The will of the people is the only legitimate foundation of any government, and to protect its free expression should be our first object.
-Thomas Jefferson
Lord Galen
Home  •  Classic Home  •   •  Forum  • 

Archive 2007:           2007 Archive Index           Main Archive Index

ATTENTION: Everyone Who Sends Me Hatemail
February 25, 2007

I must be getting really fucking popular or something. I used to get one or two hatemails a week, but lately it's every fucking day people are sending me stupid shit. The problem is that it's like they all share the same brain. So, from now on, I'd like to just be able to refer people to this rant so that I don't have to bother responding (not that I respond anyway). Still, it annoys me to think that when these nuggets of stupidity don't get a response, they're probably sitting there all smug thinking that they just totally owned my ass with whatever bullshit they sent. When, in reality, the fact is that their e-mail wasn't worth responding to. So since they're such losers and need a response, here it is.

First of all, you losers, the contact form on this site is not a "send me your stupid debate" form. I have a forum and the whole reason it's there is for people like you to sign up and post about my shit. If you don't like what I wrote, go on the forum. If it pissed you off, go post on the forum. If you think I'm a horrible stupid asshole, GO POST IT ON THE FUCKING FORUM! I want everyone to see your retarded thoughts, not just me. Hey, I put my opinion out there for everyone to see and if you wanna respond to it, then you can do the same. The contact form isn't a medium for you to debate me. I do not debate over e-mail. I have better shit to do.

The number one problem I see with your retarded hatemail is that you morons never seem to read an entire rant. It almost never fails that if you're sending me hatemail or other criticism, you probably didn't read the whole fucking rant. A perfect example is the John Walsh rant. Every single complaint I get about that rant is that I'm "picking on" a guy whose son was killed. Me "picking on" Walsh makes up a whole 2% of the rant and is so completely not even the fucking point. The trouble is that idiots read the first 3 short paragraphs and then immediately go to the contact page to bitch about it. Hey, genius, try reading the whole fucking thing just one time.

The next problem with hatemail is all of your dubious facts. Now, before I write a rant about something, I almost always spend hours researching the topic to make sure I've got my facts right. You sending me "that's not what happened, THIS is what happened!" just makes you look like a dumbass. Look, I know you think that because you read an article in Women's Health about some topic that it makes you an expert. I understand that, but you should know that your casual "what everybody knows" information doesn't hold a goddamn candle to the research I've put into my topic. If it's on this site, it's CORRECT! In the 3+ years of running this site, I've recieved a lot of corrections to my rants. They've all been wrong. And more often than not, you sending me something stupid is just gonna end up with me making fun of you on the front page of the site because you're a retard.

Another frequent problem is the constant attacks against my intelligence. "You're such a fucking idiot! I bet you feel stupid now that I just showed you up for what a dumbass/liar/whatever you are!" This is ample evidence that you have not read much of this site beyond the 2 or 3 paragraphs that it took to piss you off. If you had read some of the site, you would know that Lord Galen is an arrogant, concieted, heartless asshole with a god complex. You calling me "stupid" means the same thing to me as if you'd called the ocean "dry." It registers as a complete absurdity without any possibility of being true. So, don't waste your time.

Before closing out this little public advisory, let's go over how the course of things are probably going to work with your hatemail. If you're at least mildly intelligent, this is how it'll go:

Step 1. You send me hatemail.

Step 2. I send a reply that consists of nothing but a link to this rant.

Step 3. You think "damnit... fucking asshole..." and move on with your life knowing that I'm not going to indulge you any further.

Now, that's how it works if you're a part of the minority if people who are NOT stupid. This is unlikely to happen since, if you were not a complete douchetard, you wouldn't have sent me hatemail in the first place. Here's how it will most likely go:

Step 1. You send me hatemail.

Step 2. I send a reply that consists of nothing but a link to this rant.

Step 3. You send another reply arguing not only your original point (again), but also arguing with this rant and with the fact that I didn't take the time to write out all of this bullshit to you personally.

Step 4. I add your e-mail address to my server's mail filters so that any e-mail from you gets blackholed and I never even know it existed, because I don't have time nor the desire to play your stupid game. I already know I'm right and now I know that you're too fucking unevolved to ever realize it.

Step 5. You assume that because I never answered you it's because you're totally right and I feel too stupid and embarrassed to reply to you so I'm just ignoring you. You probably send another e-mail stating exactly this, but I never get it because it gets nuked before ever reaching me because I don't want do deal with your Speacial-Ed bullshit anymore.

Step 6. Now that you're convinced that I'll never reply to you, you go on with your life secure in the belief that you totally delivered a verbal ass kicking to me. You might tell all your friends something like "I sure showed up that asshole!"

Step 7. I go on with my life not giving a shit what you think.

Whichever process you choose to follow, just know that the ending is always the same: I win, you lose. Granted, with the 2nd set of events you get to have the illusion of victory. This is probably why most people choose that path. I won't begrudge you that, although I do fucking hate having to spend 5 seconds banning your e-mail address.

And this has been my response to whatever you sent me. If your specific complaint, problem, or smart ass question wasn't addressed by this rant, I don't fucking care.

Archive 2007:           2007 Archive Index           Main Archive Index