We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-H. L. Mencken
Lord Galen
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High School
(a rant for teens with need-to-know information)

May 15, 2005


First of all, before I start this rant, I'd like to give a hearty congratulations to this year's graduating class. Congrats on surviving the hell hole! And a special congratulations to SnipeMe board member, Crimson_Might, who graduated today! Yay, Crim!!!!

Now on with the rant....

It occurs to me that there's some important shit that teenagers should know about High School. Adults all know a certain little fact about High School, but they almost always choose to lie about it to their kids. I don't know why that is, but there ya go. Parents, teachers, etc. run around telling kids total bullshit like, "What you do here will follow you for the rest of your life" or, even if not stating it directly they make the implication that "if you're a loser now, you'll be a loser for the rest of your life." All this shit they say about High School and "the rest of your life" is completely 100% grade-A BULLSHIT! Here's the truth:

GET A DIPLOMA AND THE REST MEANS NOTHING!!!!

That's right, you poor brainwashed crater-faced little fucks, the Diploma is the only thing that fucking matters. Let me clue you in on adult life and "real world" that High School is supposed to be preparing you for:

That nice high GPA you've got? It means jack shit.

Or, the just-above-C-level GPA of yours? Also, means jack shit.

Graduated valedictorian? Nobody in real life gives a rat's ass.

Last in your class? Your future employers will probably never even know, much less give a fuck.

School bully? So what?

Got your ass kicked everyday for 10 years? Who fucking cares, it's over now.

Coolest guy/girl in the whole damn school, Quarterback/head cheerleader, all the wannabes hanging on your every word? Not anymore, dickhead, you're just a regular joe now. Hope you enjoyed the popularity cuz it's never happening again.

Biggest loser in the school, teased/tormented daily, nobody cared if you lived or died? Assuming you didn't go Columbine on the place like an idiot, you're free now and nobody will ever fucking care what a social outcast you were in High School. I think back now to all the people who were beneath me on the social ladder and I'd actually be happy to see them if I bumped into them again. Really, ppl I was never friends with in High School always greet me with a smile when we see each other in the Mall or something. Social classes disappear after High School and nobody gives a flying fuck anymore. It's called growing the fuck up!

I hope this has been enlightening. As much as I love young people, youth culture, youth rights, etc. I gotta say that young people place WAY too much fucking importance on what happens to them in High School. Not their fault though, it's because all the adults in their lives make school seem like such a huge fucking life-changing deal and, really, it's NOT. You flunked a test? Boo fucking hoo, nobody cares! As long as you graduate and get that damn diploma, that is the *O*N*L*Y* thing that matters in the real world and the only reason that matters is because it gets you into college. College, by the way, actually *does* affect the rest of your life, unlike Bullshit Billy Bo Bob Bumfuck Memorial High School where you lived and suffered for 4 long years.

So, if you've graduated or you know you're going to graduate, relax, ya dumbass! Your grades don't get printed on your diploma, your "permanent record" DOES NOT follow you for life and the difference between graduating with all As or all Cs is precisely NOTHING in the real world!


"I maybe learned 20% more from you that i will use in life than I did in school."
-- SnipeMe member "Crimson_Might" in a conversation with Lord Galen via MSN



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