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Pop-up Spam Outside Your Browser
August 4, 2005

It just pisses me the fuck off the way so many people take advantage of the ignorance of others. Really. And this is a good example. Have you ever gotten those annoying fucking pop-up spams that manage to get you even if your browser's not open? They look something like this:

Click this and witness the great annoyance

Now I'm sure you see the problem here. You clicked that and knew something annoying was coming. Other people, not so lucky.

But spammers will be spammers and this was really a very clever idea of theirs. It also opened up the market for fucking crooks to swindle you and that's where my fucking problem comes in. I've seen programs sold for up to $100 to get rid of this pop-up spam. The programs range from that high all the way down to like $5 and even a few freeware apps (at least the freeware authors aren't dicks).

Listen, you poor deluded people. It takes less than a minute to stop the pop-ups and you can do it YOURSELF! I'm about to tell you how.

First, go to the Start Menu > Programs > Administrative Tools > Services. If you don't have Admin Tools on your Start Menu, then you're an idiot.... Go to Start Menu > Settings > Taskbar & Start Menu. Click the "Advanced" tab at the top. In the little text box at the bottom, check "Show Administrative Tools." There ya go, now we can move on.

You should now have the Services box open. Scroll down the list of services and find one named "Messenger" (this is *NOT* MSN Messenger or anything to do with MSN Messenger). Double-click on "Messenger."

Now, you should see 4 buttons near the bottom, like so:

I just bet some moron clicked those.... Anyway, click "Stop" (not the one on this page, you dolt!). Now, right above that, you'll see a drop-down menu, like this:

Startup Type:

Select "Disabled." Now click "Apply" at the bottom, then "Ok" and close the Services window.

You're finished. No more pop-ups invading your space unless you go to sites filled with pop-ups, like an idiot. Now was that so hard? Really? Now that you know what you're doing, I bet you could repeat the steps in under a minute, couldn't you?

If you think that's worth anywhere from $5 to $100, then please send me some fucking money. I'm betting I won't get a damn cent, and rightly so. Selling a program to change a fucking setting on Windows that you can change yourself is such a horrid fucking rip-off! It pisses me off when I think about it, which is why I've posted this here so that you can tell all your friends how to do it for free instead of letting their ignorant asses get suckered. Or, if you have friends who already paid cash for a program to block these pop-ups, you can point them to this rant and then laugh at them eternally for being stupid.

And, really, it IS stupidity. I'm not the only one telling people how to fix this problem. Jeez, the first time I experienced it, it took me like 2 minutes on Google to find the answer. Use a fucking search engine you morons!

But, even though you're morons, I'm still happy to drop the answer in your fucking lap like this. It makes me happy to give this shit away when other people are charging for it like assholes. I always take great pleasure at any opportunity to upstage a greedy fuck.

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