But I'm not here today to talk about how the media fucks up (well, not mainly). Today's topic is all about how the government and parents fuck up when it comes to teaching kids about sex.
Note the title of this rant. It's a fucking fact. So-called "Abstinance Only" sex education amounts to nothing more than Ignorance Only sex indoctrination. Notice the lack of wiggle-room words in that last sentence. I didn't say that Abstinance Only programs are "virtually" instilling ignorance, nor did I say that they're "practically" or "basically" instilling ignorance. No, I don't need fucking wiggle room on this one, you motherfuckers! Abstinance Only sex education programs are literally and absolutely designed to train America's youth to be ignorant of sexual matters!
First of all, let me slap down the detractors right from the start. Abstaining from sex *IS* most definately the only 100% fool proof way to prevent pregnancy or contracting STDs. Everyone with a fucking ounce of common sense already knows this. Ask a retarded 5 year old, "Hey kid, if somebody sticks a dick in your ass, there's a chance you might get a disease. What do you think is probably the best way to not get a disease like that?" and the kid'll say "Uh... don't put a dick in your ass?" DING DING DING! We have a fucking winner! See, it's not about that, you puritan assholes! You don't even have to learn that, it's already common sense!
So what's my problem with Abstinance Only programs, then? Simple. While not doing the horizontal mambo is the only *definate* way to keep the nasties away, it's not the only way to keep the nasties away. The only 100% way, yes, but not the only game in town.
Now, logic dictates that a person should always go with the 100% chance over the 99% chance. However, people are not logical when it comes to a lot of things and there's a few particular areas where the logic centers of the brain gets beat down by some other parts. The main area in which this happens is when someone's life is at stake. If you're walking along in the forest and a bear jumps out and charges you, the logical thing to do is play dead like they tell you to in all those nature shows on TV. But do most people do this? Nope. Most people's logic turns right the fuck off and the "fight or flight response" kicks in. Now, neither of those choices is logical. A human being can't expect to win in a fight with a bear, nor can a human being expect to outrun a bear. Nevertheless, most people will attempt one or the other when put in that situation.
Why? Because it is the strongest human instinct that reaches down to the very core of our being and, in most cases, is more powerful than our reasoning mind! Survivors of animal attacks invariably report that they "don't think clearly" when in that situation. Of course not, because at that point, pure instinct takes over to keep you alive by even the stupidest means neccesary (like fighting back against a bear).
You may be asking yourself, "What the fuck does this have to do with sex education?" Here's your answer. As powerful as the human instinct to survive is - so powerful it'll make you go apeshit on a bear - there is another very powerful human instinct that is not far behind the will to survive. The second most powerful instinct in human nature (and not 2nd by much) is the instinct to have sex! And like the will to survive, the human sex drive doesn't fucking care about logic or reason! As I said, the reasonable choice to protect yourself from pregnancy or STDs is *always* abstinance, because it has the highest rate of success (100%). Well, shit, playing dead with a bear has the highest rate of success too, but that's not what most people do, now is it?! No, and it's because of human instinct!
See, the problem with "Abstinance Only" education is that it is an attempt to teach a group of people (teenagers) who have a particularly high sex drive (and therefore a particularly strong instinct to fuck) that they should use their brains, think about the consequences of their actions, and not have sex until they're married. You fucking morons, you can't out-teach the 2nd most powrful human instinct! No matter what they learn, no matter what they know, no matter how much sense it makes, no matter how logical it is, no matter what you tell them, NOTHING will ever stop human beings (of any age) from having sex!
Here on this website, I host a copy of the report Trends in Premarital Sex in the United States, 1954–2003 by Dr. Lawrence B. Finer, PhD. When you have a little time, it's definately worth a read (hence the reason it's hosted here). For now, here's the short and sweet version (the conclusion reached by this study):
Almost all Americans have sex before marrying. These findings argue for education and interventions that provide the skills and information people need to protect themselves from unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases once they become sexually active, regardless of marital status.
