It sounds to me like you're just being a dumbass optimist. You keep making the classic mistake that chicks make in a BAD relationship: You assume he'll change. Women who get beat and don't leave their man; why the fuck do they do it? Because they think the asshole will fucking change eventually if she just loves him enough and sticks by him. Same thing here.
Look, the guy has already fucking told you in some pretty clear terms just exactly what the deal IS. You hoping that he'll have some epiphany of love isn't going to change the reality. This isn't a Carey Grant movie, hon, it's real life.
And, really, knowing that you love him (if he does know) probably makes him love you just that much LESS. The thing with this situation is that you really can't put any of the blame on him when you get hurt. He's told you and told you and fucking told you already. The dude has been honest with you about his feelings and you've stuck your head in the toilet of denial, letting the shit swirl around you!
Do what's right for yourself, girl! Get what you can out of the relationship if you want, but make sure it's for FUN, not love! You won't get a long-term thing with him, so just fucking forget it. Either have fun and smile when it ends, or you need to take your obsessive ass on outta that relationship NOW.
Oh, but you love him? You figure that even the slightest chance at love and happiness is worth the risk of being hurt? You figure it's ok to be a borderline obsessive moron over a guy who DOESN'T LOVE YOU because at least he's dating you so MAYBE he'll love you one of these days?
You thought wrong. Sorry to be so blunt about it, but love makes people even bigger idiots than they normally are and it takes a few kicks in the gut to break through that. Please, for your own good, tell the guy you want a commitment or nothing at all. He'll vote for nothing at all and THEN you'll know for sure. That's all. The end. Have a nice day. Please drive through.