My first response was to just send back "Yawn" and forget about it, but I dunno... Something about your e-mail struck me and I thought "Hey, it's been a while since I've publicly degraded some idiot for e-mailing me with his half-baked theories about me. It could make a decent Dear Galen." So, here we go....
Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for everyone's favorite game.... *crowd yells in unison* POINT-BY-POINT REBUTTAL!!!
Obviously, from the the "theme song" you've chosen to adopt, you think you're are some kind of brave freedom fighter; you are wrong.
Well, let's see. I am a dedicated civil rights activist and active staff member of a non-profit civil rights organization. What do people who work for civil rights groups do again? Oh yeah, they FIGHT for FREEDOM.
Punk ass bitch, I'm a brave ass motherfuckin' freedom fighter in ways even my audience doesn't know about. Shut yo goddamn ass up!
You are simply a wanker with webspace who dedicates hours of each day, browsing the internet for obscenely stupid things to critisize for being obscenely stupid.
Amount of time I spend actively looking for obscenely stupid things (online or elsewhere): 0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds.
I don't NEED to spend ANY time "looking" for obscene stupidity. It's as abundant in the universe as hydrogen. You can't move a single inch anywhere you go (online or IRL) without it slapping you in the fucking face. Everytime I think that I've surely seen the most stupid things that people are capable of, something even fucking dumber springs up and punches me in the balls. Nobody has to LOOK for anything obscenely stupid - welcome to the human race.
No you are not better then everyone because you find the lowest common denominator and realize you are slightly smarter then them.
Now here's where you really grabbed my attention. How the fuck can you live here on planet Earth and think that I'm picking out the lowest common denominator? I hate to burst these naive little notions you seem to have but people are stupid
. That's the rule, not the exception. People like ME are the fucking exception. You seem to be a reasonably intelligent person. Better than the median average at least, but you're still a stack of retarded inbred bricks compared to me. I say this because, using your IP address, I checked my logs and tracked your movement through my site. You read like 4 or 5 things here, most of them Guest Rants (which aren't written by me, you goddamn ape) and then proceeded to pass judgement. That makes you a fucking tool. When I speak about something, it's because I damn well know what the fuck I'm talking about. When I speak, you should clamp that gaping hole in your face shut and listen the fuck up. When you speak, on the other hand, someone should slap you with a hot spatula.
Just because you are not the worst doesn't mean you are the best.
Who said I was "the best?" Not I. I have simply stated the truth that, when compared to the rest of humanity, I am a god. There are most certainly other demigods such as myself out there. I can think of at least one that I know... maybe two. People on my level are extremely rare. It would do you well to shut the fuck up and pay attention instead of letting your petty human arrogance and jealousy prompt you into writing e-mails wherein you try to bring me down to your greasy little level. I'm better than you, just fucking accept that.
I actually agree with you in some of your rants
Who gives a shit? I don't fucking care if I have 1 reader or 10 million and I DON'T give a rat's ass in hell if I have 10 million who fucking hate me and disagree with every word I say. This site is here mostly for my own benefit. The purpose of it, for other people, is to make you THINK. Agree with me, disagree, hate me, love me, whatever, as long as the wheels in your tiny little head are turned by something I wrote then I've accomplished something. It is clear to me that you reacted with your pathetic little base emotions instead of reasoned thought. You fail. Go stock some shelves, loser.
...but you still manage to be a raging dickhead even when you're right.
And your point is....? I don't owe fucking stupid ass idiots one damn thing! You got that?! I don't owe you or anyone else any "kindness" or "understanding" or "politeness" or whatever else your sissy ass little emo kindergarten teacher told you about how "nice people" should be. The world is a mean place and mean people are abundant. I'm mean to people who deserve it - I'm mean for a REASON - which is more than 99% of the assholes out there can say.
And I know you think you are above being cool. Bullshit. Besides hermits, everyone is concerned with being cool.
Thank you ever so much for proving to me with absolute certainty just what a half-wit you truly are. The fact that you are incapable of even concieving that anyone could possibly
not fucking care about being "cool" is both damning to your character and, frankly, so fucking pathetic that it almost
makes me want to fucking cry. Beyond even being angry at you for being an idiot (which is the status quo), I genuinely and truly feel so fucking sorry for you. I pity you. But really, pity doesn't make me go all mushy inside like it does most people - not where idiots like you are concerned. I find you and this statement of yours so mind-blowingly disgusting and pathetic
that I feel like blowing my fucking dinner all over the keyboard.