Hang on, let's make that even simpler for the fucking idiots who're reading this:
Almost all Americans have sex before marrying
Still not getting it? Here, assface:
"Almost all Americans have sex before marrying" YOU STUPID FUCK!
But then, of course, you'll just think to yourself "that doesn't matter." No, you don't care what the vast majority of people do, it won't be your child. That about right? Riiight, of course, that's how all you idiots think. The odds are against you, but you still play them.
Let me put it to you this way. By age 20, 75% of people have had premarital sex. If we were betting on that, it's 3 to 1 odds. Now, imagine it's the Superbowl. You've got $5,000 to bet with and your bookie tells you there's 3 to 1 odds that your team will lose. Even if you're the biggest fucking fan in the world, do you place that bet? C'mon motherfucker, give yourself an honest answer. Would you bet money against three-to-one odds? WOULD YOU? Here, asshole, I have a custom made revolver with 4 chambers instead of 6. I've just loaded 3 of the chambers and left 1 empty. Now put it to your head. Will you pull the trigger? Will you risk your life on 3 to 1 odds, you stupid cunt?
The answer is NO. You wouldn't risk your money nor your life on 3 to 1 odds! But HERE is what you WILL do. The odds that your child will have sex, no matter what you teach them, are 3 to 1. Instead of teaching them how to be as safe as they can possibly be when they have sex, YOU'RE such a fuckin' genius that you make the 3-to-1 bet that they won't have sex and you DON'T TEACH THEM SHIT!
So, here's what a great fucking parent you are. You won't risk money against 3 to 1 odds, you won't risk your life against 3 to 1 odds, but you will risk your child's health and possibly their LIFE against 3 to 1 odds!
You stupid motherfucker, they WILL have sex! It is going to happen! Three to one odds that they WILL have sex before they're married! Seventy-five percent chance that your son or daughter is getting fucked before they get married, in SPITE of Abstinance Only education, in spite of your church teachings, in spite of what Jesus tells them, in spite of they're little "promise ring" thing they did at the youth group (around 90% of those kids break the promise, dumbfuck).
This is a FACT. Your religion, your sex "education" (you can't really call it that), NOTHING can dispute that fact! And you're a bad fucking parent for allowing them to live in this world with no knowledge of how to protect themselves from pregnancy and STDs.
This is what people support. This is what the fucking government is shoving down our throats. They tell our children that "abstinance is the expected standard" but it ISN'T. They are spending millions and millions of dollars to intentionally LIE to your kids and teach them to play against those very dangerous odds! It is UNACCEPTABLE by any standard!
And where does this all come from? Why is the government spending millions training young people to get sexually transmitted diseases? Oh yes, that IS exaclty what they're doing! Why do hundreds of millions of parents not only allow this to be done to their children, but wholeheartedly support it and even teach it themselves? Why? The answer is simple and disgusting: Religon.
There is one and only one source for the concept of "no sex before marriage" and that is religion. Hey, you wanna believe that, it's perfectly fine with me. You wanna teach that to your children, I can't stop you. But here's where the problem comes in. Religious ideals are not supposed to be taught in government schools. Religious ideals are damn sure not supposed to recieve millions of dollars in taxpayer funding. Religious ideals should, for goddamn sure, not be used by our fucking government to train children in the fine art of "just don't do it and everything'll be ok" against all odds!
Ladies and gentlemen, my kids will most certainly learn all about sex. By the time puberty hits, it is MY "expected standard" that my kids should know what a fucking condom is and how to use one! My sons and daughters will be told directly from me that if they need a condom, just fucking tell me. Yes, I'll buy my children condoms, no matter their age! You think that's crazy? You think that's irresponsible? Well, FUCK YOU! I think it's crazy and incredibly irresponsible - hell UNBELIEVABLY irresponsible - to let your children go unprotected when you KNOW that they WILL have sex no matter what you say, do, or teach, you stupid fucking cocksucking IDIOTS!!!
Bottom line: Fuck your religion, fuck your beliefs, fuck abstinance only sex ed, fuck anything that puts your children in danger! Mainly, that's you. So yeah, fuck you too!