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By: Modest Mouse, aka Maxx  |  July 10, 2006

I decided to write this after watching an episode of TRL. So here I go.

MTV sucks ass, it was obvious to us all when they stopped playing music and started playing shitty shows like NEXT and the ever so exiting Room Raiders. I'm going to start by splitting all of the shows and telling you exactly how much they suck monkey balls.

Room Raiders- Basicly, these stupid looking people come in to these people's houses/ apartments and kidnap them, stick them in the back of a van while they have to watch a ditsy blonde or a brainwashed surfer guy to go throiugh their personal belongings after the Room Raiders crew plants porn and nasty sex toys in their room. I hate this show with a passion.

NEXT-These people who cant get dates sit in a big ass bus and get picked one by one to go outside and be humiliated by some overbearing male, or some shit like that. This show is basicly worse than Room Raiders based on the fact that the person in charge of saying the magic words "next" picks them by what they look like...

Pimp My Ride- This is actually one of my favorite shows but im going to be picky today and tell you what i dont like about it. I dont like the fact that they changed garages on the second season. now they have weird people on there, like that weird guy that looks like yu-gi-oh with eyeliner. the only original people on there now are Mad Mike and Xzibit. Mad mike overly pimps out the ride with television sets in the bumpers. As if the drivers of today werent destracted enough with their cell phones and iced mochas from starfucks.

Yo Momma- A bunch of people from L.A. get in circles and talk shit to eachother for 30 minutes. Pretty stupid if you ask me.

Damage control- I hate this show. Some stupid wannabe rocker comes and tricks a teenager into thinking his parents are away for the weekend. The house is rigged up with cameras and the parents watch as some dumb fuck rapper comes in with his people and destroy the place while the teenager watches and cant do shit. All this time the parents make bets on the kid...that is royaly fucked up.

Doogy Fizzle Televizzle- an old show that got cancelled or some shit and MTV is stupid for taking it off the air because this show was halarious.

Date My Mom- An EXTREMELY staged show where a mother and her daughter sit in the back yard and suddenly hear the doorbell ring. Well theres no telling where the father is in this, but whatever. So the mom goes on a date with the guy or girl at the door and telling by what complete bullshit the mother feeds the guy at the door he picks the daughter whose mom is the hottest.

Laguna Beach-This is supposed to be real people and fool the watcher into thinking this is real life, but it is not. This show gets a ten on the dumbass scale.

TRL-Last but not least, the dumbest show on Earth. A bunch of stupid brainwashed teenagers screaming their heads off at the camera like the camera man is going to hear them out of the 200 people there and point the the thing at them...come on people, how stupid can you be? They play all the absolutly shitty songs all the way through, and play all the good songs for like...30 seconds...and in the middle of the song I just happen to like they have a 10 secong shoutout with the stupid ass people with the voice of a dying cow drowning out the song.

so MTV,


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