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The Thug Look
February 14, 2005

It's hard to describe, but anyone who's ever pissed off a young black man has seen it. I call it "the thug look." Now, don't get me wrong, it's not just black guys that do it. I've seen boys and girls of all races do it. It's just that black guys are the only ones who can really pull it off well.

First, turn your nose up in the air. Next, poke your bottom lip out as far as you comfortably can. Now, squint your eyes up and look down your nose at whoever's in front of you. Finally, wrinkled your face up like you just smelled something awful (or like you're about to cry). Congratulations, you've just mastered the look that millions of young men and women seem to think is somehow intimidating!

It amazes me.. Whenever I see this look it gives me such mixed feelings. On the one hand, I wanna slap the fucking hell out of the little bastard for giving me such a stupid ass look, but on the other hand, I just want to fall over and die laughing!

Guys, I'm gonna let you in a little secret. Your big bad intimidating look... It's none of those things. You look like you're fighting back the urge to shit in your pants! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Seriously, all my thugy little friends out there, you honestly DO look like a complete fucking retard when you do this.

Yeah, I know what it's supposed to be. It's supposed to be a look of defiance. It's supposed to say "You can't talk to me...I'mma thug...I'm bad ass...it don't matter what you sayin' to me...fuck you." Now, that's what it's supposed to say, but here's what goes through my mind whenever I try to talk to a kid and he gives me that look: "Oh fuck... not that stupid look again... He's not even listening to me cuz he thinks he's a little badass thug... oh well, guess I'll just have to punish him then since he's not listening to reason." And I just give a heavy sigh, tell the kid to go sit down, and write him up for whatever he did.

The whole idea behind the thug look is total bullshit. It usually comes from people who have a real fucking problem with authority. I'm not talking about any of that Youth Rights stuff where the adult is wrong and being unfair to the kid or whatever. I'm talking about when a kid fucks up and then won't even damn listen. You know when the last time I saw that look was? A few nights ago when I stopped a 12yo boy from beating up a 10yo girl. The only thing he said was "Man, she be coming up on me like that." and then he proceeded to give the thug look... what a fucking idiot. He didn't impress me with how tough he was and he damn sure didn't earn himself any brownie points.

This is a damn good example of why young people are ALSO responsible for Youth Rights not working out so well. Ya try to reason with a kid instead of just blithely punishing him and what does he do? He looks at you like he's laying an egg! I've seen kids do this shit more times than I can count and it's just annoying as hell.

But, as I said, at the same time it's fucking aggravating, you also just can't help but laugh at the fact that the little bastards are doing their best to look tough and they wind up looking retarded. So, the next time some smart-ass little punk gives you the thug look, laugh in his face and ask him if he needs his little diaper changed! :)

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