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Soda Taxes? I Fucking Told You So!
May 14, 2009

The following rant is based on the topic of this news story.
Soda Tax Leaves Beverage Industry Flat
By: Keith Whitney
May 14, 2009

ATLANTA -- There is renewed talk in Washington about creating a so-called "soda tax." But companies like Atlanta-based Coca-Cola say it's just a way for Congress to raise money, and that they're already giving consumers, including kids, healthy choices.

The idea behind the tax is to make the beverage industry pay billions of dollars for health care costs associated with high-sugar drinks.

"Sugar sweetened beverages are now the number one source of calories," said Emory G.I. Pediatrician Dr. Miriam Vos. "So this is a huge place where people are maybe getting their excess calories."

And for youngsters critics say the effects are already being seen with early obesity and diabetes.

"My mother never let us have soda when we were young, and since that time we haven't had any soda whatsoever," said Lynette Ponce, "and for my son I'm definitely not going to let him drink soda."

But like many, the Ponce family is divided. While mom and little Aiden don't drink any soda, dad still gets his prescription from Dr. Pepper.

"I drink soda, and I like it," said Javier Ponce. "But I think it's a good idea especially for the younger kids to have them stay away from the sodas."

Coca-Cola carbonates the local economy and stands with the beverage industry, which has taken full-calorie drinks out of most schools. In a statement the American Beverage Association says "Cutting calories in schools reinforces skills for a lifetime. Discriminatory taxes just raise revenues."

Many consumers agree.

"We already get taxed enough," laughed Susan Arnett as she watched her child play. "I don't think it would be a good idea. I mean some people need to lay off of them and some people don't."

But doctors insist they should at least try.

"There are certainly harmful health effects," said Dr. Vos. "So you can see increased weight gain. And there's actually an association with cardio vascular disease risk."

[ Source

I didn't want to open with a blog, but this post from CBS News' blogs is really a better and longer article on the subject.
Senate Considers Federal Tax On Soda
Posted by Brian Montopoli
May 12, 2009

The Senate Finance Committee today is hearing proposals on how to pay for President Obama's proposed universal health care plan, which is expected to cost more than $1 trillion. Among the proposals, as Consumer Affairs reports: A three-cent tax on sodas as well as other sugary drinks, including energy and sports drinks like Gatorade. Diet sodas would be exempt.

"While many factors promote weight gain, soft drinks are the only food or beverage that has been shown to increase the risk of overweight and obesity, which, in turn, increase the risk of diabetes, stroke, and many other health problems," Michael Jacobson of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, which is pushing the idea, said in his testimony. "Soft drinks are nutritionally worthless…[and] are directly related to weight gain, partly because beverages are more conducive to weight gain than solid foods."

According to Jacobson, "Beverage companies market more than 14 billion gallons of calorie-laden soft drinks annually. That is equivalent to about 506 12-oz. servings per year, or 1.4 servings per day, for every man, woman, and child."

He argued that each penny of tax on a 12 ounce drink would raise $1.5 billion annually and lower consumption roughly one percent, improving overall health. The Congressional Budget Office estimates that a three-cent tax would generate $24 billion over the next four years.

Such a tax might well be considered a "sin tax" similar to the taxes levied on cigarettes, which are extremely high compared to most other consumer products. Jacobson also wants the taxes on alcohol raised -- he argues that doing so will "compensate society for the costs of alcohol abuse and alcoholism and to marginally reduce problem drinking." The argument echoes the idea of cigarette taxes helping pay for health care costs associated with smoking.

In his testimony, Jacobson also called for a ban on artificial trans fat and a reduction in sodium levels in food.

Any soda tax a proposal is unlikely to pass easily, as New York Governor David Paterson well knows. Paterson's proposed 18-percent tax on soft drinks died amid pressure from the industry and resistance among New Yorkers who didn't want to pay more for soda.

It would also, it should be noted, only pay for a tiny portion of the health care overhaul.

Susan Neely of the American Beverage Association, which represents Coca-Cola Co., PepsiCo Inc. and others, told the Wall Street Journal that the tax would hit poor Americans hardest and would not lower consumption.

"Taxes are not going to teach our children how to have a healthy lifestyle," she said. Neely said the industry backs programs to lower consumption of sugary drinks in schools.

[ Source ]

Well, well, well... I mean, just, hooooly SHIT. Would ya look at that? It appears that, having gotten away with taxing the motherfucking hell out of personal choice where smokers are concerned, the United States Congress seems to be going after other people's unhealthy vices as well now. Looks like we're gonna be taxing the shit out of sodas because they're "bad for you" and, of course, when something's "bad for you" that means you're an evil irresponsible dickface who should be punished for your bad choices by paying higher taxes.

I'm just completely stunned by this. I mean, WHO the fuck would've ever imagined that once the government was rock-solidly secure in their milking of smokers for every dime they're worth that they might just start punishing the rest of you for YOUR unhealthy habits? Really WHO could've ever seen something like that coming? It's just such a shame that there hasn't been at least one person, say on an awesome ass fucking website, that's been screaming at the top of his lungs that this exact thing right here was going to happen one day....

