Wizard's Eighth Rule: Deserve victory.
-Terry Goodkind
Lord Galen
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Interfaith Relationship
February 28, 2010

Dear Galen

I figure since you are in what could be considered an interfaith relationship, you might be able to give me something to think about, or at least make fun of me for worrying about this shit.

I recently met this girl, and we went on a couple of dates. She is really nice, and we get along well. The only real issue is that she is a Mormon, and I am an atheist. Mormons believe some crazy ass shit, but from my perspective, it's no less crazy than the magical sky man in any other religion, the atheist dating pool where I live is pretty much non-existent, and I don't have an issue with other people believing stupid shit as long as they don't try to push it on me.

The other day, she messaged me out of nowhere asking if I had a problem with her being a Mormon, and I explained how I felt about it. My concern is not so much what I think about it, but how she feels about what I believe. I will never lie about who I am or what I believe in, I make honesty a policy.

Have you had a running dialogue with your wife and past girlfriends about religion, or have you just avoided the topic all together? Have you ever gone to church with her? I like this girl, but I don't want to deal with the bullshit. Do you have any advice for Galanist - Mormon relationships?

[Name removed by Galen]

Dear guy who signs his real name to DG letters like a dumbass

I deal with it by almost never discussing it. While I, like you, think that all religion is absolutely retarded, I don't neccesarily think less of the PEOPLE who believe religious nonsense. It takes a LOT of guts to cast off something you were raised to believe and have believed in for most of your life. Not everyone is capable of that level of strength. That's not a slam against religious people, it's just a statement of fact that some people aren't going to bother with the deep introspective questioning required to break free of a lifetime of indoctrinated belief. That includes religion, ageism, racism, social conventions, etc. Some people just go with it.

So, I don't think less of my wife for being Catholic. Sure, while I might enjoy taunting the religious by saying "only an idiot could believe in those stupid fucking Bronze Age fairy tales!" I don't honestly think you have to be an idiot to believe it. After all, I believed in God for most of my adult life and I am no idiot!

That mutual respect is the key. As atheist, we very often fall into the trap of looking down our noses at theists. I usually only do that online to be an asshole, but I've been known to actually feel that way. The problem is that this can leak into our personal lives as well and it SHOULDN'T! Not ever! My own personal "war on Christianity" has nothing whatsoever to do with my wife and it doesn't belong in my home.

Of course, I couldn't be that way if she weren't the same way. We don't debate religion. We don't even really discuss it usually. We last talked about religion months ago when I told her that I was an atheist and had been for quite a while, but was just not secure enough in my (lack of) belief to be open about it. She expressed disappointment. Both of her brothers married non-Catholics and so did she, but now she not only found herself married to a non-Catholic, but a fucking non-believer! That had to hurt.

I've simply accepted that she will always hold on to her irrational childhood beliefs and she has accepted that I'm going to Hell (LOL!). Simply put, this is not in your hands alone. You need to let go and let God.... HA, just fuckin' with ya! No, but really, to make an interfaith relationship work takes BOTH of you. There's nothing you CAN do; at least, not alone. But it has to be a peaceful acceptance from you both. Just saying "we disagree, so let's never discuss it" isn't enough. You have to both be comfortable with that and it can't be something you intentionally avoid like the plague.

Hard task ahead of you, bro. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be in a relationship with the most awesome woman on Earth. Sadly for you, I already married her. But maybe your girl can prove to be the 2nd greatest. It can't hurt to try. Good luck!

All My Hate,
Lord Galen

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