If people are good only because they fear punishment and hope for a reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
-Albert Einstein
Lord Galen
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Confusing Feelings
June 8, 2010


Dear Galen


I'm 21 years old. I think I might be bi curious, or bisexual, but I'm not sure. When I was maybe 14 or 15, and I was at my grandparents house (my grandpa's an over religious zealot), and I saw this movie, "My Summer of Love", the last half of it, I think. Next time I came over he had blocked it....guess he thought it was "innappropriate". I guess you could say it became a forbidden fruit sort of thing. This was my mom's father, she was raised in a strict Lutheran household, and I believe she's been repressed about sex with the whole "shame" complex of it.. Truth be told, I've given up on religion.

I've kissed both guys and girls, but have always felt a strong attraction to women for some reason, even though I've never had a boyfriend yet, let alone intercourse.

I feel afraid to experiement with anyone, because my friends can be a bit judgemental at times, but my bff told me she thinks I might be bi curious, and I'm starting to think she's right. I don't really know where to turn next in this curiosity. What should I do, I really need some advice here?

Signed,
Confused


Dear Confused

What you should do is already very obvious to you. The problem is that you're so fucking hung up on what other people think of you, it's getting in the way. Look, everybody cares what other people think of them to some degree. Even I do, to an extent. There's nothing wrong with that. Humans are social animals and it's hard-wired into our DNA to give a crap about how other humans view us.

But when your fear of how others will view you is CRIPPLING to the process of you living your life and being happy, that is simply unacceptable! You told me everything I ever needed to know about you, in this one line:

I feel afraid to experiement with anyone, because my friends can be a bit judgemental at times...

Let's condense that down a little bit:

I feel afraid ... because [of] my friends

Two words that should never go together in the same sentence: "Afraid" and "friends."

If your "friends" cause you to fear being who you really are and doing what truly makes you happy, then you do not HAVE friends. What you have, my dear, are stumbling blocks in road of life. You can keep pretending that those blocks are just sitting there in the middle of the road for you to lean on, but the more you do that, the more you'll keep tripping over them and landing flat on your face.

Given your upbringing, I'm really not surprised by the sexual repression and shame that you seem to be feeling. Even though you've "given up on religion" that brainwashing stays with you. You consider yourself "better" than your mom, because she has all her sex shame and whatnot, but the key to helping yourself is to first recognize that YOU suffer the same affliction (maybe to a lesser extent, but it's there nonetheless).

You asked me what you should do. At first I answered that it's plainly obvious, but now I'll just tell you, because while it might be obvious it might also be something that you can't bring yourself to admit.

You do whatever the fuck makes YOU happy. Take note of that word there in all caps. YOU. Not your friends. Not your mother. Not your BFF. Not your fucking cat. YOU.

Does making out with a girl make you happy? THEN FUCKING DO IT! Don't wait to see if anybody approves of it, JUST FUCKING DO IT! Friends don't like it? Then they're not your friends, fuck 'em! There's a cliche little saying that comes to mind right now. It's kinda stupid and simplistic, but I really like it and, frankly, it needs to become your new life motto:

The people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter.

In closing, I'd like to make observations about you and your "friends." My observation about you is that you came to me for advice, which means you must be a SnipeMe reader and possibly even a fan. If you're one of my fans, chances are you're one smart bitch. Now, my observation about your friends is that if they're judgemental and would look negatively upon you for being happy in a homosexual relationship, then they AREN'T very fucking intelligent! Combining these two simple observations leads me to one final observation: You are better than them. What they think of you is irrelevant. You are clearly their better and it is what YOU think of THEM that matters. You are their superior and should look down your fucking at them from this point forward. Compared to a Sniper, a bunch of fucking homophobe bigots are like the dog shit held in place by gum on the bottom of your goddamn shoe. They are NOTHING compared to you.

Live your life. Be happy. Do what YOU want, and stop worrying about the opinions of those who aren't fit to wipe your fucking ass!


All My Hate,
Lord Galen


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