History always punishes conservatives, not because conservatives are bad or wrong, but because they are, by definition, stuck. If you're standing still while the world is moving, you're going to get left behind.
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Lord Galen
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You're Voting for the Wrong Reasons
January 22, 2012

This rant is addressing both the political Right and the political Left. BOTH of these retarded sides have a consistent problem that is fucking them over. That problem is, simply, the issues you base your votes on. Let me correct that: The SELFISH issues you base your votes on. I'm going to be covering the three main issues that win or lose elections for a candidate. They are:

• Abortion
• Gay Marriage
• Gun Control

Right from the start, let me say that I'm not dismissing these issues or calling them trivial. They are important issues, yes, but they are also issues that sit staunchly in the category of "personal" issues. What I mean by this is that they affect you on a personal level, as opposed to issues that affect the entire country as a whole. Boring issues like campaign finance reform, debt reduction, foreign policy, immigration, job creation, etc. Those things are important, but they aren't the big "hot button" issues. You don't see too many heated arguments over these things like you do with the Big Three.

Let me take just a few minutes here and make a statement about these Big Three issues. You guys (especially Conservatives) really NEED to hear this, and I mean really hear this.

Abortion isn't going to be banned, retard. No matter how much you hate it, it isn't going anywhere. No matter how many "pro-life" candidates you vote in, it isn't going to become illegal. It just ISN'T. We've crossed that bridge and I'm sorry that you don't like the outcome, but it IS the outcome and the fight really is over. Roe v. Wade *was* the battle and if you're "pro-life" you lost it. Even if you managed to rig an entirely pro-life congress, white house, and supreme court, they would STILL never be able to legally justify overturning Roe v. Wade and making abortion illegal. The issue is settled in the eyes of the law and you need to stop basing your votes on it.

Gay marriage IS coming. You might not like it. You might think it's a terrible detrimental thing for this country and that it's opposed to your god's ideals, but it's really too late. I'm afraid there just ISN'T any way that any politician is going to stop gay people from getting married. Right now, you're like those ignorant white assholes who tried to oppose interracial marriage. The reality of that was inevitable. The same is true now with gays. The gay marriage train is coming through and your ass is standing on the tracks.

Guns aren't getting banned either, dumbass. They just aren't. It's the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution. Yeah, liberals will point out how it's been held by the Supreme Court that the 2nd amendment means this that or the next thing, but guess what genius? Everyone still has their guns. And y'know what else? Nobody's taking them away. It's just a simple fact that as long as the 2nd Amendment is in place, the guns aren't going anywhere. Liberals wish they would and Conservatives fear the "anti-gun" politicians, but it's just another selfish issue. Conservatives: Nobody is going to take your guns away, stop fucking wetting yourselves over it. Liberals: Guns are here to stay, get over it.

Now, you might not like these facts, but they are patently obvious facts. They're facts that you really already knew, deep down. Even if you're pissed that I said it, you're really just pissed to be hit in the face with the cold hard truth of the matter. All your protests and lobbying against these facts ISN'T going to change jack shit.

The main reason that these issues are really non-issues is because politicians (for the most part) don't actually CARE about these things. They either don't care or they KNOW these battles are hopeless. George W. Bush was re-elected in 2004 largely because of his stance against gay marriage. And what did he do about gay marriage? Not a goddamn thing.

And do you know WHY Bush didn't really DO anything to topple the horrible institution of fagdom? Because he COULDN'T and he KNEW that he couldn't! He used that "hot button" issues to gain your votes because he knew the truth of what I'm saying here - the point of this entire rant.

You morons are constantly letting yourselves get manipulated into giving your vote away to politicians who agree with you on PERSONAL issues that they, in reality, CAN'T AFFECT! The Big Three issues mentioned here are nothing but vote-gaining tools for politicians on both sides of the isle. All politicians know that you're just dumb enough to vote for them if they pick one side or another on these things and keep hammering the point home.

These issues and others like them help to paint a solid line down the middle and create the "Us against Them" mentality that keeps your stupid ass coming back to the voting booth for one side or the other. Y'know why the government REALLY can't fix the economy? Because that's not what you elected them for. The majority of voters didn't pick representatives based on their economic track record, they gave their vote to the guy who agrees with them on issues that the candidate CAN'T CHANGE anyway! And, in many cases, they actually voted AGAINST their own self-interest in favor of the "moral vote."

Here is what needs to happen to fix this. Every single person in this country, no matter what side of the isle you land on, needs to STOP giving a fuck about abortion, gay marriage, guns, and other such "hot button" issues for just ONE election. Just ONE! If you could all stop trying to hammer your own personal morality into politics for just one goddamn election and actually start voting for candidates based on things they can actually change (and probably would actually change if anybody gave a fuck), you'd see an IMMENSE difference in this country! And honestly, out of the Three issues mentioned, gay marriage is the only one that even still needs any support at all! The one thing it needs most is just TIME, plain and simple. It WILL become a reality and there's no stopping it, no matter how badly anyone wants to. So, gay activists, stop worrying so goddamn much and just keep doing what you've been doing and you'll be just fine. And yeah, you'll be just fine REGARDLESS of whether your state senators support gay marriage or not. It's still going to come to pass. There is NO opposition that can stop it, so stop wasting your goddamn vote on this PERSONAL issue! Your lobbying and activism is more than enough to make the difference and the difference will be made no matter which side politicians stand on the issue.

Instead of those personal, selfish, moral issues, here's an idea. Start voting based on whether your candidate supported the bank bailouts. Start voting based on whether your candidate supported SOPA. Start voting based on whether your candidate the people or big business. Start sending these fucking politicians the very clear message that we are WATCHING what they are actually DOING, not just buying their bullshit moral messages!

If you voted for a bank-bailout, deregulating, censorship-supporting sonofabitch just because he agrees with you on Gays, Guns, and God, then you're part of the fucking problem and you don't get to bitch when you don't have a job anymore and the whole country is going to shit, because hey, at least you have your grandaddy's gun, your "I respect pre-natal life" bumper sticker and those fucking faggots can't married, right?

And, lest I seem like I'm picking on the Conservatives.... When YOU don't have a goddamn job anymore, you fucking whiny ass liberal, just remember that at least you did your part to stop all those silly rednecks from getting easy access to guns, you helped keep abortion legal, and goddamnit you marched for gay pride too! As long as you've got your gay pride, it's all good! Right? Right....

If you vote based on whether the candidate agrees with you on personal issues, then congratulations on being PART OF THE PROBLEM! Nobody gives a shit about your personal morality and it WON'T "fix" this country, you dick-eating retard!

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