A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
-Nietzsche
Lord Galen
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Trenchcoat
March 10, 2005


The other night, some dude was bitching about my "style." Now, first of all, notice the quotes around that word. Lord Galen does not HAVE a fucking style. The whole concept of "style" and "fashion" is very much anti-Galen. Those things are about conformity to what is popular while I am not. Anyway, back to my point. This dude was saying what quite a few others have said and, really, it's starting to get on my nerves so fucking bad.

Ok, take a look at this picture of me that's on the main page right now:


Now, the dude sees this picture, plus the ones that I posted in the "Trenchcoat Badass Club" thread on the board here... with the combination he comes out with the statement that I should stop trying to be like Neo cuz the Matrix is out of style (or some shit like that).

Now, that wouldn't be so bad, but I get this a LOT both online and in real life! It's time I addressed the matter.

First of all, the sunglasses.... For those who may not be aware, I have a rare visual disorder called Achromatopsia. One of the most severe side effects of this disorder is photophobia (extreme sensitivity to light). I don't wear sunglasses all the time to be "stylish" or to "look cool" you dope... I wear them because I would be fucking BLIND and in PAIN without them! As long as there is any kind of bright light, I cannot be without my shades. I wear them when I work, I wear them when I play, I wear them when I'm at fancy posh gatherings, I wear them at night if I'm in a brightly lit place. I fucking HAVE to! It's not like I have much choice. Every picture on this site is of me wearing shades because in order for the picture to come out good, there has to be enough light and if there's enough light, I have to have the sunglasses on, you friggin' dorkjob!

Now, combine the sunglasses with the fact that I do love my black trenchcoat and whaddya get? Oh, of course, I'm trying to be like the Matrix! Yeah, that must be it! Not a chance in hell that maybe I just fucking think it's a nice coat and it's the nicest coat I own! No, of course not! The very first time someone told me that, it was a 9yo kid and I thought it was cute that they compared me to something in popular culture because that was just the first and maybe the only reference that they had to draw from. However, when so many people have done this, it's a problem.

The problem, bitches and bastards, is the exact same one that leads to people saying "Galen is a Maddox rip-off." The problem is that our society is full of numb-nut idiots who can't fucking think for themselves, so whenever someone comes along who actually DOES think for themselves, you don't know how to fucking handle it and you try to make it fit into your little box. Someone's wearing a trenchcoat, well of course they must like the Matrix because there's not a chance in hell that they actually managed to have an independant thought that wasn't influenced by something on TV! No, there's no chance of that happening - not in your mind anyway, because it's something you've never seen before!

When I first shaved my head, what did I have to put up with? "Who you tryin' to be, Vin Diesel or something?" Why the FUCK do you assume that I'm "trying to be" anything other than myself?! Did it ever occur to any of you fucking illiterate morons that maybe I'm not "trying" to be anything? Maybe - just maybe - this is just ME and the fact that I happen to have a look that coincides with something that some fucking hollywood wardrobe lady thought would be "cool" is just a damn coincidence?

But, NO, that can't be it! I just HAVE to be "trying to be" like someone else! Get this through your thick little heads, you small-minded, dick-head, inferior little shits: I AM ME! I know it's hard to fucking deal with because almost no one knows how to be anything without a movie telling them what to be, but there are still a few of us out there who don't give a flying fuck about what's "popular."

Y'know when I first started thinking trenchcoats were cool and that I wanted one? When I was FIVE! I've liked them personally since I was a little boy, long before the Matrix was ever thought up and guess what asshole, I will continue to like them long after nobody fucking remembers the Matrix. Hey, ya wanna know what I think about the Matrix? Why don't you see if you can crack the mysterious Matrix faggoty little code here:


(*Gasp* - Galen said "faggoty!" He must hate homosexuals. Of course I do.... if by "homosexual" you mean "IDIOT!")

So why DO I wear a trenchcoat if I'm not trying to be like somebody? Uh... maybe cuz I like it? Ever hear of personal taste? Ever hear of someone actually having their own preference? Look, I'm a cold-natured son of a bitch, ok. I fucking STAY cold! My wife bitches at me all the damn time cuz it'll be 75 degrees outside and I have a fucking heater on in here! Hey, here's a novel concept for you: The trenchcoat keeps me WARM! Wow....amazing thing for a coat to do, imagine that.

Do I care what your opinion is? Hell fucking no! But does it get on my damn nerves to hear the exact same slack-jawed idiot opinion over and over and over and over and over and over again? SHIT YEAH IT DOES!

The point is this: Grow a fucking brain. Just because everyone else you know is a dumbass little follower does NOT mean that I am too, you cow-fucking little turd! I expect you to follow ME, not the other way around, dickless! No, your opinion of me does NOT bother me at all. The total idiocy that lead to that opinion, on the other hand, bothers me a LOT!

You wanna think I'm in love with Neo, fine, but do me a huge favor and shut the fuck up about it - ALL OF YOU! I'm genuinely sick of hearing what non-thinking little enema bags you all are.


[UPDATE - 4/14/2005]: I am seriously rolling here... A true intellectual (that's sarcasm, btw) who posts on the NYRA forums under the nick of "William Wallace" gave this stunning rebuttal to the trenchcoat rant:

I don't give a shit what anyone says, the public agrees that black trenchcoat + glasses = matrix. Saying you hate the matrix and wearing a black trenchcoat in this day and age is like wearing an army uniform and then proclaiming that you're anti-war.
Translation: Popular culture thinks it, therefore it must be true. ROFLMAO! Congratulations, Willy, you just changed your species.....


Hahahahaha... You dumbass.....



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