Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
-Ambrose Bierce
Lord Galen
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Am I Sexist?
September 25, 2008

Dear Galen

You're a man teacher so I thought you could give me a different perspective on my problem. I have a daughter who is in pre-kingergarten this year (4 years old, almost 5). All of her teachers are women and normally the only men she encounters during the day are her dad and maybe the school principal.

I had her enrolled in the "after school" program since I don't get off work until 5:30 and don't want her to be home alone and don't have anybody to watch her. Then I started hearing that when they go in the gym after school, there's a man in there who watches them until their regular after school teachers pick them up. This man supposedly sits down on the floor with them and seems to be pretty affectionate with my daughter. They say she climbs up in his lap and he rarely reprimands her for this. He plays with her and wrestles with the kids and stuff like that.

If he were a guy doing this stuff with his own kid, I'd probably think he was a good father. But he's not. He's a stranger doing these things with MY child! I'm sure you're going to say I'm sexist and that there's not a problem and I'm overreacting or whatever, but I pulled her out of after school so that there won't even be a possibility of something happening. Things happen all the time and you just can't be too careful these days. I was molested when I was about her age and I don't want my daughter going through that same thing. If I have to be sexist then OK. It's not worth the risk.

Not even sure why I'm writing you. I guess I HOPE that you'll tell me I'm being crazy and that I don't have to worry so much. But I can't help it. She's my daughter and I love her and I worry. I just don't want to take a chance of her getting hurt.

Sexist, but maybe justified, parent

Dear Feminazi Whore,

I'm not even sure why the fuck you wrote to me. You seem to have all the fucking answers figured out already. Oh, of course, you just "can't be too careful" blah blah blah.

Here's my question to you: Careful of WHAT???

Just what in the fucking shit do you think is possibly going to happen? That guy is going to start fucking your 4yo in the middle of the school gymnasium? Or, oh I know, maybe he'll take her into a storage room and make everybody promise not to fucking come in there! Just what is it that you think you have to be so "careful" about? Just what the hell is it that you "just never know" about these days? HMMM?!

You're an idiot. It's that simple. A man is fucking NICE to your annoying little brat of a kid and you pretty much hike up your ankle-length dress to take a big steaming shit on him for it. And, believe me, I know. I've had plenty of four year olds (both boys and girls) jump in my lap and use me for a human climbing wall or their own personal goddamn easy chair. Sometimes it's cute. Sometimes it's sweet and endearing. Most of the time, it's a pain in the ass and all I wanna do is tell your dumbshit little kid to get the fuck off me! But after I've patiently and kindly told a 4yo to stay off me for the 50th time and they still come back, what would you have me do? What would you have this terrible evil monster of a man do with your daughter? Should he get angry? Should he use his "mean voice" to tell her that it's not appropriate to show LOVE and AFFECTION to someone she knows and obviously finds enjoyable to be around? See, you call him a "strange man" but that's not what he is to your daughter, dumbshit. He's a nice man who is patient and kind to her when, in reality, your daughter probably gets on his fucking nerves.

Us men can't win for shit in America, I swear! If the man allows your daughter to sit in his lap (just like any female teacher would and you wouldn't have ONE GODDAMN WORD to say about it), he's a fucking suspect. If he doesn't, then he's not kind, patient and nurturing enough to work with children.

Oh, you were molested? Maybe you should go read the rant I wrote in 2004 about people and their stupid fucking emotional baggage. BOO FUCKING HOO! Sorry for you, but what's that got to do with your daughter? Not a goddamn thing, that's what! You're projecting your own fucking issues and seeing demons where none exist.

Now, is it *possible* that this man is a pedophile? Is it *possible* that he dreams about your daughter's little pink hairbow bobbing up and down in a most inappropriate manner? Is it *possible* that he's only there to dry hump her in front of who-the-fuck-knows-how-many witnesses? SURE! YES! IT'S *POSSIBLE* that all of this is the case and much more. But it is also equally possible and far more likely that the poor guy has been assigned to be in there watching those kids, he'd rather be somewhere else doing some productive instead of sitting their babysitting for the After School teachers who should be in there doing their goddamn jobs instead of coming in to find him having to entertain a 4yo who won't stop climbing on him and then reporting back to you, so that you can freak out like the fucking stupid paranoid cunt you are and pull your kid out of the program.

I hate you. I fucking despise people like you, because I've had to put up with stupid fucking assholes like you for the entire time I've been working with kids in any capacity. Being a teacher is hard enough without having to worry about whether or not I should put my arm around a kid who's crying because it might make me look bad in the eyes of some IGNORANT PIECE OF FUCKING TRAILER TRASH like you!

That man is just doing his job. Yeah, sure, MAYBE he's a perv. Maybe I'm a perv. Maybe your mom is a perv, maybe mine is too. You can't live your fucking life afraid of all the evil pedophiles lurking around every goddamn corner waiting to spring out and do a drive-by molestation on your kid.

Send your kid to my class. I'll be just as cold and heartless to her as you want. We'll see if you prefer that to a warm and compassionate teacher, you stupid bitch. I hope you choke on your own fucking ignorance. Actually, no, I hope that man comes to your house and chokes you to death with his dick. Maybe he was just trying to get to you through your daughter. Maybe he actually rapes MOMS and *you* should be worried about yourself! OH SHIT, IS THAT HIM RIGHT BEHIND YOU, FUCK! RUN, BITCH RU-- too late.

If only.....

Hating You Like Bush Hates Education,
Lord Galen

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