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Is The Word 'Idiot' In That Dictionary?
January 25, 2010

The following rant is based on this news story:
School District Bans Dictionaries Over Sex Term
8:47 AM PST, January 25, 2010

MENIFEE -- A school district in Riverside county has taken dictionaries out of its classrooms because of a sex term some parents find offensive.

District officials say the problem came to light after a parent complained when a child came across the term "oral sex." Officials with the Union School District are forming a committee to consider permanently banning the Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary 10th edition.

A memo from Assistant Superintendent Karen Valdes acknowledged the dictionary is a respected resource, but said district officials found that "a number of referenced words are age-inappropriate."

This is the definition: "Main Entry: oral sex Function: noun Date: 1973 : oral stimulation of the genital."

Some parents and advocates of free speech are fighting back, saying the district is overreacting.

Peter Scheer, executive director of the California First Amendment Coalition says "common sense seems to be lacking in this school."

Menifee is a city of about 67,000 people 80 miles southeast of Los Angeles.

Meinfee Union School District serves about 9,000 students in kindergarten through eighth grade.

[ Source ]

Immediate reaction:

My first vocal reaction was a direct quote from GLaDOS (the evil AI from Portal): "You are kidding me?! That has got to be the dumbest that- whoa, whoa, WHOA!"

I feel like I type these words in every single rant, but here it is again: Just when I think that I've seen the absolute stupidest thing that human beings are capable of doing, I'm proven wrong by an even DUMBER thing! For those of you who wonder why I write much fewer rants than I used to, this is it. How do you even put into words the disgust and contempt for such a level of stupidity? Often, I find myself standing in sheer awe, mouth agape, at an overwhelming act of pure unapologetic idiocy that stares me in the face. I think "What is there to say? How can I possibly rant about this? IT'S TOO STUPID! EVEN SAYING HOW STUPID IT IS WOULD BE LIKE POINTING OUT THAT THE SKY IS BLUE!"

Yet here I am, pointing out all the blueness of the sky, the green of the grass, the smallness of an atom, the inbred retardedness of Sarah Palin, and the pure blistering dumbfuckery of banning dictionaries from a school district.

Wait, let me just say that again. It's a SCHOOL. A place whose job is to increase knowledge and dispell ignorance. A FUCKING SCHOOL! And what are they doing INSTEAD of handing out free knowledge and bitch-slapping ignorance with the fucktacular Sword of Intellect?

That's right, they're busy "protecting" our "children" from things that no normal human being needs to be "protected" from. OH NO, THE KIDS MIGHT LEARN WHAT ORAL SEX MEANS?! Three questions:

1. As stated in the picture above, don't they need to at least know the word before they can look it up? Dictionaries don't work so well by random chance.

2. Isn't any "child" who's mature enough to know the word and to understand the definition already mature enough that they probably already knew what the fucking word meant in the first place? I mean, the kid pointed it out to their parent, like "Look mom, a dirty word in the dictionary!"

3. Does the special education program up there in Karen's district serve the administrators as well? Because, if not, it SHOULD.

So, what EXACTLY are the kids being "protected" from? Either they already know what "oral sex" is, or they don't and wouldn't understand the fucking dictionary definition if they read it! WHERE'S THE PROTECTION?!

A seperate point I'd like to make is the "What fucking cave have you been living in for the past 100 or so years?" point. The dictionary has ALWAYS had words in it that will make children giggle and squeal. Hell, I can very clearly remember my friends and I, in the 2nd grade, looking up "penis" and "vagina" and all sorts of other words. We found them in a serious book and laughed like hell about it. This is the reaction one might expect from a 2nd grader. Typically, 7yo children tend to be a bit immature about their doo-hickeys and thingamajig parts. So I can understand that reaction from my 7yo self and my cohorts. What I DON'T understand is why the supposedly "mature adults" of this particular school district (including some whacked-out parents who need to share their fucking weed with me) seem to be having the exact SAME reaction! Shouldn't the parents and educators of that district be just a little bit worried that the people in charge of educating children there seem to have the same fucking mentality as their students?

Personally, if I found one of my students giggling about "oral sex" in the dictionary, I'd punish them for dicking around with the goddamn book instead of fucking paying attention to ME! Yes, congratulations Johnny, you found that a dictionary contains the definitions of WORDS in the english language. Good for you! Now, go share that information with our friend Karen, because apparently she didn't know.

So what's next, Dumbfuck Unified School District? Maybe some kid will Google "breasts and thighs" looking for the nearest KFC and accidentaly hit on some porn. Oh shit, then you'll have to ban the Internet! What about the daily paper? Lots of schools have newspapers in the classroom, but what if there's a story about a rape? Can't have the kids seeing any word that's even remotely sexual, right?

My personal opinion is that any kid who can already read the word "oral sex" and already has an idea of what it means, SHOULD have an idea of what it means! That's a little human mental process called LEARNING. Maybe you school administrators have heard of it? It's the process by which we discover information and then seek out additional data on the subject. The dictionary is HARDLY a fucking sex-ed manual. Why are your students having to look up those words in dictionaries anyway? Could it be because their teachers are forbidden to answer such questions and their parents are too goddamn chickenshit (or religious) to answer them?

So, Karen, why don't you and the rest of the Dumbfuck Ignorant Cunt Club back the fuck up off the dictionary? Be thankful your kids can spell "oral" and that they have at least some idea of what it means. Be thankful for their LACK of ignorance! But you can't do that, right? Just like any good "educator," the moment you see the slightest spark of curiousity and learning about something that isn't fucking "state approved" you have to squash it. You have to rip out dictionaries and burn away ANYTHING that might feed their natural curiousity about the world around them. To do otherwise, well, these children might actually LEARN something. Can't have that....

PS - Karen Valdes' e-mail address:

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