First of all, let me just say that this is not a rant. I know it's in the rant section, but that's because this is my fucking domain and it is the one place where I truly AM GOD, so I'll put it wherever I fucking feel like putting it. Actually, I'm putting it here because the rants get picked up by Google more than anything else on the site and that's kinda the point. Oh and also, this is long and sappy. This is written by the "real me" not by the Lord Galen persona that dominates SnipeMe.com, so if you're not interested in seeing the half-human side of me, then fuck off and don't read this.
This is a long overdue public apology to a sweet and wonderful young lady that I wronged very badly more than 6 years ago. If I hadn't wronged her, I have no doubt that she'd probably be my wife today. So, fate worked out correctly that I should be with the wonderful woman I'm with today, but I'm not happy with how things ended with Ramzi.
Yes, I know Ramzi is a funny name for a girl, but that will work to my favor hopefully. I doubt any other chicks have that name, so if she Googles her own name, there can't be too many results. Hopefully, this page will be the top result sooner or later. I hope so, because I want her to see this.
See, at age 20, I was a lot like I am today. Selfish, egocentric, and an all around asshole. Difference was that I was also a woman-hater. No, I wasn't queer, but I viewed women in a mostly negative light with a few exceptions and plus I had a HUGE fear of committment thing going on.
Anyway. Ramzi and I met when she was a short and fat 12 year old playing on the softball team my mom coached. I was 16 and was forced to go to the ballfield with my mom because my parents were afraid I'd steal cigarettes and smoke if I stayed home. It didn't stop me from smoking, but it did turn out to be a great thing because another 12yo girl that I met at the same time, Misty, later became my best friend and remains so to this day (she's now 24 and a wife and mother). Now, even though Ramzi was kinda awkward and not what you'd usually consider attractive, I thought she was kinda cute but not exactly my type, so I never perved on her or anything (get your minds outta the gutter, motherfuckers).
Ball seasons came and went until one year during sign-ups for the start of a new ball season, the hottest fucking girl I had ever seen in my life walked in. I had no idea who she was, but I sure didn't mind taking a closer look! Then, she opened her mouth and spoke. OMFG, it was Ramzi Hall! First thought into my head was "God DAMN she grew up!" At this time she was 15, going on 16. Before the end of that ball season, I got to know her a lot better and found out that she consisted of a lot more than just good looks. By the end of the season, we were a couple. Me, a 19yo (almost 20) and her a 15yo (almost 16). It was the most age disparate relationship I'd ever been in, but that only added to the fun, I guess.
Let it be known that, besides my marriage, the relationship I had with Ramzi was the absolute best. She was the best girlfriend ever and nobody could've possibly topped her until my wife came along (and my wife is phenomenal).
So that's why, all these years later, I ask myself why the fuck I dumped her. Oh yes, I dumped her. We dated for a almost 2 years. About a month after my 21st birthday, I gave her a send-off from my life. She was one of the sweetest and most wonderful girls I've ever known in my life and I was quite cruel to her. I broke her heart and to this day I am deeply ashamed of myself for it. She always deserved better than me, but nevertheless she was loyal, faithful, kind, and loving. I told her she was fucking obsessed with me and needed to get a life. Maybe she was a little co-dependant, to be truthful, but that was no reason to hurt her like I did.
So down to the point. I'm putting this out there on the great and infinate Internet using her real name hoping that she or one of her friends or something will Google it one day and find this. I want her to read this and I want her to know that-- Hang on...
Ramzi, if you ever happen to read this, I'm so sorry. You were the best thing that had ever happened to me and I was probably the worst thing that ever happened to you. It took me years to realize what a stupid fucking moron I'd been and how I'd mistreated you, but I do realize it and I hope that one day you'll forgive me. Either way, if you've read this, click here to contact me. I'd like to hear from you, even if it's just for you to tell me to go fuck myself and die. That's what you should've said to me back then anyway.
In closing, to all my readers, I don't wanna hear your bullshit about "Lord Galen's getting weak" and "OMG, Lord Galen turned into a whiny pussy in his latest rant!" Fuck you. I will whine and even cry like a baby and still rip your goddamn spine out through your asshole, motherfucker. You people gripe all the fucking time that I don't have a fucking heart, well now you've seen it. Don't ever expect to see it again. I did this because it's just something I needed to do. I was a fucking selfish jerk and treated Ramzi like shit and I fucking DESERVE to have that put on display and be publicly shamed by it. Every man who treats his good-as-gold woman like dirt and breaks her fucking heart on purpose deserves to have it put on public display for him to be humiliated by and I am no exception. So here it is. Fucking enjoy it, you cock-sucking losers.
Update - January 31, 2008: It took a year and a half, but I finally managed to get some results from posting this. I recieved an e-mail today from a girl named Virginia, who was Ramzi's best friend at the time we dated. Unfortunately, Virginia has also lost touch with Ramzi and is trying to find her again. So, to the best of my knowledge, still no ultimate goal achieved, but having her best friend from when we dated contact me is definately a step in the right direction. At least I know this shit worked, in some way.