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Libertarians Are Fucking Stupid
By: Eddy  |  August 31, 2009

Y'know, I don't know exactly what it is with this latest ideological fad, all I know is that it has some of the most annoying proponents in the world. From the Teabaggers to the Objectivists, each and every one of them wants to tell you about how Obama's policies will doom America. If only we had elected Ron Paul...

For those who've been living under a rock, libertarianism is the belief that the free market will sort everything out and those who rightfully deserve prosperity will rise to the top. Anyone who knows anything about how the world works can probably tell you that it has about the same chance of working as anarchism.

Basically, it's just another piece of dogma that stupid people cling to because they don't have any problem solving abilities. Where a sensible human being would look at a problem and say, "Well, let me use my prior experiences, knowledge, and reasoning skills to try and cook up a solution." a Libertarian, or any person afflicted by dogmatic belief goes, "Well, despite extenuating circumstances, this is what I believe, and this is what I will do." If one is not brain dead, they will easily recognize the method of problem solving which will lead to an optimal outcome.

You see, ideology is a memetic virus. It spreads from person to person, and once dug in, does not let go. Your average Libertarian will have picked up their beliefs from a few articles, or a book promoting the Libertarian ideology. They will not seek out any literature that criticizes Libertarianism, because their minds are so stuck that they consider the literature of another belief system to be wrong because their own dogmatic view dictates it. It is no better than the "Christians" who hate other belief systems, yet know next to nothing about them. It is xenophobic, and it is stupid.

Basically, Libertarianism is selfishness codified into political dogma. They hate the government giving a helping hand to those less fortunate or providing a service to the public because that means that they will have to pay higher taxes. Yes, they think that taking some of their money to keep a family from starving to death is unethical. Now, anyone who knows how people function knows that these people are middle class, well-educated, and unlikely to ever be in a position where they won't have enough money to live. So basically, there are no homeless Libertarians. And if there are, then they are fucking retarded.

Just for fun, though, let's see what would happen if a totally free-market economy was implemented and government was downsized tremendously. Well, looks like a bunch of poor people in mental hospitals will be turned out into the streets, as they don't have the money to pay. And all those poor AIDS patients are getting turned out into the street. Can you say "AIDS epidemic in America?" I know I can.

Oh, look, the private schools that cost a lot of money and are in upper/middle class neighborhoods are the only good ones, while the ones stuck in the lower class neighborhoods are complete shit. Therefore the lower class gets shafted for a good education and isn't able to improve their situation. And holy shit, look, the good colleges cost more, too. So only the rich kids can get the best educations. Fuck everyone else. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer, and shit just spirals downwards.

Oh, look, the laws governing how businesses are supposed to pay their employees have been repealed. Well, shit, look at that, everyone except the highly educated are getting paid a shit wage that they can't live on. Well, they can organize into a union, right? RIGHT?! Oh, wait, they're getting beaten or killed by hired thugs when they try to organize. And the bosses have put their name on a blacklist that stops them from getting work anywhere else. Oops.

And because the government's been weakened so much, the corporations basically get a free pass on doing all this shit. Regulating agencies are EVIL SOCIALISM, remember? The people can go to another place for their goods and services? That would work if the bosses didn't cooperate to make damn sure that can't happen. If anyone tries getting into the market without buying into the racket, then they'll be quickly muscled out. Protesting against the bad corporations? Enjoy your beatings by hired thugs. Publish it anonymously on the Internet? Watch just how fun astroturfing is. Oh, and I suppose net neutrality would be going down the toilet as well. Yep. The large telecoms corporations get to decide what you can view. Isn't that fun?

So, long story short, Libertarians want to exchange a large, unwieldy, and inefficient government that is controlled directly by the people for a highly efficient bunch of corporations that only care about profit. Yeah, fuck that shit.

Now, I know there are probably a few Libertarians reading this going, "Oh, I'm going to disprove that guy SO HARD." No, you're not. Because neither of our positions is provable. Also, you don't know my history of trolling. I can read you like a fucking book. You're going to come in with a bunch of shit supporting your side, and I'm going to switch to pulling out the Marxist book and it'll just become deadlocked. So don't try it, it's a waste of both of our time, and you know what they say about arguing on the Internet. Remember, "you can justify anything with enough information" goes both ways.

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