Insanity in individuals is something rare; but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs it is the rule.
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Let's Celebrate Mass Genocide!
November 23, 2006

Thanksgiving is that wonderful time of year when everybody all Americans are supposed to give thanks for everything they have. This is a wonderful American tradition and now I'd like to take you all back to just how it all started.

Back in some year of some century that nobody gives a fuck about, these arrogant white people had come to another country and claimed it as their own. Nevermind that there were already people living there; that didn't matter. It didn't matter because, like all the Africans and women, these people were just dumb savages and only the trashy redneck good upstanding white men knew what was best for them. In their great wisdom, these old white guys decided that it was in the best interest of the natives that they should get the fuck off their land and give it to whitey.

Ah, but I'm getting ahead of myself. It's just such an enthralling and heart warming story that I let myself skip ahead. Now, before the white devils pilgrims strongarmed the Indians off their land, there was that famous first winter on American soil. Throughout the long hard winter, those oh-so-superior cracka-ass mother fuckers didn't have SHIT. They didn't know how to do the simplest little thing, so they were forced to eat shit and horses (and horse shit, for a fun combo) in order to survive.

When the winter was over, the Native Americans finally got up off the ground, where they had been rolling around laughing at the pale-faced morons all winter, and said "Look, we can't just let these retards starve to death. All the animal gods will get super pissed at us." So, they gathered up the assload of leftovers that they had and went to visit the raping pillaging sacks of shit poor settlers.

The old white bastards were so fucking hungry, they didn't even give a shit that this food was coming to them via charity from a beastly inferior race. They all sat town together, at the table of brotherhood, and shared a feast.

In the weeks and months that followed, the Indians taught whitey everything he needed to know to survive in America. How to farm the land and hunt the animals and cook the food and all that awesome shit. If it weren't for the Native Americans, whitey wouldn't have lasted very long in America at all.

So, naturally, being so indebted to a petulant inferior race of darkies, whitey made damn certain to repay the debt in the only way he knew how. The white man spent the next couple of centuries giving back to the red man. Yes, indeed, the white man gave a LOT to his Indian neighbors. Whitey gave pain, suffering, anguish, death, and despair. Whitey killed the fathers and sons. Whitey raped the women and, oh yes, even the little girls. Whitey repaid that great debt a hundred fold, by almost completely wiping out the Native American population.

Oh, but don't worry, the story has a happy ending sort of. Eventually, the god damn honkeys wise old white men realized that they were being total dicks and they stopped killing Indians. Instead, they corralled their decimated population into special "reserves" in the same way you would with an endangered animal. And there, the Native Americans are kept to this day. The End.

Now that we've learned the history of how our WONDERFUL holiday came to be, I'd like to propose that we rename it to something more fitting. From now on, it's not "Thanksgiving Day" or even the more coloquial "Turkey Day." No, from now on, I think it should be appropriately titled, "Take-Your-Dark-Neighbor-For-All-He's-Worth-Then-Fuck-Him-Over Day." I know that's a mouthful, how 'bout we just stick with the more easy to remember "Genocide Day." Yeah, that's it.


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