Dear Best,
Your friend is suffering from a common condition known as "OMFG, YOU ONLY WENT OUT WITH HER FOR A WEEK, YOU FUCKING ASS GRABBING PANSY LITTLE CRYBABY BITCH" syndrome. There is only one effective cure for OMFGYOWOWHFAWYFAGPLCB. Sit your friend down and, in a gentle and loving manner, backhand him across the face as hard as you fucking can and tell him to stop being a goddamn embarrassment to the entire male gender.
Your friend obviously has some serious self-esteem issues. He sounds incredibly insecure and needy, like a fucking baby.
"Waaaa, my girlfriend of a whole week left me! My life is over!"
HEY, ASSHOLE! She dated you for a WEEK! She doesn't "love" you and never fucking will. So shut yourself up for a weekend, watch Thelma & Louise, Ghost, Love Story, etc., cry your fucking eyes out and then GET THE HELL OVER IT!
Honestly, I have no useful advice for your friend. I feel nothing but genuine disgust at what a pathetic little pussy he is. He needs to go see that girl, ask her to please give him his balls back, and man the fuck UP!
All My Raw Seething Bitter Hatred,
Lord Galen
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War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
-George Carlin 
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