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Scarlet and Royal
By: Xavier Kadafi  |  January 20, 2008


Xavier here, back for another go at the American public. I recently quit my job and started a new one in the shipping department at a manufacturing company. Actually, I think they don't even make anything, just order and sell sporting goods. Anyways, of course every thing has labels for size, color, etc. My first day, I had to get a red shirt, however the label said scarlet. Why on earth would you call red scarlet? It's fucking red. So, curiously, I asked why it didn't just say red. Ask a dumb question ,get a dumb answer. "Because of the color royal". Wow so we can't use red because of calling something purple royal. Purple is the color of royalty, always has been. Well nope, because later, I'm looking for a fucking purple shirt only to find that royal is blue. What the fuck?!

Anyways, being the smart fucker that I am, I thought about this and figured it out. It's because you're a bunch of morons. If they call a blue shirt royal, they can sell it for $10 more at least. Why? Because you're a bunch of Paris Hilton loving mother fuckers. It sounds more exotic, so you turn into a bleeding idiot. Royal is special, but blue is not. Why the fuck is every last one of you a blubbering moron?!

Women are twice as moronic as men in this one, though. Make-up cons them worse than any damn thing. Shades of eye shadow, blush, lip stick and all of that shit is a scam. Revlon has eight or nine shades of the same color red lipstick. They might be chemically different by one little thing so that they can market them like this, but the human eye can't tell the difference on any one of these fucking shades. They've all got dumb ass names, too. Passion, Candy, Lovers lane. Stupid shit that isn't even a damn color.

Ladies, the only men that are highly critical of the shade of lipstick you wear are gay. Since impressing a faggot gets you all of nowhere in the romance department, quit being morons, PLEASE! There was an episode of Miami Ink on the other night with a man who used to be a woman. When asked if he noticed any difference between being a man and a woman, he said, "I'm more sensible. I think more logically and less emotionally." That makes more proof that women are just dumb. Stop being dumb ladies. The hundreds of dollars you spend on the same color make-up is ridiculous!

Now of course this is all just corporate scams. To be honest, if I ran a corporation, I'd do the same. I'd love to make money off your stupidity. That doesn't make it any better, though!

YOU'RE ALL STUPID FUCKING SHEEP!

Yep, I said it. You're all stupid fucking sheep!

Prime example how average consumers are dumb. Listerine sells plain clear bottles of Listerine to companies like Food Lion, Wal-Mart, etc. They take those bottles, slap the name Food Lion on it and sell it for ~$1 less but you fucking twats still buy Listerine. Why?! Because you're morons.

My favorite thing to see is clothing. Nike probably spends less than a quarter to mass produce one jacket. Including the ten cents a day it takes to pay each Asian child working in a factory. Then, they slap the name Nike on it and you're willing to spend $75-$100 on this fucking jacket. Now of course, half of that goes to being in your T.V> on super bowl Sunday. 10% goes to the guys that say, "Hey, lets call blue royal, red scarlet and black some French bullshit." 15% goes to some asshole so that he can bribe your great republican congressman to keep NAFTA so the little Mexican can make your shirt at a few dollars a day. 10% disappears, CEOs and shit like that don't know where to (their pockets). Then the last 15% goes to the stockholders And you bunch of morons buy into this shit like cattle.

Here's another classic. Pennies, Sears, Khols, etc. are always having half off and clearance sales. A buddy of mine bought a shirt from JCPennies for $15. The other day when we were in the mall, we saw Clearance Sale and were like, well, hell. Maybe they'll have something somebody will want. Walk in there and see this shirt, Clearance, 75% off. $3.75 for a nice new shirt, Hot Damn! That is a hell of a deal. But wait, their chart said it was $20. So at 75% off, it was $20. They racked the price of a damn T-Shirt up to $80 and then claim clearance at 75% off. And people will pay for this shit because they think that they're getting a deal.

How dumb can you get, people? Honestly, corporations scam you every day. They probably have people payed to think of new innovative ways to rip you off. That would be one hell of a job title to put on a resume: 'Scam Artist'. I bet they get paid a buttlaod more, too. I really want that job, now. Getting paid based off of the stupidity of the general public. I bet you'd get a fat salary. Probably a couple hundred million a year.

So Society, I leave you with this question:

Why are you so damn dumb?


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