Seriously. You care so damn much what other people think of you that you can't even comprehend how it could be possible for someone to NOT care. You disgust me, you fucking maggot.
Maybe you don't care about what's cool in the larger world but certainly you care about what is cool in your niche of it.
If by "my niche of it" you're referring to the inside of my own head and what *I*
define as "cool" then sure, you're absolutely right. Otherwise, I still feel like puking.
Which is why you act so angry. That is what is cool with the audience you appeal to and probably the people you associate with in internet chat rooms....
If you can tear yourself away from playing "E-Therapist" for just a minute, I'll be happy to explain to you why I'm so angry.
Imagine what it would be like for you to live in the dark ages. Imagine watching every day as women are tortured, forced into confessing to witchcraft, and then burned alive for their "crimes." Imagine watching as The Powers That Be proclaim the Earth to be flat and the center of the universe and anyone who dares dispute them, no matter how reasonable their argument, is labeled an insane heretic. Imagine you, a century of the 21st century, knowing better about almost everything than almost anyone else on the planet. Now imagine that the vast majority of the ignorant assholes living in the dark ages with you are so convinced of their utter superiority and their great "grasp of the universe" that they don't even have the mental capacity to give a shit when you tell them WHY they're wrong.
You try living in a world like that and SEE HOW MOTHER FUCKING CALM YOU STAY, ASSHOLE! I have a gift. The gift of being able to see the "big picture" in a way that the vast majority of people simply can't even concieve of. I'm sitting here on my pitiful little website, screaming at the top of my lungs that the world is fucking ROUND while idiots like you sit back, content that I'm just nuts and the world is as flat as it ever was.
INFERIOR TO ME, you cunt! You - and most other people - are just too fucking retarded to know it.
And there are additional reasons, my man. Reasons that even I won't get into publicy (at this time). But, believe me when I say that I have EVERY good reason to look down on you and your kind and I have every good reason to fucking loathe
the current dominant society ("western thinking"). You, and every other human being who is so willfully ignorant, absolutely DESERVE the shithole of a "culture" you've created for yourselves. But I don't. So don't fucking sit there and pretend to know what makes me angry, you cocksucking bastard. YOU! HAVE! NO! FUCKING! CLUE!
Oh, and by the way, I'm sure my readers certainly appreciate that little snipe at them that you just took. It's bad enough that you have the balls to poke your head up out of your mom's basement to make an E-Frued diagnosis of me, but how 'bout you let ME be the one to insult my audience. At least they expect it from me and at least it's somewhat entertaining when I do it. From you it's just.... well... just insults from some fucking nobody. Meh, I guess they won't care then. Nevermind.
...because real life simply doesn't have the respect for you that the internet "community" does.
I have respect from the people in my REAL life that matter. The rest of you can quietly cut your own goddamn throats and send me pictures, for all I fucking care. I neither need nor WANT this society's "respect." In fact, I have worked very hard to distance myself from the horribly OBSCENE things that make someone "respectful" in western civilization. You can fucking keep it, jackass.
Seriously, it's never too late to realize how badly your life is going and change it. I'd suggest you do that.
Frankly, despite how angry I am at the world and at most of its inhabitants, I am actually quite happy with my life and how it's going. It could be better, sure, but so could everyone's. I have a home, a wife who loves me, a little girl who loves me, and friends who at least give 2 shits and are fun to hang with. My life is great. Yours, on the other hand, is pointless. You're a waste of good oxygen.
In conclusion, I'd like to say that, next time you feel like sending a letter like this, maybe you should try sending it to some emo fag whore on LiveJournal who will actually give a flying fuck in the dark what you think of them. Your opinion means nothing -hell, LESS than nothing - to me. The only reason you're even graced with a response is because this'll probably make good reading for my audience (y'know, the ones that you seem to think so little of?). Oh, and I'd like to add that you're not getting anything special here. I know, I know, you're just seal-clapping like a retard going "hur hur, I made Lord Galen pissed! pwn3d!" Sorry to disappoint (not really), but everything said in this reply has been said at least 2 or 3 times before elsewhere on this site. I just thought it would be fun to condense it all into one easy point of reference. And, uh, in case you missed it, that's the only reason your e-mail isn't in e-mail Heaven right now asking E-Jesus why it had to die so young.
You lose. Now, put your laptop down and get back to work. Someone's at the drive-thru and they DO want fries with that.