All great truths begin as blasphemies.
-George Bernard Shaw
Lord Galen
Home  •  Classic Home  •   •  Forum  • 

Archive 2006:           2006 Archive Index           Main Archive Index

"Culture War," MY ASS!
March 30, 2006

First, have a read through THIS bullshit so you know what I'm talking about:

Please allow me to express just how utterly and completely FULL OF SHIT those people are!

A war on Christians? My fucking ass there is! Are there people who hate Christians? Of course there are! But, are there Christians who hate everyone who's NOT Christian? Oh, you bet your unwashed ass there is; and they exist in greater abundance than anybody who'd actually want to see Christianity fall.

I think this is what they call "Projection." They're projecting their own bullshit onto everyone else. Fuck them!

WHO stands in a pulpit every Sunday and declares non-Christian things to be "evil" and calls for Christians to "take back" this country?

WHO says that everything a non-Christian does is influenced by the most supremely evil entity in the universe?

WHO publicy declares war on anything they don't fucking agree with at least once or twice a week?

Here's a HINT:

DING DING DING! Congratulations, you guessed correctly! The correct answer was: Right-wing Conservative Christians! YAY!

I gotta hand it to those people though. Man, have they got some MAJOR fuckin' huge ass balls! I mean, to constantly and publicly wage war on "American culture" and then come right out and whine that America is attacking THEM....? Jesus fucking Christ, that takes some pair of cajones! I mean it, I am seriously fucking impressed at their astounding nerve! Good job, assholes!

I'd like to pick out some things in particular to respond to now.

It featured prominent conservative Christian leaders discussing how they believe they are losing the culture wars on issues such as abortion, gay marriage, liberal judges...

Abortion: The only thing besides the Bible that says it's "murder" is.... well, NOTHING. Sorry, but even if the Bible could be accepted as a 100% legitimate text by historians, scientists and lawmakers (and it's not), we STILL do not base our laws on ONE piece of supporing evidence!

Gay marriage: Again, the only thing saying that it's "unnatural" and a "sin" is the Bible, which is NOT a legally binding document and can never be a legally binding document because of the First Amendment which was put in place by the CHRISTIANS who founded this country! And do you remember why they put freedom of religion as one of our most basic rights? Because they faced REAL religious persecution at the hands of the British government and they didn't want to see OUR government ever go down that path.

Liberal judges: Liberal = evil? Here is a good example of how THEY are the ones attacking the secular way of life, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!!

...and the latest from Hollywood, like the movie "V for Vendetta."

"The message of 'V for Vendetta' is that Christians are plotting to seize the reins of power," said Don Feder of Vision America.

You mean they're not? Yeah, RIGHT! Actually, no they're not, and there's a very good reason: They ALREADY HAVE the reigns of power!!! The only thing holding them back from turning this into a total Theocracy is the fact that this country is run by the people and by it's founding principles (Christian principles) that "...all men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights...." And, indeed, among those are the rights to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness! Tell me, how much fucking life, liberty, and happiness would an Atheist or a Muslim or a Jew be able to pursue in a Christian Theocracy?

They also called the enormously popular Web site poison for its millions of young users. "It's a pornography hole," said Rebecca Hagelin, of the Heritage Foundation.

Poison? Why? Because it doesn't espouse the (supposedly) CHRISTIAN point of view? Once again, YOU motherfuckers are the ones calling anything non-Christian "poison." There aren't too many fucking Athiests sitting around bitching the is "poison" for millions of young Athiest children.

YOU ARE THE ONES ATTACKING EVERYONE ELSE, DICKHEADS!!!!!!!!!! Like I said, that some mighty pair of steel balls....

But Rev. Jim Wallis, a self-described progressive evangelical, said these activists are not focused on what Jesus would care about.

Damn skippy! Jesus sat around with whores and other scum of the earth while he railed against exactly the kind of people who went to this little gathering! These fuckwads don't just make baby Jesus cry, they make him puke and shit himself too. In fact, I can say with a reasonable degree of certainly that if the Son of God is at all capable of pissing himself, he did so when he heard about this stupid fucking bullshit.

Actually, I sent Jesus an IM to ask his opinion on this and he simply responded with "*bangs head against wall*." Yeah, go ahead and laugh, but I'd bet money that people like this make Jesus do that thing where you drop your head, sigh heavily, and pinch the bridge of your nose between your fingers. You know, the "Why do I fucking bother?" manuever.

And seriously, why DID he bother? I mean, if you stupid fuckholes are just gonna make up your own shit anyway, why the fuck did Jesus waste his fucking time coming down here in the first place? Did ya see the Passion? Did ya see all that shit he went through? Why don't you jerks just run over there and give him another crack with the whip?! I mean, you're taking a giant fucking SHIT on everything he stood for, so why not?

Republicans paid lip service to and then ignored their issues, such as the proposed constitutional amendment against gay marriage.

It's kinda like this... Imagine you walk into a fancy restaurant and I'm your waiter. You place your order, then a few minutes later I come out, drop my pants, and take a big shit on your plate. You scream at me, but I just smile politely and say, "I'm sorry sir, but this is exactly what you ordered!" You morons voted for a fucking lying douchebag, so CONGRATULATIONS - Ya got one!

"In America, the greatest leaders aren't the ones in the houses of Congress but in houses of God," DeLay said.

Not while the Bill of Rights exists, ya son of a bitch.

...come this November's mid-term elections, they won't vote at all.

GOOD! Stay the fuck home and quit ruinng my goddamn country! Nobody gives a flying fuck about your vote. Not even God.

See, the real problem with these so-called "Christians" is that they fucking hate anything new and popular. Have you ever noticed that? They don't attack little-known "evil" things or truly evil things that've been around forever. I mean, some do, but not the true loud-mouth fuck-offs like these people. What do they do? "Waaaa... Harry Potter is evil, Spongebob is gay, Tinky Winky and the rest of the Teletubbies are flaming homo-gay fags, the non-Christians are out to get us... I NEED MY DIAPER CHANGED!!!!!"

As a buddy of mine from NYRA commented about this, you assholes just need to learn to deal with the fact that you don't have any fucking right to go through life without being offended! There's nothing in the motherfucking Constitution about giving crybaby conservative pussies everything they want just to shut them up.

Go fuck yourselves. Nobody cares. Keep talking shit about the non-Christians and then having the balls to turn that situation around... Just keep it up. When the war breaks loose, I'mma be on there side for sure and just WATCH me get into Heaven while your sorry ass BURNS!

Jesus fucking hates you. Period!

Archive 2006:           2006 Archive Index           Main Archive Index