatment or solution to anything, even if you are a doctor.

• Example: “If you lost a few pounds, your acne would clear up, too” or “Once I lost weight, my allergies got a lot better.”

Since permanent, significant weight loss is not possible for most people, and since intentional weight loss itself may have negative health effects, recommending weight loss is cruel and unethical. Also, prescribing weight loss displaces real, working treatments. Everyone deserves to have their conditions taken seriously and treated with effective care, regardless of their size.

10. If you are not a doctor or other medical professional, you should shut the fucking hell up and do what the person with an education and actual motherfucking knowledge tells you to do, you dumb worthless fat cunt!

Lie #1: "permanent, significant weight loss is not possible for most people"

Lie #2: "intentional weight loss ... may have negative health effects"

Wow, this bitch is just so fucking full of shit here on item number 10 that I can smell her nasty fat ass from here! Permanent, significant weight loss is possible for MOST people, it is not possible for a very small minority of people who have real medical conditions which cause obesity and those people are not the subject of this rant, NOR (as a matter of fact) are they the subject of LoveLiveGrow's "21 Things" list. As for intentional weight loss causing negative health effects, that is only true if you are already at a nominal weight to begin with! For example, I could stand to lose a few pounds probably. Losing 10 or even 20 pounds would be ok for me. I'd be a bit on the scrawny side, but I wouldn't be in any danger. However, what if someone who was already my height and build decided that they were too fat and went on a nutty plan to lose 50 pounds? THAT would be dangerou and unhealthy. However, THAT is not at all what this article is talking about. You listen to me, you dumb bitch... A 300 pound guy losing a hundred pounds isn't fucking dangerous and YOU are the one harming them by telling them bullshit like that. Your lies could actually cost people their fucking health and maybe even their LIVES. You should be goddamn ashamed!

11. Storytelling about you or your fat relative who was/is fat and unhealthy.

• Example: You had an aunt who was fat and her knees hurt; or a brother who is really fat, hides food, and can’t walk very well; or your mom lost a bunch of weight and then she felt so much better, and you want to use those examples or tell their stories whenever weight comes up.

Here’s the thing: most people are not very good scientists. Just because you or your relative is fat and has bad knees doesn’t mean the two things are related. Just because you know someone who lost weight and then felt better doesn’t mean the “felt better” came from the weight loss and not, say, the daily yoga routine that person started. And even if you have a rock solid case for a connection between weight and some health thing, it definitely doesn’t mean that you telling your story will magically help some other fat person see the light. Fat people spend an inordinate amount of time contemplating that light. It’s not like we’re all just one inspirational/threatening story away from finally turning into thin people. These stories aren’t helpful.

11. Here's the thing: YOU are not a very good scientist (like, at all). You clearly didn't even pay attention the Kindergarten lesson on Cause & Effect.

If you weigh 500 pounds and your fucking knees hurt, it's a pretty safe goddamn bet that it has something to do with your weight. Idiot. The human skeletal system never evolved to handle that much weight. Why would it? If you were a fat hunter-gatherer, you were a dead hunter-gatherer. There weren't any obesity problems in the motherfucking Stone Age.

There's a story for you and I'll tell it all I want. Fuck you!

12. Using the words overweight, obese, morbidly obese, unless you are specifically referencing medicine and medical literature.

A lot of people won’t agree with me on this one. Most people would say that these words are just categories with definitions. They are “factual”; they are science. But it’s incorrect to assume that the words of science don’t also convey morals and meaning. Overweight implies that there is a correct weight. The word obese has its roots in the idea of eating too much. Morbidly means sickly. All of these are medical terms, and using them conveys that fatness is a medical problem. This pathologizing of our bodies is harmful.

I sometimes use these terms when I am talking about the results of research, but as much as possible, I leave these terms out of my language.

12. Fatness IS a medical problem

I'm not even sure where to start here. How about with the statement that "Overweight implies that there is a correct weight?" Yeah... there's no implication, you stupid cow. There IS a correct weight. It's unique to each individual and for some it may be relatively high, but the number is determined based on actual medical science (which, you may recall, is that thing you SUCK at).

