Insanity in individuals is something rare; but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs it is the rule.
Lord Galen
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How Am I Supposed To Feel?
June 8, 2010

Dear Galen

I hate people.

I hate all of them, they are greedy, lazy, selfish, rude, annoying and get in my way, I'm 17 now, turning 18 in a few months.

I just wanted to turn 18, leave and become a Hermit or some shit, but then I met my neighbor who lives across the street.

She is the only person in this world I've ever met that I don't hate, I've never been close to anyone, not my family, when i was younger, I was the kid everyone picked on, barely have any friends, and she walks in to my life.

I've grown close to her, for the most part, she's funny, she's cute, she's fun to be around, we go on walks around the neighborhood, talking about random bullshit only we care about, for about a month now.

I actually wanted to ask her out, I've never felt this way for anyone, ever, I don't know if it's love, I've only seen the word in writing or have other people say it, she makes me happy, she makes me feel like humanity isn't a waste of time.

But I wanted to ask her out, we were sitting outside at a restaurant, talking about more bullshit, and she says that she has a boyfriend in Georgia.

I don't even know how I'm supposed to feel about this, soon after that, we head home and she goes off with her friends to do something, when I'm not with her, I'm generally surrounded by dip shits who won't leave me alone, who do nothing but ask questions and bombard me with their stupid bullshit.

When I'm with her, I'm...Happy, she makes me feel human, the worlds bullshit seems to fade away, when I'm with her, even the people who i couldn't stand become nothing more then after thoughts, but now, I'm just content, I don't really know what to do, I still want to be friends with her, but, I don't know.


Dear Misanthrope

Ah, the pain of being in love with someone who doesn't feel the same for you. It's an old familiar pain to me, personally. Sounds like it's the first time you're experiencing it. That sucks, but you came to the right person for advice, given all my experience with this.

And the advice is simple: Put up or shut up. You can either go after her or you can suck it up and just accept the fact that it's never going to happen. I'm sure you've considered the pros and cons of each choice. If you go after her, you might fuck up the friendship, OR you might actually get her! If you don't make a move, you keep the friendship and suffer in your longing for her and pretty soon when you're around her you'll think of absolutely nothing but how you want to hold her and be with her.

Keeping that shit to yourself is misery, dude. You think you hate the human race, NOW? Just wait'll you've had a few years of torturing yourself over this and wanting to blame every one and every thing except her and you for how you feel!

Make your move. Tell her how she makes you feel. And DON'T get discouraged by rejection! If she's not intersted, don't make a big deal out of it. Just accept it and continue with the friendship, pretending nothing happened....

Oh, but she won't forget. Don't you worry about that. She'll remember how you feel and if there's ever any chance at all, she'll remember YOU when the hick boyfriend gets dumped. That's when you'll know for sure. If the boyfriend is gone and you're there for her and she doesn't come to you (in due time), THEN you know there's no chance.

But if that happens (and, honestly, that's probably what WILL happen), at least you fucking tried! At least you didn't sit on your ass being a coward and always wondering "what if?"

I'll say it again: Put up, or shut up!

All My Hate,
Lord Galen

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