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Smoking Bans
May 10, 2005

I was watching the news this morning and heard that Georgia Governor Sonny Purdue has signed a law enacting a state-wide smoking ban in public places and in bars and restaurants that admit minors. This is yet another dumbass trend in government recently, thanks to the anti-smoking lobby and their ilk.

Oh sure, I can hear all you non-smokers cheering your little hearts out and repeated the party lines, "This will increase public health" and "Good, second hand smoke is bad anyway" and "Fuck the smokers, they're less than human anyway, I'm glad they're finally passing more laws to ban an activity that is no more harmful than driving a car while they do absolutely nothing about the millions of lives damaged and lost due to drugs and alchohol; no, smoking is the real danger to people!"

God, you people are morons. This shit spreads like a cancer and it's thanks to all of you who buy into their bullshit day after day after day.

I guess I need to repeat myself before I continue with this rant:

LIE #1: Smoking is bad for your health
TRUTH: Well, smoking is bad for your health, but it is no more deadly than the exhaust you're exposed to while driving a car (or just breathing if you live in the city) or the UV radiation you're exposed to while in the sun. As long as you continue to drive a car and live in the daytime world, you have NO FUCKING RIGHT to bitch about the health risks of smoking.

LIE #2: Second hand smoke is worse for your health than directly smoking a cigarette.
TRUTH: Y'know what, nevermind... I'm not even gonna correct that one. If you actually believe that being exposed to incidental trace amounts of smoke is really more harmful than sucking a mouthful of smoke deep into your lungs and holding it there, then you're too stupid to understand the truth anyway. You should just stop reading now, you fucking idiot, because apparently the concepts of logic and reasoning don't apply cigarette smoke. That's like saying that standing in the street watching a house burn down is more deadly than being inside the house! If you can't understand that, then fuck you, you don't deserve my explanation.

Here's a little experiment I'd like you all to try. Get 2 friends to help you with this experiment, it'll be fun! Find yourself a garage that has little or no ventilation. Now, sit in there with a smoker for 24 hours. Have your first friend get in a garage also and bring a car into the garage. Now, have your friend start it up and sit in the garage with a running vehicle for 24 hours. Send your last friend to the beach on a beautiful summer day and have him stay there for 24 hours (no tent, no umbrella, no sunblock).

Tell ya what, how 'bout I go ahead and give you the results so that you don't have to waste your time and endanger your health by sitting with the smoker... Your first friend that's sitting in the garage with a running vehicle will be dead in a very short time; in fact, he'll be lucky to make it an hour, much less 24. Your second friend at the beach for 24 hours with no protection from the sun will have skin cancer and/or severe radiation burns and blisters. You, who sat in the garage with a smoker for 24 hours will have a cough and irritated eyes, both of which will clear up a few minutes after you get back into the fresh air (and you will have no permanent damage to your lungs whatsoever). Congratulations, dipshit, you're advocating the banning of a product that's less dangerous than the shit YOU do every single day without even thinking about it.

And for all the folks and NYRA (and other Youth Rights orgs), guess what else this brilliant little smoking ban is gonna do. Many restaurants and bars that previously admitted minors are now considering restricting their patronage to 18+ so they don't have to lose the business of smokers (which make up a considerable portion of their revenue). It's not that the establishments neccesarily support ageism, it's just that this new law has left them with no other choice. Smoking bans help reinforce ageism and even create MORE ageist policies.

Those of you who are still not on my side with this shit, I invite you to try the experiment I suggested above. Please, feel free to be the guy who sits with the running car. Frankly, you'd might as well be dead; that would keep you from passing on the idiot gene to your children.

In closing, I'd like to say something to all the anti-smokers out there. Y'know, I probably would've quit smoking by now if not for you guys. Seriously, I've considered quitting about a dozen times. The problem is that you have to really seriously want to quit in order for it to happen and there's a reason I just can't make myself want to quit. Yes, I'd probably be healthier and live longer, but the fact that you assholes are doing everything you can to BULLY me into quitting is what keeps me from doing it. I fucking REFUSE to give in to you sons of bitches! You assholes spend your days making life harder (and more expensive) for smokers because your stated goal is a smoke-free world by 2015. Well FUCK YOU! I'm not quitting - ever! As long as their are assholes like you trying to FORCE me to quit, it ain't happening! I'll be goddamned if I'll be bullied into doing anything. If I die a decade sooner than I would have otherwise, that's just tough shit. I'm still not gonna quit. You've made it so that tobacco companies are now the only business on the planet that has to apologize for selling their product, but you won't get an apology from me! What I'm doing hurts me and ONLY ME, no one else! I have every right to endanger my own life if I fucking feel like it! Fuck you, you fascist little turds!

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