A terrorist is someone who has a bomb but canít afford an air force.
-William Blum
Lord Galen
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March 31, 2008

Dear Galen

I am writing to you for some unknown reason tonight for I feel I must finally tell someone my terrible (remember, that is a relative term) secret, and I must get my full-fledged ass ramming, make a pirate jealous, wouldn't dare say around your mom, cursing out.

Honestly, I don't feel it's that big of an issue, but I know it's wrong.

I suppose I'd better address the issue before I try and support my reasons why, or pose my questions shouldn't I?

I'm one of those freaks who absolutely adores human pain and suffering, of all sorts, physical, emotional, mental, and any other form of abuse you could attribute to the subject. I realized recently that my favorite form of anguish is the simplistic form of crying. Not myself, but woman. Completely abused and broken down women.

You can find anything on the internet if you know where to look.

However, I'm not solely a sadist, oh no. I'm quite into self-masochism as well. Not cutting like people claim all "emos" to do, but just the random cut here, a burn there, staple myself for a quarter kind of deal. Pain is glory, and the looks on other people's faces when you can take it with a smile is the virtue found within the glory.

So Lord Galen (if I'm deemed worthy enough to call you Lord), I come to you today to yell at me and tell me I'm wrong. I don't know why it's wrong, I just like this sort of stuff. I've not ever beaten a woman personal, well...there is one case where I may have sort of choked a girl, but she was attempting to hurt my girlfriend. But I digress!

I don't cause pain and suffering to those around me, other than emotional. I love to fuck with people's heads, get in close as a friend, then turn around and start tearing away at everything they knew about me and their other friends. Turn everyone against each other and destroy a group of friends all at once.

I day-dream about severely hurting other people and whatnot, but my therapist (uh oh, the boy's crazy...he goes to a shrink) seems to not be bothered by my temperaments. I'm a fairly calm and 'stable' person now, better than what I was a few years ago at least.

Anyways, I sure did go off on a tangent. Why am I so sick and twisted Lord Galen?

Sir Ass-Hattery Man

Dear Asshat,

Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not going to yell at you or tell you what a freak you are. There's nothing wrong with you. What you have are fantasies that society deems "abnormal" or "unacceptable." However, you don't act out on these fantasies. Welcome to being just like hundreds of millions of other people, you twat.

You're in a very unique position with your "sick thoughts" though. Unlike most people who have forbidden desires, you probably can act on yours one day. There's a whole beautiful world of Sado-Masochism out there, just waiting for your to discover it. This isn't like zoophilia, pedophilia, necrophilia, etc. where all you can ever do is dream about the object of your passion and never act on it. No, being a sadist to get your rocks off is totally possible and can (and does) happen all the time among consenting people.

I would suggest looking for some S&M websites and forums to join. They could tell you if what you're feeling is really "normal" for a sadist. They could also help you hook up with others like yourself in your area. You will be helped better by getting support from "your own kind" than by anything I could ever tell you. Go forth, my child, and consult The Great All-Knowing Oracle of the Internets, for it surely has the answers you seek!

Hating you softly,
Lord Galen

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