We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes.
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Schools Are Prisons
(And That's A Good Thing)
August 27, 2010

I've long struggled with the duality of my beliefs and my existance. On the one hand, I'm a staunch supporter of Youth Rights, a movement which tends toward the belief that compulsory education is immoral and tantamount to slavery, imprisonment, etc. On the other hand, I'm an educator in the public school system; it's my "bread and butter" and I fucking like my job. Still, on the other hand (I'm a god, I get to have 3 hands if it suits me, stfu), There is my first love and life's work: Combatting stupidity wherever it lies.

I think I have finally reconciled my seemingly conflicting beliefs and, having reached a conclusion (which is obviously the right answer since I'm the one who came up with it), I've decided to share my wisdom with the lowly masses (that's you) one more time.

So here's the deal. The Youth Rights movement is 100% correct. Forcing children to attend school IS a denial of their fundamental freedom and it is exactly like prison!

But let's examine that comparison a little more closely. What is a prison? Well, the comparison is obvious because a prison is a place where criminals are denied their right to be free based on the fact that if they had their freedom they would be a detriment and a danger to society as a whole. Now, I don't hear many cries to eliminate prisons completely. Oh sure, there are those who believe in rehabilitation and only using imprisonment as a last resort for dangerous people who can't be "fixed," but for the most part, you're not going to find a lot of people who think that prisons should be entirely done away with. Why not, though? I mean, why DO we tolerate the fact that millions of people all over the world are having their fundamental right to be free taken from them?

Because the world would be a fucking festering shithole of anarchy and chaos without taking away the freedom of those whose freedom is a danger to everyone else.

Yes, school is exactly like prison.

You see, fuckers, children do have a natural curiousity and ability to learn that far surpasses what schools give them. Schools, in fact, strip away this natural desire to learn everything possible and turn children into little fact-spewing robots (or worse). But, can any of you honestly tell me that you've never met a person who just fucking didn't CARE to know shit? Like, it's just not a part of that person's personality to give a shit about why/how things happen or any of that? Ok, so what about THAT person? Do we just let that little idiot grow up to be a detriment to society? And then the REAL problem comes in when you consider the human race itself as the ultimate proof that the YR movements claims about how well people would do without someone forcing them to learn are claims built on a mountain of never having observed a single human being.

Most humans are neither ambitious nor intelligent. Most will indeed learn what they absolutely need to know, but nothing more. Has anyone stopped to consider that the human race has made more progress (and made it faster) since the inception of institutionalized education than it did in the two-hundred thousand years prior?

And this is where my conflicting beliefs merge and revolve around a third unifying belief.

Schools are prisons, where children are forced to attend and forced to learn what the state proscribes. And just like a penetentiary, it's an evil to deprive people of their freedom, but a neccesary evil.

My unifying belief is the belief that I've expressed in the vast majority of the rants here on this site. People are complete idiots who cannot ever be trusted to not be fucking morons unless you slap them around and force them to think! School is an evil prison, but that's a GOOD thing! Forcing people to learn things they'd otherwise never bother with is a GOOD thing! The acquisition of knowledge is a GOOD THING! Leaving human beings to their own devices, after they've proven millions and millions of times over that they're just too stupid is a damn dangerous idea.

Mandatory schooling is indeed a totalitarian idea. Yes it is indeed and it is morally wrong, but it is also realistically neccesary. Let me put it to you in one simple little sentence that your tiny public-school brain can grasp: You have to FORCE people to know things or they just WON'T.

Now, am I saying that it's a perfect system? Fuck no! It should be reformed, it should be fixed, it should be WAY the hell better than it is, but one thing it should never be is eliminated. Forcing people to fucking learn the basic facts of human knowledge is VITAL! Not doing so, and letting those STUPID UNEDUCATED ASSHOLES run around loose is as much a danger to our world as closing down the prison system.

Immoral and anti-YR, yes, but still a much needed service!

Oh, I can just hear the dissent now. Over at NYRA or echoing through the halls of the School Survival forums.

They'll say I've gotten old and now I'm really an "adult" and I've forgotten what it was like. No, I haven't forgotten. It sucked ass and I hated it. But I'm also a lazy fuck and I'm glad somebody forced me to goddamn learn something. Sure, I learned more away from school than in school (most intelligent people do), but what about the UNintelligent people? Or hell, what about the stuff you actually DID learn in school? Is that worth NOTHING to you???

So yeah, I know what Youth Rights people will say about me now. And they already know what I'll say back, but I'll just go ahead and throw it out there anyway:

Let's review: You get to be a prisoner for 7 hours a day. It's not because you've done anything wrong, but it IS because you deserve it. You're probably an average human being and, thus, a fucktard. Somebody has to force you to know your ABCs retard, and that somebody is me. Now shut the goddamn fuck up and take your forced education like a man, you big fucking crybabies! WAAAAAAH, THE GOVERNMENT IS MAKING ME ONLY 50% STUPID INSTEAD OF 100% STUPID, IT'S VIOLATING MY RIGHTS, MAKE THEM STOP, WAAAAAAHHHH!!!! IF IT WEREN'T FOR THEM, I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT 50% AND 100% FUCKING MEANS, THAT'S SLAVERY WAAAAAHHHH!!!

Seriously. Fucking. Shut. UP. Idiot.

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