SnipeMe Is Hereby An Educational Website
October 19, 2005
Yes, you read that title correctly. I'm sick of schools and other fine upstanding instutitions blocking my site! So, from now on, SnipeMe.com is going to be an educational website, starting with this rant.
Now, being a sub, I do know a little something about educating the young. So, let's start with the basics. You can't do shit without your basic ABCs! Personally, I hate how all those fucking alphabet charts have 26 different pictures for every letter of the alphabet to represent the sound each letter makes. You know, like a picture of an apple over "A" and a snake over "S" and so forth. I'm so fucking awesome, I only needed one damn picture to cover the entire alphabet! Ok, kids, ready.....
Start Learning Your ABCs!
Now see, wasn't that a fun way to learn?! I bet you kids'll never fucking forget your alphabet now. Nor will you forget just what a big mean evil poo-poo head George Bush is!
So... What else is key to a basic grasp of educational concepts? OH, I know! C'mon kids, let's count to 10!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Wasn't that fun?! And hey, here's an interesting fact to fill your cute little heads with. Did you know that in the time it took you to count to 10 just now, someone else got a bullet through their head in Iraq? WOW! That's amazing isn't it?
Hey, here's another really awesome fact for you young folks! Yup, you guessed it, another neat thing happened while you were counting to 10! In the time it took you to count to ten just now, at least 1 or 2 people somewhere in this country have contracted HIV! Wow, I bet President Bush could've prevented that if he'd decided to go with REAL sex education instead of just telling you "don't do it" and then lying to you about it?
Oh, what's that? Hang on folks, we have a question from the back of the class. HEY, DON'T SHOUT! Just raise your hand, damnit! Now what's that..........?
Oh, HA HA HA! Little Jenny wanted to tell us all about how her sister died from AIDS because she didn't know anything about Condoms. I bet that's cuz your parents were dumbfucks who never told her anything about sex and Bush's joke of a sex ed program let her down, huh? ...... Yeah, I thought so. See kids, isn't it neat to see how education fits into real life?!
No no no! We don't have time for anymore questions right now! Sorry, but we have to move on to our colors!
Now look at that block kids. That's the color RED. It's the same color as blood, like the blood that's all over the ground in Iraq after it spilled out of the women and children our "brave troops" have been shooting for the last few years. It's also like the blood that will come out of all you little girls' private places one day and scare the holy fucking hell out of you because you won't know what the fuck is going on, cuz nobody ever bothered to tell you! Doesn't that sound like fun? Just you wait!
Ok kids, one more color and then we're out of time for today.
This block is the color YELLOW. If you could ever get our President to take his shirt off, you'd see that his tummy is this color. Yeah, that IS cool, isn't it?! And if you got Mr. Bush to turn around, you'd see that he has a pretty yellow streak running all the way down his back! Isn't that just amazing?!
Well, that's all the time we have today for Mr. Galen's class. You're all dismissed, no homework, and recess for the rest of the day!
Disclaimer: Probably some (most) of the facts and figures used in this rant aren't true. I mean, they could be, but I haven't looked. I wasn't trying to be factual, I'm just being an asshole. If you don't like it, then please feel free to get on your knees as I bend over so that you can suck the dingleberries out of my ass crack and chew on them like gumdrops. Yummy!
Back to the Rant Menu