When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called a Religion.
-Robert M. Pirsig
Lord Galen
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Voting is a RIGHT, stupid!
February 4, 2006


After working with NYRA for about 2 years now, I've heard all sorts of arguments both for and against lowering the voting age. As any reader of this site knows, I'm a proponent of completely abolishing the voting age altogether. For now though, I'll settle for seeing it lowered to 16 (which is NYRA's current goal).

However, I've noted that there's one argument which is not used nearly often enough and it is, in my opinion, the single most powerful and fucking irrefutable argument in favor of lowering the voting age.

In fact... This one argument alone is all it takes to justify (hell, to DEMAND) that the voting age be completely abolished right fucking now!

And what IS this astounding point that could shatter the Earth to its very core? Simple: Voting is a RIGHT!

"Galen, what in the fucking hell are you talking about? Of course voting is a right, we know that already!"

Oh, but do you? Do you REALLY comprehend just what that fucking means, you slack-jawed little simpleton? I DON'T THINK SO!

You see, when it comes to the voting age, so many people seem to be very VERY confused. They're confusing the meanings of the terms "right" and "privilege." The reason I say this is because the ONLY argument against lowering (or abolishing) the voting age is "Young people aren't capable of making a sound judgment." That, you see, is a qualification. And there's the problem: Rights don't have qualifications.

The Declaration of Independence defined what a "right" is quite nicely. "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights...." [emphasis mine]

THAT defines a right indisputably as that which one "earns" by the sheer virtue of their existence as a human being. Even if that didn't, the Supreme Court has long held this to be the very definition of "human rights."

In this country, we hold that one of our "unalienable human rights" is the right to vote. That being the case, this RIGHT cannot be preempted by ANY circumstances! You cannot force people to have to qualify for a Constitutional right! That goes against the very purpose and definition of a right!

So, for the sake of argument, let's accept the majority opinion as truth. Even though I don't agree, I'm willing to accept (for the moment) that teenagers are too stupid and don't have enough life experience to be able to handle voting. Ok, so now that that's been accepted as 100% true.... oh gee, look...

IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER!

That's right assholes! I'm not even going to argue that kids *are* smart enough to vote. I'm not going to argue that you let stupid adults vote, so you should let smart kids vote. Nope. I'm telling you that it doesn't matter if teenagers are the biggest dumbasses to ever grace the planet; you STILL can't deny them the absolute RIGHT that is granted to them upon the moment of their birth! They are, from birth, citizens of the United States and, under the 14th Amendment, entitled to equal status under the law.

But, fuck, even without the 14th Amendment, you still CAN NOT put a qualification on someone having a RIGHT! Again, voting is a RIGHT not a PRIVILEGE!

And now that I've shown quite conclusively that *any* voting age at all is unconstitutional (and therefore ILLEGAL), let's see just how you apply these illegal policies.

Once you're 18, you can vote, no matter what your mental capability is. If a mentally retarded 18yo goes to vote, they let him! That's right, you can be 50 and have a mental age of 5, but they'll still let you vote... Gee, seems like maybe it's NOT really about "mental capacity" and "maturity" after all! No, it's about fucking over the younger generation!

Now, let me be clear that this argument doesn't apply to anything else that the Youth Rights movement fights for. There's plenty of good reasons to lower the drinking age, but being able to drink is not a Constitutional Right; it's a privilege, so using this same argument to justify lowering the drinking age just wouldn't work. Same goes for things like driving. Driving is not a Right, it is a privilege. Therefore, it *can* be taken away. THAT is the difference between a right and a privilege; the latter can be taken away or assigned conditions, the former can NOT. Let me make it clear though that when the government assigns conditions to a privilege unequally, that IS discrimination! Imagine if Bush came on TV tomorrow and said that all blacks were forbidden from driving. No, driving isn't a right and it can be limited or taken away, but NOT UNEQUALLY! Now, if Bush said that driving was now illegal for *everyone* that would suck, but it would be 100% legal because there is no "right to drive." Voting, however, IS a Constitutionally Guarantee RIGHT granted to all American citizens! That being the case, it CAN NOT be restricted or taken away!

In case you're stupid, let's review:

• Voting is a RIGHT, not a privilege!

• RIGHTS cannot be taken away OR have qualifications placed on the exercise thereof! Beyond, of course, those situations where exercising your rights would mean infringing on someone else's. A 16 year old voting DOESN'T infringe on the rights of adults in any way whatsoever!

• Since voting is a right and rights can't be restricted or taken away, setting criteria to define whether or not someone is allowed to vote is ILLEGAL!

What part are you fuckers not getting about this? You CAN'T legally tell someone "You're not allowed to exercise your rights if...." In the 60s, we learned that the "if" there is "if you're black." Before that, we learned that the "if" in that statement is also "if you're a woman." NOW, I'm here to fucking tell you that the "if" is also "if you're under 18." So THIS....

Uncle Sam: You can only vote if

...IS ILLEGAL, you fucking morons!

Now, DON'T try that stupid fucking argument with me EVER again! I just took your uber-retarded teenagers-are-too-dumb-to-vote argument, bent it over my desk, and FUCKED ITS BRAINS OUT! Oh, teenagers aren't mentally capable of voting? Guess what, shithead: TOO BAD! You still can't legally stop them from doing so, so fuck off!

Just in case you missed it: Saying that teenagers aren't mature enough or smart enough or whatever else is NOT an valid reason for denying them the right to vote -- not even if it's TRUE!. Now go sit in the corner and... oh fuck it, just die.



Now all the ageists say:
"O NOOES, GALEN SANKED MAH BATTLESHIP!!!111"



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