"The word obese has its roots in the idea of eating too much." Yes, because the majority of fat people are fat because they eat too much or because they eat the wrong things. This coupled with an extreme lack of excercise here in the age of plasma TVs and the Internet is what causes a so-called "epidemic" of obesity. The idea that fatness is a medical condition and that it can't be helped is only true for a small minority of fat people. I happen to know a fat guy like this AND I happen to know that he'll enjoy this rant, because I'm sure that being a fat person who honestly can't help it, he probably feels fucking INSULTED by you lazy stuffing-your-face fatass motherfuckers who try to hop on the "It's a medical condition" train with him, just because you're too goddamn lazy to put down the cinnamon buns and go ride a fucking bike! Let me state this clearly and in no uncertain terms: You are fat because you made yourself fat; It's YOUR fault! This statement is true for the overwhelming majority of people. So much so, that I'm not even that worried about saying it to every fat person reading this because it's unlikely that you are one of the fat people to whom this does not apply.

"Morbidly means sickly." Morbidly means unhealthy to the point of risking death, and that is EXACTLY what you are if you are so overweight as to be classified as "morbidly obese." Stop making yourself feel better and "accepting" your fatness! Get off your fucking hippo ass and FIX IT! I know that's not easy and I don't say it lightly. It's fucking HARD to lose weight (I've never said it isn't). But if you care about it, then fix it. Otherwise, if you don't care and would rather go out fat and happy, then more power to ya! Just don't expect anybody to "accept" your big dumb ass.

13. Gratuitous mentions of food, inactivity, bodily processes, etc when discussing fat people.

Fat people have a certain image in our culture, as overeating, lazy slobs who sweat a lot and smell. If there’s a conversation going on about a person who is fat or about fat issues and you gratuitously insert a mention of someone’s food, how much they don’t exercise, their sweat or farts or thighs that touch, etc, you are building up that negative image. That image is harmful to ALL fat people, whether they fit the stereotype or not.

13. Fat people are overeating, lazy slobs who sweat a lot and smell.

This doesn't apply to all of them, obviously, but (as I said before) if you require me to point out that there's an exception to every generalization, then you're probably not smart enough to keep up with this conversation and should probably just leave now. In fact... is that a pound cake calling your name? Oh yes it is! RUN, FATTY, RUN!

14. Mentioning your tax dollars when talking about size, weight, or health.

• Example: “Fat people’s health is my business as long as my tax dollars go to cover their care.”

Our tax dollars go to support all kinds of programs and people. We don’t get to pick and choose. People are allowed to take risks with their health, even if we are collectively on the hook for the costs of that health.

That being said, fat people don’t really affect our health care costs very much. Any reporting you see to the contrary is simply sensationalism. [-snip-]

14. For the second time, I'm actually going to agree with this crazy bitch.

As they say, even a broken clock is right twice a day. This is twice now that I've agreed with the author. Oh God, could there be more....?

15. Refocusing a fat-related conversation on thin people.

• Example: Recently I posted to my Google+ an incredibly poignant story about a fat trans man coming to terms with his fat body and the body of his fat father. Among other obnoxious things, one of my commenters tried to turn the conversation towards stigma against thin people at another time in history. That might be an interesting conversation to have but not when it’s butting into meaningful conversations about the lives of currently living fat people.

Almost no conversations are pro-fat. Almost no conversations support fat people and their concerns. If one of those conversations is occurring and you bring up thin people, what you’ve done is called “derailing”. It sends a huge message that you don’t think fat people are important, and you don’t want to listen to what they have to say.

15. It's called "comparison." You should look it up, ignorant twat.

And what the fuck was this whore smoking when she posted "Almost no conversations are pro-fat?" ARE YOU SHITTING ME?! This is like white male middle and upper-class Christians complaining that they get discriminated against. It's too fucking absurd to even bother with a response, so I won't.

