History always punishes conservatives, not because conservatives are bad or wrong, but because they are, by definition, stuck. If you're standing still while the world is moving, you're going to get left behind.
-Kristi Harrison, Cracked.com
Lord Galen
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Frustrated With Idiots
January 11, 2007

Dear Galen

So... I've been in my Senior English class for almost a whole semester. In the past year, I've had no real rants, nothing good's come out of me in a long time. Life's rather dull when you hang your head low, let the music take you away, and hide from reality. Anyways, I've finally met somebody that I want to choke the fuck out of, so I'm here, bitching to you; so I don't make this bitch get her jaw wired shut. For my english paper, I did the drinking age, and of course, we did some bullshit peer editing. Do you understand how stupid that shit is? It's like, hi, you're good in the class, so I'm going to let retarded Joe grade your paper so you can grade his and spend the entire period making corrections and suggestions to make his paper better. Now, at the end of this great period, you've helped Joe go from a failing grade to an A, yay for Joe. What did Joe do for you. He spent the entire period staring at your paper going, durrr... these words are too big.

Anyways, my paper was given to Miss Stupid Ass of the year to check over. Miss Stupid Ass said that I used too big of words and that my paper was too hard to understand, but she didn't agree with my paper on lowering the drinking age (there was no age said in the paper, but it was lowering, not abolishing) because she didn't want her 6 year old little brother to go out and get drunk. I noticed you just did a rant on this, kudos. Anyways, that shit pissed me off... I wanted to smack Miss Stupid Ass for being fucking thick and retarded. This was a while ago, but a little background's always helpful, right?

So, this brings me to today; Today, we had a class discussion on the book Smack (titled Junk in all other countries besides the U.S.) by Melvin Burgess. For a little more background, Smack is about a boy, Tar, who runs away from his home in Minely, England because of his abusive father to Bristol. In Bristol, Tar finds himself a squat to live in with a couple of anarchists that took care of him and did some pretty crazy political shit (gluing bank locks shut, for example). Now, of course, there's got to be a love interest for Tar. Tar's love starts off being a girl from his home town Minely, whos hame so happens to be Gemma. Now Gemma's parents are overly strict and ridiculous. Her father literally picks her up from her class room at the end of the day. Eventually, Gemma runs away to Tar, and they both leave the anarchists to live with their junkie friends and they all get addicted to heroin so bad that it destroys them. The characters, Tar and Gemma as well as their junkie friends, start at 14, and by the end of the novel are 18. Gemma and the female friends of theirs that're junkies all get into prostitution and all of this crazy shit like that. Anyways, the book really brings into light how fucked up you can get from shit like heroin. It's a good read, and pretty interesting.

Anyways, back to the point of the Dear Galen. We had this discussion and it comes up to their age (of course, I was wide awake and all over this). I said that we as a society don't want to accept that people this young are doing this, we still want them to be little kids, but that's far from the truth. Before the 1900s in the USA, it was typical for a woman to be married by 14, and human nature hasn't changed, we've just wanted to keep 'our children' children longer. I also noted that 12, 13, 14, etc. are Jr. High / High School age groups and like it or not, these kids are in the same environment as we are as Seniors and not much younger than we are. This bitch had nothing to add to the conversation or the discussion for the class the entire day but stupid little comments. like the one she made at the end of my little thing.. "Yeah, but they're only 14, that's just wrong."

... I wanted to just get up and fucking knock the bitch out. Of course, on a class discussion, we couldn't get into a debate and the teacher quickly changed the subject. She's young (and pretty hot, too) so it's very hard to soap box her because she's onto my little games. Fuckin' bitch.. Anyways, I just gave rhyme, reason, logic, and said to think. What does this bitch do? Yeah, but they're 14.. that's just wrong.. OKAY?! WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?! So.. back to our class discussion. We get later into Gemma's Nazi parents and asking who felt that they were reasonable / unreasonable. Being me myself and I, I had to say that they were completely unreasonable; like it or not, but by 14, you're your own person and you're going to do as you please / what you want. Parents should be their to guide and teach not control. push push, snap kinda shit theories and all of that. A vast majority of the class agreed with me. ... In chimes this stupid bitch. "Yeah, but they're 14, your parents have to be like that when you're young like that."... Once again, I had an urge to knock her fucking teeth in; so my Dear Galen dilemma is this:

Dealing with retards on the internet is rather simple, you close the web browser and you're done. It's over. You're way too far away to actually kick somebody's ass for being retarded. You don't have to deal with them again, maybe you'll sign onto a forum and post.. DUDE YOU'RE FUCKING THICK AND RETARDED. and then leave. You know, those classic one liner posts after these people throw back paragraphs at you that try to justify their statements even though their justification is just horse shit justifying horse shit. In real life, you've got a living breathing dumbass right in front of you, and you can just smack the fuck out of them for being stupid. How do you propose I keep myself from doing so? I can't soap box the teacher with a debate on issues like that, she's too slick, so I don't get a rebuttle. I don't even get a ARE YOU RETARDED?! So I just get to sit there and stare at the bitch and think...god damn, if we weren't in school, I'd smack you so fucking hard you might stop being retarded. Any suggestions, advice on dealing with shit like this? Maybe, being more calm? How the fuck do you deal with retarded people like this besides bitching about it on the internet?

Frustrated With Idiots

Dear Frustrated,

Jeee-hee-hee-hee-heeee-eeee-SUS fucking Christ, you sure went a long way to make such a short point. You touch that up a little bit and it'll make a decent Guest Rant. Shit, all that backstory just to reach the conclusion that (dum-da-dum!) PEOPLE ARE STUPID!

So, how, you ask, does the great Lord Galen deal with stupid people in real life? Mostly, I ignore them. What you need to understand is that all men are NOT created equal. Now, I don't mean superficial bullshit like gender or race or whatever. I'm referring to the only criteria for judging another person that truly matters: Intelligence.

This raging cunt sore that you talk about is apparently of much lesser intelligence than yourself. So, why lend credibility to her slack-jawed "opinions" by doing anything more than laughing at her? If you respond, you're sending the message that (1) you care what she thinks and (2) her opinion is worth your time. Sure, I respond to stupid people all the time here, but this is "teh internets." Online, fucking with stupid people is considered an olympic sport. But in real life, stupid people deserve only one thing: Your absolute scorn and most demeaning outlook.

When she starts rattling off her lame ass worthless opinions, you needn't respond. Why bother? Just laugh. Laugh right in her fucking face like she just told the funniest fucking joke you ever heard. When she asks "What's so funny?" you should respond in a nonchalant manner with some clever put-down. For example: "Oh, nothing. It's just that listening to you explaining [whatever subject she's talking about] is like listening to a toddler explain quantum physics." Or maybe: "Nothing, your opinion's just cute, that's all. Like watching a retard get pissed when you tell him that a red-light doesn't mean go."

Stupid people are the bane of all existance. Fight them, absolutely, but don't waste your time arguing with them in real life. Once you know for a fact that someone is an idiot, then why bother? What will you accomplish? You're not going to change her mind on anything because she's too stupid to grasp what you're talking about.

Sometimes, I get sucked in too, I admit it. But for the most part, I simply don't say a word. If they're stupid, it's not my fucking problem. I can recall sitting outside of my school, enjoying a cigarette with one of the Janitors when the asshole makes some racist ass remark. My response? I just looked away from him and took another puff. Why the fuck would I bother reprimanding him? He's not going to become less of a moron just because I get pissed at him. All that'll happen is that we'll get into an argument, waste my fucking time, piss me the fuck off, and in the end accomplish precisely DICK.

You've heard the phrase "Let sleeping dogs lie?" Well, here's my version: Let stupid people stay stupid and fucking drown in their own idiocy. That bitch is beneath you, understand? With a mind like hers, she doesn't deserve to hear the intelligence flow from your mouth. Seriously, you're not Jesus. Lord Galen hasn't sent you to save the sinners (and chronic stupidity is, truly, the worst of all sins). There is no redemption for the stupid - NO FUCKING SAVIOR FOR THEM! Their only salvation lies within themselves. A stupid person can turn it around - that's the beauty of it. All they need is the initiative to question things and learn the truth in things instead of just believing what they're told.

Bottom line: Leave her stupid ass to continue being stupid. Don't even look at her. Unless you plan on fucking her, she isn't worth your time. If you wanna try to help those less intelligent than yourself, become a teacher. Then it'll be your job and you'll have a good reason. Otherwise, there is no reason other than pure entertainment and that's best done right here on this wicked series of tubes (lol) we call TEH INTERNETS.


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