Rational arguments don't usually work on religious people; otherwise, there would be no religious people.
-Dr. Gregory House
Lord Galen
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Antichrists Everywhere
November 1, 2009


According to a recent poll taken in New Jersey, 1 out of 4 McCain voters believe Barack Obama is the Antichrist. I've heard more than one Republican down here in the south say that as well.

The same thing was said about John F. Kennedy back in the day. The same thing was said of some truly evil men like Hitler and Stalin as well. Still, we have seen no end of days. Y'know why? Because there's no fucking anti-christ, you morons, and if there was, you wouldn't know it.

Here's what blblical scholars have to say about the anti-christ. He'll be from somewhere in Europe (Obama isn't). He'll be hailed as a hero by everyone (Obama isn't, though he came closer than many). He'll be universally loved and seen by everyone as the best fucking thing to ever happen to the world. Any of those things describe Barack Obama?

Here's another little "fun fact" about the Anti-Christ that apparently all you super-educated motherfuckers totally missed. He's due to show up AFTER the rapture of Christ's followers, not before it! So, if Barack Obama (or whoever the next guy is that you call the Anti-Christ) is REALLY the embodiment of Satan himself, then the rapture has already happened and since you're still here to SEE the Anti-Christ, then maybe you're not so fucking holy after all, asshole!

Now, can you fucking hillbillies please just come right out and say what you really mean? We can all hear it, everytime you say "OMG OBAMA IS THE ANTICHRIST!11!!11!" that what you're really saying is "HOLY SHIT, THERE'S A NIGGER IN CHARGE!"

"Galen, are you implying that just because we disagree with Obama that makes us racist! That's stupid!"

No, dickface, what I'm outright stating (not implying) is that because you hate Obama for what are entirely made up bullshit reasons (he's not an American, he's a Muslim, he's the Anti-Christ) that have been disproven over and over again, it's FUCKING OBVIOUS TO ALL OF US WITH A BRAIN that you're really reaching hard for absolutely any retarded excuse to justify disliking the man! So, yes, if you claim to hate Obama for one of the easily-disproven reasons that so many people seem to hate him for, then I most certainly AM saying that it's because you're a fucking racist piece of dog shit.

I really don't get it. Bush lied to the American people to get us into a war that's cost thousands of American lives so far, his administration (with some help from the Democrats, no doubt about that) spear-headed Operation Fuck-Up The Economy, he started torturing people after imprisoning them without a trial, and after all this you assholes still sucked the shit right from his asshole and loved the taste. Obama's done next to nothing at all so far and you fucktards keep making up excuses to hate him! What do you EXPECT me to think?!

This is a common religitard tactic used against anybody that you fucking idiots don't like (for whatever reason) and it really needs to fucking STOP now! There are many different signs in the Bible pointing out ways to exactly spot the Antichrist and the only criteria met by Obama are the same criteria that could be met by many hundreds of thousands of other men all over the world.

But this isn't even neccesarily about Obama. Hitler, evil as he was, met almost none of the criteria for the Anti-Christ. First and foremost, you dickheads, the Antichrist will be someone that everybody will universally LOVE. Nobody fucking loved Hitler and half of you fucking hate Obama! The big AC will seem like a do-right stand-up kinda guy and he'll totally look like he's on God's side. To put it quite simply, if you're standing there screaming "HE'S THE ANTICHRIST!!!!!" then he's not the Antichrist, you twat. If the Antichrist were to walk into your house today, you wouldn't have a goddamn CLUE. That's kind of the POINT.

That's all. Short and sweet. It could've been MUCH shorter (like, 1 paragraph), of course, if I'd just e-slapped you all in the back of the head (like Gibbs on NCIS) and gently reminded you that there is no God, no Satan, NO SUCH THING AS THE FUCKING ANTI-CHRIST, etc. But this way is more fun. Beating you over the head with your own retarded beliefs makes me happy and it makes baby Jesus smile.


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