Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?
-Ernest Gaines
Lord Galen
Home  •  Classic Home  •   •  Forum  • 

Archive 2009:           2009 Archive Index           Main Archive Index

Dear Christholes and Antitheists - SHUT THE FUCK UP
By: Matt  |  November 1, 2009

At the time of this writing it is Halloween. You know what that means? Tomorrow Christmas shopping starts. No, I cannot say that I know precisely how Christmas went from December 24th-25th to being every day after Halloween. All I know, is that November commences the annual annoyance we call the "War on Christmas."

In case you have been under a rock every November and December for the past twenty some odd years, lucky you if you have, this is the annual ritual when militant right wing Christholes* and militant left wing antitheist assholes get together on national T.V. and accuse each other of persecuting the other group. And by accusing each other of persecuting, I mean getting offended over stupid shit that means absolutely nothing.

Let's consider the Christholes. Every time some store somewhere puts up a sign that says "Happy Holidays" instead of Merry Christmas, they act like one of their own got thrown into a coliseum to face a pack of vicious lions. They stage protests and boycotts. They do interviews with Fox and other news outlets proclaiming how unfair it is that a store dared to say happy holidays or that City Hall decided not to waste money on a nativity scene this year.

Maybe it's me, but there are so many people suffering in America. If I were Jesus, I would be pissed as hell that my followers were bitching about this stupid bullshit rather than helping those in need. So what if someone says happy holidays. Just say happy holidays back and move the fuck on with your life. So what if a city decides not to put a nativity scene up that year. Build your own goddamn nativity scene and put it in your own goddamn yard. There's no separation of church and yard.

But of course, I can't do a rant on the "War on Christmas" without ripping antithesits a brand new asshole. I'm so sick of hearing about some antitheist being offended because some store employee said Merry Christmas. You know what, fuck you. Instead of bitching about it to the manager, just go on with your life. Hearing the words Merry Christmas won't kill you. Also, stop getting bent out of shape when schools hold Christmas plays or do some Christmas carols. Kids like singing (especially when they're on Xbox live playing Halo and pissing me off) and acting. It's just harmless fun. If you're that opposed to Christmas caroling, pull your own kid out of the program rather than trying to impose your values on everyone else like the Christholes do.

(*A Christhole is a person who identifies himself as a Christian and refuses to believe that not everyone agrees with his radical beliefs. See Fred Phelps or Pat Robertson.)

Archive 2009:           2009 Archive Index           Main Archive Index