War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
-George Carlin
Lord Galen
Home  •  Classic Home  •   •  Forum  • 

Archive 2009:           2009 Archive Index           Main Archive Index

The Problem with Politicians
(and my way of fixing it)
By: Matt  |  November 1, 2009

All of our politicians are fucking screw ups. They keep making these boneheaded and retarded decisions. Like the new you get a fine if you don't have health insurance idea. These fines cost almost two thousand dollars. If a person can't afford $600 a month for health insurance, what the hell makes them think that they would be able to afford a two grand fine? I had to ask: Do they even live in the real world? And that's when it hit me:

They don't.

All of our politicians, on every level of government, in both parties are upper class rich people. The closest thing we have to an average person in politics at all is Sarah Palin.... Sarah "I can see Russia from my house" Palin. Sarah "the time for choosin's a comin" Palin. Sarah "Insert your own quote here" fucking Palin! There is a serious problem here.

The problem is that these politicians are so rich when they enter office and they make so much money while they're in office that they're pretty much insulated from any of the effects of the shit that they do. They can raise gas taxes to high heaven because they can afford to pay them. They just tell us little peons to get a better car, drive less, or take the bus. If these assholes lived in the real world, they'd know that you can't always do that. They can sign this cap and tax... Excuse me cap and trade garbage because they can afford the price increases on EVERYTHING that will result. An extra $100 a month is a drop in the bucket to them. Not so for a person struggling to stay juuuuust above the poverty line and feed their family. City Council people can change land codes and require people to spend a lot of time and money remodeling their homes to meet these codes. It doesn't matter. They've got money and hired help for that. The rest of us little people are on our own and we better get it done or the police will come by with a $150 ticket (when they could be fighting crime). State senators can cut education to the bone. THEIR kids are in elite private schools so it doesn't matter. They can sign legislation that kills jobs of average people because THEIR jobs are secure. If they're Democrats, all they have to do is go to a big city and promise people more table scraps from the welfare office. If they're Republicans, they just have to show up at a church and say they'll fight to keep those eeeeeeevil gay people from getting married. Our politicians make so much money that their own tax increases don't even hit them. They just donate that much more to charity or use tax loopholes that the average person doesn't know about.

So what do we do about this? What is the solution? Luckily I have one.

The answer is that the rules for who can hold public office and the rules governing them should be changed. Here are my rule changes.

Rule 1: No one making more than $150K a year can hold public office.

What does a rich person know about struggling to pay for everything they need and paying 50% of their income a year in taxes? Nothing. What does a rich person know about working two jobs and still struggling to pay for college? Nothing. They had a huge trust fund set up by their mommy and daddy for that (see: the Bush family and the Kennedys). If the politicians on both sides of the aisle are any indication, they've never been out in the real world. They all SAY they represent the average man, but they live in mansions. They don't know shit about the average man and therefore they aren't qualified to represent him.

Rule 2: Their income will be capped at $50,000 a year. And that is all they can make. Any extra goes to charity.

We have too many people in public office coming out millionaires even if they fuck up and this allows them to make dumb decisions that they don't face the consequences for because again, they're millionaires. Perhaps if they make about what the average person makes, they'll be more hesitant to raise taxes on us. Before you say their high salary is a deterrent to bribery, I present:

Rule 2B: Any politician that accepts a bribe will be sentenced to death by electrocution along with the person who offered it. Old sparky for the win!

Rule 3: Barring they have a physical or mental defect all their children will be drafted in any wars they vote for.

You want to use our military for some nation building nonsense in the Middle East Senator? Fine but your kids are drafted. This rule officially solves the problem of politicians who treat our military men and women as the world's babysitters.

Rule 4: No private schools.

Your kids will be going to public schools. Now you'll think harder before you sign that budget cut or you sign those reform bills that hurt schools and accomplish nothing. Because now..... They AFFECT YOU!

Rule 5: You must live IN the city you represent.

City council people in big cities have this thing where they stay in gated communities just barely in city limits. Pack up Councilman because under my reform, you'll be living in the projects! You're going to KNOW the people you represent. You're going to deal with the same shit we do every day. You want to represent the people, you're gonna live with em.

Archive 2009:           2009 Archive Index           Main Archive Index