Oh, fuck, wait a minute, I just remembered something! *I'VE* been saying that exact fucking thing for years now!


Hang on just a second while I take a big fat fucking drag off this menthol............ Mmmm, tastes damn good! Y'know what though? My cigarettes taste different now, after learning about this new soda tax. I mean, it always tastes like nice smooth smokey cool goodness (and cancer, which is there for fucking seasoning), but it somehow tastes different now. I wonder what that extra flavor could be? Lemme just take another big hit off this bitch........ OH, now I know what it is! Today, my cigarettes tastes like SWEET FUCKING POETIC JUSTICE and your bitter asshurt tears! Indeed, I detect the distinct flavor of FUCKING KARMA in there, bitches!

Welcome to the club, motherfuckers! How's it feel to know that the government can declare your harmless little personal vice to be a gigantic ass-reaming danger to all of society and OHMYFUCKINGGOD WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!1!!11! Yes, yes, "it's just a soda! this is crazy!" is about how all us smokers felt about our harmless little smokey-smoke time. And don't think you're being completely left out cuz we got the lovely pseudo-science of "second-hand smoke" and YOU didn't get a kick-ass consolation like that! No, no, my friends, just wait until the guilt-tripping starts laying on thick about how you're "setting a bad example" to your children by drinking sodas! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! It'll be just like "second hand obesity" for all you fucktards! OH GOD IT'S BEAUTIFUL! I'M GONNA CRY!

Now of course I'm pissed about this, don't get me wrong. I'm SO pissed about yet another stupid ass piece of bullshit nanny-state legislation which has the added "bonus" of helping to offset health care costs. Hmmm, wonder where I've heard that one before? Probably in the 90s during all the "big tobacco" lawsuits where people who consciously inhaled smoke into their lungs for 50 years (or their families) suddenly decided that the fucking Marlboro Man must've tied them up and forced all that tar up their ass with a rusty mixing spoon. Oh yes, all that money from those lawsuits and all the money gained from taxes on cigarettes today is *supposed* to be going to fund the NUMEROUS programs to help people quit smoking and to help subsidize the health care industry! Know where all that money ACTUALLY is? Next time you're driving along and you see a smoker flick his cigarette out the window and onto the highway, don't get pissed about it. Cuz we fucking paid for the road you're driving on, cuntcheese. Yup, all that "help smokers quit" money went into buliding and improving roads. I don't know how in the goddamn shitfucking hell that helps me to quit smoking, but I know that I'll throw my butts on public goddamn roadways any fucking time I feel like it since my butts AND MY ASS are paying for them!

So I'm curious to see what all that soda tax money is REALLY going to be used for. Bridge overhauls, maybe? Gas money for police cruisers? A solid gold statue of Barack Obama on the White House lawn? Who the fuck knows?! What I do know is that it won't long be used for fucking medical care.

So yeah, of course I'm pissed off about this. Just like I've always been pissed off about this. Y'know, like how I was pissed when the rest of you hypocritical shit stains were telling me I deserved it for being a smoker and it was my own fault blah blah blah. Remember that? Well, we're in the same boat now cuntface, because you deserve your higher taxes for being a soda drinking lard ass!

"B..b..but it's not fair! Smoking kills people, sodas are just harmless little sweet drinks!" Tsk, tsk, tsk.... how many times have I reminded you fuckers in my own smoking diatribes that almost anything can be deadly and sodas are no exception. Fuck, you can clean rust off of a car bumper with coke (I've done it, you really can) and you put that shit in your body and then have the nerve the think YOU'RE healthy and my pack-a-day ass ISN'T? FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!

"LOL Galen, you're stupid! It's only like a 3 cent tax!" That's true, it IS only a 3 cent tax. In the 1970s, North Carolina's cigarette tax was only two (2) cents and even high taxing states during that time only came it at around 10 cents per pack. The insane taxing always starts somewhere and guess where it's starting with sodas: At 3 cents a can. In 40 years, you could very well be paying close to $5 for a can of coke. Oh, you doubt me? LOL! As this entire rant very clearly shows, you shouldn't do that.

How long now until more unhealthy things get taxed? It was tried with cigarettes and has been a huge success for the government. Now they're taking that precedant (which you assholes all fucking supported) and ramming it right back up your dry little assholes. Feels good, don't it? I really do wonder how long things like red meat and whole milk will remain without a so-called "sin tax" (the very name of which is insulting).

In closing, I'd like to thank all of you. Every single person who's ever told me that I deserve to be taxed to hell. Every single person who's ever told me that I deserve the higher health care premiums that I pay (oh, you don't think that's coming your way too? LOL ok numbnuts). I'd like to give a great big fucking THANK YOU to all of you short-sighted little geniuses who are helping to set in place a future where the awesome tag-team of the government and your doctor can dictate to you exactly what you're allowed to consume and if you don't obey them, they punish you with fines for your disobedience (higher taxes on your unhealthy products). Thanks to all of you who wouldn't know a slippery slope if you fucking fell down one - oops, I guess you kinda just did! Enjoy your slide, motherfuckers, you damn sure deserve it!

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