When you are right you cannot be too radical; when you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative.
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Lord Galen
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Lock of Hair
June 25, 2006

Dear Galen

Couple of weeks ago my best friendís grandmother passed away. We started talking about how we missed both of our grandmothers because mine passed away shortly as well and I felt I could relate. Out of the blue during this conversation he opens up a bible and pulls out a lock of hair. He hands it to me and says that this is all I have left of her. I was like. ďWTF!Ē I called him a sick morbid mother fucker and left. We havenít spoken since.

I am wondering if that was fucked up on my part. I feel like he desecrated a body. I mean thatís like chopping off her wedding finger or something. Itís just sick. Is this customary in some cultures or something to take locks of hair?

Yours truly, Arkam_Asylum

Dear Nuthouse,

Currently, I have a fever, a sore throat, pounding headache, clogged sinuses and dia-- diah.. the shits. So, as you might imagine, it didn't feel too great when I read this letter and laughed my fucking ass off. But I just HAD to crawl out of my Nyquil-induced fog to come and post a reply to you anyway.

You have got to be one of the biggest fucking dumbshits that has ever sent me an e-mail. Seriously. Do you know how many people have a lock of a dead relative's hair in a Bible somewhere? YES, it's customary, you stupid fuck.

It's a lock of HAIR, idiot. No, it's not anything like cutting off her fucking finger, you dumbass. Jeez... Somewhere in all my old shit, I have a lock of hair from my first love. At least, I assume it's still there somewhere. Keeping a lock of hair from someone you love is a sweet sentimental thing, not some morbid excercize.

You can rest assured that your friend just thinks you're the biggest dipshit he's ever met, not that there's anything wrong with him. And he's right. Next time, before you blow up at your mourning friend, why don't you just stop for a minute to consider that maybe YOU'RE the dumbass little ignorant troll.

All My Loathing,
Lord Galen

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