I doubt if there are any rational people to whom the word 'fuck' would be particularly diabolical, revolting or totally forbidden
-Kenneth Tynan
Lord Galen
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People I Want To Kill
February 1, 2007

This rant is based on the following news story:
CHATTANOOGA, Tennessee (AP) -- Six girls at a rural high school were charged with homicide conspiracy after their principal found a list of 300 names and officials discovered online postings suggesting they kill people, authorities said Thursday.

School officials said the list, discovered in a classroom trash can, mostly named students and faculty members but also included Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey and the Energizer Bunny.

Sequatchie County High School Principal Tommy Layne said that he initially considered it a joke, but that authorities then found the ninth-graders' online MySpace pages and postings that included the word "kill."

"In general terms, it was like, 'Let's kill these people,' " Dunlap Police Chief Clint Huth said. He declined to provide the specific wording on the posting, which has been removed.

"I am not saying we thwarted a shooting incident or an act of violence," Huth said. "On the other hand, had this gone unchecked, down the road it could have grown into something a whole lot more serious than a list of names."

There was no evidence that the girls had weapons or that an attack had been imminent, Huth said.

The girls, ages 14 and 15, were charged with conspiracy to commit criminal homicide late Wednesday and taken to a juvenile facility. A juvenile court detention hearing was set Friday in Dunlap, about 40 miles northwest of Chattanooga.

Layne said he learned about the list Tuesday when a "young man came in with his grandmother and said his name was on the list."

No club or group was involved, said Layne, who described the girls as friends. The school has more than 600 students.

Sophomore Lakyn Ledford stayed home Thursday after learning that student-athletes were on the list.

"I was very scared. My friends were scared. That's a scary thing. It can really happen," she told WTVC-TV.

[ Source ]

In honor of how fucking retarded this is, I present to you my list of people I would like to kill.

Tom Cruise - He's a significant fucktard and a Scientologist. Plus he's banging Katie Holmes instead of me.

Oprah Winfrey - Fat fucking moron feeding the paranoia and fears of useless lazy fucking housewives everywhere.

The Energizer Bunny - He keeps going and going and going.... UNTIL I PUT A FUCKING BULLET BETWEEN HIS EYES!

Rush Limbaugh - Fat useless conservative moron and a drug addict. Just listen to his show one day! If you find yourself not wanting to kill him, then guess what: You're a fat useless conservative moron too!

Bill O'Reilly - Arrogant prick, plus all the same shit I said about Rush.

Fred Phelps - No explanation needed, just Click here

Pat Robertson - Racist bigoted fucking faggot fake Christian assface.

James Dobson - See Pat Robertson.

Jerry Falwell - See Pat Robertson, James Dobson. Updated 5.15.2007: Nevermind... God beat me to it. Shit!

Mel Gibson - Jew hating fucktard, alchoholic, conservative nutjob, hypocrite, bad actor, bad Catholic, batshit insane, and butt-fucking ugly even though women seem to think he's not.

Wendy Hamilton - Former president of MADD. That's enough of a reason.

The Gecko - Yes, we get it. Geico, Gecko, Geico, Gecko, Geico, Gecko. It was funny for about 1.27 seconds and then became instantly retarded. Now that he's suddenly british, it's both retarded and gay.

Dr. Phil - Bad shrink, ageist asshole, and probably a closet pedophile considering how badly he seems to need to control young people.

John Walsh - He's a fucking asshole who doesn't give a shit about children, really.

Simon Cowell - Being an asshole on TV requires talent. He has none. Plus he's a judge for the most retarded television show to ever air. American Idol makes your IQ drop like the Challenger Space Shuttle.

Randy Jackson - See Simon Cowell

Paula Abdul - Never had talent and is no longer hot. Also See Simon Cowell.

Richard Dawkins - Fucking moron and a hypocrite. Atheism is the ABSENSE of any religious belief, but this moron makes it into a religion all its own. That's called ANTI-Theism, you fucking tard. He should just admit that he hates people who believe differently than himself and is therefore no better than Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, et al.

Shyann McClure (the Welch's Grape Juice girl) - There is no way 40 fucking Concord grapes fit into that glass! DON'T LIE TO ME, BITCH!

Wilford Brimley - Can't fucking pronounce "Diabetes." It's DIE-UH-BE-TEES, you old fart, not DIE-UH-BEET-US. Learn to speak, n00b!

Lars Ulrich - Fucking sell-out. Started the Naptster war. Can shove both drumsticks up his ass. BTW, the last album sucked, you douche bags.

Clay Aiken - Embarrassment to gay people everywhere. Why is he so ashamed of his desperate love of having giant objects inserted into his ass? The gay community should get together and beat him until he's straight cuz he's a fucking traitor to his people. Worse sell-out than Lars Ulrich.

John Edward (the psychic, not the politician) - He is not Haley Joel Osment and therefore does not speak to dead people. Fucking rip-off artist. He should be killed just so all the real dead people can kick his fucking ass for misrepresenting them.

Britney Spears - Fucking cunt.

Paris Hilton - Fucking Slut.

Lindsay Lohan - Fucking cunt AND a fucking slut AND a fucking crack head. Also, is hot and has not sucked my dick.

Rupert Murdoch - Owns MySpace. That's enough reason.

People who e-mail me to debate my rants - If I could send AIDS to you through e-mail, I would. Would also send colon cancer because it's only fitting that a puffed-up asshole should get a puffed up asshole.

Everyone in Chattanooga, Tennessee - That's where the news article came from. You all suck even harder than you used to. Congratulations. I'MMA DROP SOME "NUKULAR" BOMBS ON YOU, BITCHES!

And there's a plethora of other people that belong on this list, but I'm tired of writing now. I've named plenty of people who deserve to die in my rants.

Oh yeah, and thanks to SciVille from my forum for giving me some names over AIM. We've now "conspired." I invite the redneck fucks in Chattanooga to charge me.

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