16. Going on and on and on about your opinion.

This one applies to all kinds of conversations where you have a disagreement or where you’re the newcomer to the concepts. Asking, “But isn’t being fat bad for your health?” will bug me, but it’s a far cry better than going on for 20 minutes at me about how being fat is bad for your health and that’s why it’s okay you have these offensive, harmful views about fat people.

16. It's perfectly ok for us to keep going on and on about scientific and medical FACT as long as you keep going on and on with your opinion that just happens to contradict what science knows to be true.

17. Making any statements about “childhood obesity”.

“Childhood obesity” is a political buzzword. When you say those two words it doesn’t just mean “fat kids”. (It does mean at least that. Every time you hear “childhood obesity” replace it in the sentence with “fat kids” and see what that reveals about the agenda.) “Childhood obesity” is a shorthand for a moral and political platform that spans food morality/policing, issues of class warfare, and pathologizing more bodies for profit.

Here’s the bottom line: we don’t know exactly what makes kids fat or whether it’s a problem that they are and we definitely don’t have any idea whatsoever how to make a fat kid into a thin kid. Anytime you hear people (that includes you!) blaming childhood obesity on something, they are talking out of their asses. What I can tell you is that turning on the news and hearing that there’s a war on your body type sucks for adults and double sucks for kids. Stop saying “childhood obesity” as if it has anything to do with caring about fat kids.

17. We do know what makes kids fat. We do know that it's a problem. We do know how kids can lose weight.

Seriously, I thought I had found a 3rd thing that the author and I could agree on. The whole "childhood obesity" IS a stupid political buzzword and it has more to do with Liberals wanting to play Super-Mommy to the whole goddamn country than anything else. So I was totally with this one until the point where she started in with her fucking "bottom line" and spewed out some fat-apologetic LIES.

18. Focusing on (usually heterosexual) attractiveness in general.

• Example: “At least being bigger means you have bigger boobs, too!”
• Example: “It’s okay, honey, men like women with a few curves.”

These types of statements are ostensibly trying to be helpful, even complimentary. However, all they really do is reiterate that the important thing is being sexually attractive to men.

18. Since it's how the human race survives, sexuality and sexual attractiveness IS pretty goddamn important!

I lost my virginity to a big girl. My wife, while not actually "fat," is no twig either. I DO like my women to have some nice curvature. And fat bitches are good in bed! Since everyone actually does want to feel attractive to the opposite sex (no matter how many neo-feminists try to say otherwise), then it's a GOOD thing that the two example statements in the author's item 18 are TRUE! And it's a good thing that there are plenty of men out there who enjoy the company (and bodies) of plus-sized women. It's a GOOD THING, so stop acting like it's not, you fucking moron!

19. Suggesting that a fat person do something or not do something in order to look less fat or more flattering.

• Example: “I don’t think that’s the right style dress for you. Here, this cut would be more flattering to your shape,” or “This shape of glasses will work best with your round face.”
• Example: “Someone her size shouldn’t be wearing THAT!”
• Example: All clothing products that are advertised as “slimming”.

Whether or not a fat person should wear striped clothes, have a certain haircut, go out in a bikini, etc is entirely up to the fat person in question. “Flattering” is a system of control, trying to wedge us all into tiny boxes. Fuck flattering!

19. "Flattering" is a descriptive word that isn't meant to control you, but to help you to work with what you've got.

As previously stated, everyone wants to be their most attractive. The only people who don't care are people who know that nothing they do will make any fucking difference anyway. In the author's item 19, I read bitterness between those lines. Oh yes, bitterness from someone who's tried everything to look good and found that nothing works. Or, at least in her own mind it doesn't work. How about you keep your fucking lard-ass bitter attitude to yourself and let the non-ugly fat women live it up, you cunt?!


"...trying to wedge us all into tiny boxes..."

Oh fuck, I can't believe she did that again!

