Wizard's Third Rule: Passion rules reason, For better or for worse.
-Terry Goodkind
Lord Galen
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Misunderstanding Parent
July 4, 2010


Dear Galen


My Father is always telling me how wrong I am, never anything good about me, and he never leaves me alone, no matter what I try to say to him about it. He thinks I'm immature, need to "grow up", and get my priorities straight, and take responsibilty, and handle things, but I already know how to do that!! He is driving me insane!!! It seems like he doesn't give a shit how bad he hurts me. What do I do about this?

Signed,
Pissed Off Girl


Dear Pissed Off Girl,

You're going to hate hearing this, but I honestly don't think I have any advice for you. See, what you're experiencing is normal. It's what happens between millions of parents and their children. Kids think they're just fine, parents don't. Happens every single day thoughout the generations and it'll probably keep happening for a long time to come.

I wish there WAS something I could tell you. I recall going through the same thing when I was a teenager. My dad and I really did NOT like each other AT ALL. I'm really easy-going (to the point of being lazy) and I prefer to take my sweet time with anything. Whereas my dad is more of the "If something needs doing, do it now" type of person. When it's time to wake up, I lay there for a while to clear the fog from my brain. My dad threatened to turn a hose on me more times than I can count. Growing up, my parents were SURE that my brother and sister would be the ones having to take care of me when we were adults. Like I'm some kind of fucking retard who can't take care of himself. Hell, to this very day, my family still treats me like a fucking retard who can't do shit for himself! It's INCREDIBLY frustrating.

But, that's family for you, and I've noted the same things in many other people. No matter what you do with your life or how happy YOU are with the way things are, you will always have your family to not fucking be impressed by you one damn bit.

But there is good news. It gets better. Once you're an adult and out from under their roof, things get A LOT better. My dad and I discovered that we like each other just fine, we just don't like LIVING with each other! As a teenager, I would've told you without hesitation that I fucking hated my dad's guts with every fiber of my being. Now, I can honestly say that I love my dad. The conflict and disagreements are just something that's part of growing up. Thankfully, that means they're something that will go away when you do grow up.

No, you're dad doesn't care that he's hurting you because he thinks he's doing you a favor in the long run. In some respects, he very well might be. For example, I have never missed a day of work. Sick, feeling like shit, doesn't matter. I still go to work. This is thanks to a strong work ethic instilled in me by my dad. I hated the process that instilled it in me, but I'm now thankful to have it. I may be a lazy shit much of the time, but I don't slack off on my JOB; that's just unacceptable. You will find the same is true when you're an adult. You will find that there are things taught to you by your dad's harsh treatment that make you a better person, and a person that you LIKE being.

All of this doesn't help you right now, though. And there's nothing that will. All I can tell you is to just hang in there and hold on to the comfort that this won't last forever. There is a light at the end of the dark tunnel you're in. Good luck.


All My Hate,
Lord Galen


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