Why The Fuck is Pot Illegal?
November 24, 2005
This isn't one of those "Legalize Marijuana Now!" things. Nope, this is me wondering just why in the fucking hell is it illegal in the first place? WHY, for that matter, was it ever made illegal?
And what, you may ask, has me asking this question? Don't I watch the news and see all those "Parents: The Anti-Drug" commercials on TV? Surely, I must know: Marijuana KILLS!!!!
Y'know, that's very interesting. Cuz according to my own research into the matter, the number of people who die each year from marijuana overdose is a pretty small number. In fact, there's no number smaller than it, unless you're taking Algebra where they have negative numbers. Yup, the number is 0. That's ZERO, in case you missed it.
I decided that surely recent times must've been really good or something. I mean, something that's SO illegal and SO "evil" (cuz everyone says so, y'know) MUST have killed countless millions! So, I researched some more and I found out that marijuana has taken the lives of more than -5,000,000,000,000 people throughout the course of human history! I hope you didn't miss the little negative ( - ) sign there ( ). Yup, that's right, the total number of people who've been killed by weed throughout all of human history is exactly ZERO.
Well, that certainly explains why my first stop on my search turned up absolutely nothing. See, I figured that the best statistic of all usually come from good 'ol Uncle Sam, so I took a trip over to the DEA's Fact Page on marijuana expecting to find information on the staggering number of deaths that pot use has led to. I was disappointed, and you will be too. In fact, try Googling terms like "marijuana deaths" and "marijuana death toll" to see what you come up with.
Please, don't start e-mailing me with some statistics showing how all these millions of people die each year due to marijuana use. If you read those stats carefully, you'll note that they say something along the lines of "X people die each year from marijuana related causes." In other words, if you're high as a kite and step out in front of a MACK truck to give it a hug, they call that a "marijuana related death."
So why do they mislead you about the facts? I won't say lie, cuz it's not like they actually lie; they just keep strangely silent about it. I'd say the reason is because so many government employees would be out of a fucking job if they told you the truth (the same reason they lie about Income Taxes... but I'll rant on that another day).
So, here I am, bitching my little head off about it. Why the fuck is marijuana illegal? It kills NOBODY and it's been proven to be NON-ADDICTIVE! What the fuck is it doing in the category of "illegal drug?" As much as I defend the use of cigarettes and alchohol, I'm sorry, but it's just a fucking FACT that those two things are INCREDIBLY more dangerous than pot; yet they're legal! WHAT THE FUCK???
Originally, this rant was written on the 19th (5 days ago). I waited to publish it because I'd sent an e-mail to the people behind "The Anti-Drug" and all that bullshit. I asked this point blank why they so strongly condemned the use of a drug that has never killed a singal human being. I got my answer today. They sent me a form letter with the same old bullshit they've been saying along with links to all these pages that make pot sound so evil, yet still fail to mention that it has not killed even one single person EVER and that the American Medical Association ranks caffeine as more dangerous and addictive than pot. So, when asked directly about their bullshit, they respond with more half-truths and misconceptions. Good to know where they stand.
In closing, since some of you want nice tidy facts and figures, I'm reprinting a report that I found on a crappy little GeoShitties site about why pot should be legalized. Enjoy.
High Time to Legalize Marijuana
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