20. Referring to fatness as a thing that deservedly happens to bad people.

• Example: Pointing out your evil exboyfriend in the crowd and cooing gleefully, “Hahaha, he’s gotten so fat!”

If you are a nice, non-fat-hating person, maybe you’re thinking this one goes without saying. But I had the example situation happen right in front of me by a close friend. People’s bodies change over time, and that shouldn’t be much of a surprise except that our culture tries so hard to make us struggle to stay 23 years old. But listen: if it fills you with joy when fatness is inflicted on your enemies, that means you think fatness is a terrible thing. At least keep it to yourself.

20. Fatness is a terrible thing and when it happens to people we don't like, it's funny as hell. Period. Grow a sense of humor instead of your waist line

21. Any statements that imply that it’s not okay to be fat, that people shouldn’t get fat, or that people should try to weigh less.

• Example: “I don’t understand why someone would let themselves get that fat.” • Example: “I’m happy with my body the way it is, but I wouldn’t want to get any bigger.”

We don’t know how to make fat people into thin people or thin people into fat people. It’s okay for the people who are fat to be fat. Fat isn’t a horrible thing that we need to try desperately to avoid. The only horrible thing is the amount of abuse heaped onto the backs of fat people.

21. It's NOT OK for people to be fat. People shouldn't get fat. People should try to weigh less.

Obvious exceptions to this rule are obvious. Otherwise, put down the "king size" Twix bar and go take a walk around the block, chubbers! Being fat is an UNNATURAL and UNHEALTHY state! I'm not talking about just being "big boned" or whatever. Yes, some people have a larger frame and are therefore never going to look like skinny little fucking twig supermodels. Everyone's body is different, but there are certain universal traits we all avoid and fatness is one of them.

And that's the end of the list. Technically, only 19 ways for fat people to go fuck themselves since I actually agreed with this fucked-up bitch twice. Before you leave all pissed off and prepare to write me an email, don't. The idea of "fat acceptance" is abhorent and I'm not going to listen to you. I agree with the fat apologists on some minor points. Obviously nobody should be treated cruelly for no reason. That's the only "fat acceptance" that even matters.

I DO understand the desire to get us skinny bitches to stop being cruel and hurtful toward fat people. Now, you fat fucks need to understand that you're being unreasonable. Expecting us to pretend that being fat isn't unhealthy, unattractive, disgusting, or in any way bad for you is just insane. That has nothing to do with treating the Heffers Among Us like goddamn decent human beings. I've never treated a fat person badly and never really even had anything bad to say about fat people.

The funny thing is, I probably obeyed most of the things on this list without even thinking about it, if for no other reason than that I don't care. Why so over-the-top hating on fatties in this rant? Because the author of what I was responding to went out of her way to be over-the-top (and around the bend) pretending that being fat is just husky-dorey! I don't really give a shit about fat people, but if you're going to start denying reality to make them look awesome and expect me to do the goddamn same, you can go fuck yourself with a rusty iron hook, bitch!

As a smoker, I fully support the choice to be unhealthy if it makes you happy. The difference is that I don't run around saying that there's nothing wrong with smoking. I don't sit here and tell people that smoking "isn't a medical problem." Yes, the fuck, it IS! And guess what kills way more people annually than smoking? That's right, being a goddamn fatass, that's what! But the way our society is right now, a fucking 400 pound greasy nasty stank-ass bitch can walk up to me and demand that I put out my cigarette. This is perfectly acceptable, yet I'm not allowed to tell you that maybe your super-sized ass should just get the small fries at McDonald's.


Be all the fatass you want to be. Nobody cares. It's your decision and, for most of you, it IS a personal choice. But stop pretending it's anything else. You're not entitled to have the rest of us overlook your VERY LARGE flaw just because you've managed to convinced yourself that it's...... no big deal.

NOTE: Just in case you missed it, the original article is printed right here at this link. The article quoted in this rant is the sole Copyright of and is reprinted here under the terms of the Fair Use doctrine for the purpose of comment and criticism.

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