Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
-H. L. Mencken
Lord Galen
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Why Are We Still Doing This Shit?
July 4, 2010


The title of this rant is vague. Why? Because why should I have to explain every goddamn thing to you retards right off the bat? Don't worry, here it comes.

The title question is referring to this war America is involved in. You know, that war we've been involved in since 2001. The war that's not officially a war because we don't officially have a fucking official target to call an official enemy! The war that keeps changing locations, targets, and goals more often than Michael Jackson changed noses (oooh, still too soon?). The war we should've been over and done with in under a week! THAT FUCKING WAR!

So I'd like to restate my question: Why in the motherfucking shit are we still busy doing this same goddamn thing nine years later? We knew where Bin Laden was in 2001. WE KNEW THEN! Any grunt serving in Afghanistan can take you somewhere this very day and tell you "Bin Laden is about 2 miles from here." Any fucking army cook can do it. I know they can and anybody reading this who knows somebody serving over there, YOU KNOW IT TOO!

"Oh, but Galen, Al Queda is a highly trained fighting force of skilled terror operatives blah blah blah blah etc etc..." STFU!

Al Queda and the Taliban are several thousand rednecks with homemade bombs and old stolen guns, running around the goddamn middle east drunk as shit and looking for a fight because they're blue-balling like you just would not fucking believe! They're not skilled, they're not "highly trained," they're not anything they're made out to be. To view the picture painted by our media and government, you'd think Al Queda "operatives" were on par with fucking 007. Not quite.


Ah la la la la praise to Allah and GIT R DUN!

I mean, seriously? Nine years and we can't round up the goddamn middle eastern version of the Dukes of Hazzard?

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REALLY NOW?! Come the fuck on!

Sadly, that IS what it all boils down to. A bunch of incompotent fucks being led around by a few fairly competent people are kicking the SHIT out the Red, White, and Blue!

Oh, we're not getting our asses kicked? Really? Where's Osama Bin Laden? For all the shooting, bombing, invading, waterboarding, and secret no-trials prison camps, have we actually accomplished one goddamn goal in the last nine years? Anything?

"Oh, oh, I know! I know! We got rid of Sadaam! AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!"

Yes, we did do that. In nine long years, we did manage to accomplish one thing. One thing that, by the way, WASN'T one of our goals and had NOTHING to do with 9/11 or the "war on terror."

"OMG Galen, Sadaam was helping the Taliban!!1!!!1!"

Fuck you. Sadaam hated Bin Laden's guts as much as we do. If we'd asked him, he probably would've HELPED us catch the fucker, just out of spite!

"OMGWTFBBQ?! THE NEWS LIED TO ME!!!!"

Go die in a fire, you ignorant piles of shit.

Whatever we set out to accomplish, we haven't. Whatever good ay have come from the "war on terror" is thus far intangible. Get out of the middle east, get OFF their goddamn oil, and let them all kill each other in their stupid fucking holy wars just like they've been doing for the last who-the-fuck-even-knows-how-long. I sit sometimes looking at my students. Elementary school kids. It occurs to me sometimes when I look at them that not a single one of them can remember a world without war. Not a single child in that school can remember a time when Americans weren't fighting and dying in a foreign country for FUCKING NOTHING. That makes me so sad....


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