A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
-Nietzsche
Lord Galen
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Dog Shit, TV, and the Nanny State
By: Rebelnerd  |  April 10, 2007


I was taking my dog for a walk the other day, it had been cold the last few days and like the lazy asshole I am I hadn't walked him in a while. So I decided to take him on the long path that goes through the woods behind the row of houses on the other side of the street. It's a nice path, built because of the water pipe underneath.

So, I was about halfway down the trail when my dog starts squatting and hobbling around, and I realize he's about to take a dump. I wait for it, and sure enough he lays a nice, big, juicy one right on the side of the path. Do I pick it up using a pathetically thin plastic bag, carry it at my side the whole rest of the way, then throw it out once I get home? Hell no. I am not going near that thing. But sure enough, the minute someone sees this they practically have a seizure and start yelling that someone might step in it.

My answer to these people is this: Shut the hell up and watch where you're fucking walking. If you see a huge, brown, wet, steaming pile of dog shit up ahead, then DON'T FUCKING STEP IN IT! Sure, if the pile's on your own lawn then fine, get pissed. I'd be too. But if you're walking through a forest or street you don't own, why should other people have to go out of their way to make sure you don't step in shit? Why don't you just show some goddamn personal responsability instead of expecting everyone to just automatically prepare for your arrival? The world is not your babysitter. Get over it.

And that right there, is the problem with this country and this world. People have this weird idea that it's everyone else's responsability to help them with everything, to always make their lives easier even if it means causing themselves trouble. They think they can just move through life, doing whatever they want, and all the rest of the world should just take care of their needs along the way. The other day my sister had just finished watching some retarded little cartoon on whatever stupid kid show she felt like that day, and immediately turned to mom and asked, "I'm bored. What can I do?"

Here's a new idea: FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOURSELF! If you don't want bad things to happen to you, then instead of expecting everyone to make sure you're always safe and happy, why don't you just stop being an idiot? Look, I'm not saying that everyone needs to be a cold, self-centered island who never helps anyone. But come on, self-reliance is NOT a bad thing.

Last summer we were in Thousand Islands, just past the US/Canada border. There was this awesome thing there, a sort of tower that was forty stories high and you could lean out over the edge and see all the islands at once. It was sweet, but you know what? If that thing had been just a mile south, there would have been double layers of glass on every window, waivers to sign at the door, steel bars, nets, and ropes. But in Canada the only thing keeping people from falling over the side was their own common sense. And apparently that was enough, because nobody had ever fallen over. Why is it that in America we can't just use our heads and insist on relying on others to make sure nothing in the world can harm us?

But the real problem is when this gets projected into politics. The sheep/people of the nation still insist on depending on others instead of themselves, and what particular group of "others" is so conveniantly ready to provide for them? You guessed it: the State. Yes, our good ol' friends in D.C. have their work cut out for them. A country full of people who have trained themselves to be incapable of protecting or providing for themselves. A country of people who run screaming to Uncle Sam for protection every time a car crashes, virus gets out, or an enemy threatens them.

And here's another question: What happens when you start becoming dependent on somebody? It doesn't take a genius to figure this one out: you end up losing your freedom to that person. And why should that make you any safer? What makes you think the guy watching the screen linked to that surveillance camera is any more trustworthy than the guy who mugs you in the Wal-Mart parking lot? When people are this willing to trade freedom for security, we end up with the PATRIOT act. Frivolous lawsuits. The erosion of privacy. And eventually, the goddamn Third Reich.

People, wake up. If you've got a problem, how about trying to solve it yourself before you start your pussy whining and crying? If automobile accident deaths are up, then drive more carefully instead of asking for more cops on the road. If you're getting robbed on the way to work, get yourself a weapon instead of voting to install cameras everywhere. If you don't know something, do some research instead of surrendering your education to government-controlled schools. If you see a cliff, just don't go near it instead of demanding signs and fences. And if you see some dog shit, just step out of the way. There's nothing wrong with needing help every now and then, but you people seriously need to get some goddamn independence before it's too late.


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