If you speak the truth, have one foot in the stirrup.
-Turkish proverb
Lord Galen
Home  •  Classic Home  •   •  Forum  • 

Archive 2005:           2005 Archive Index           Main Archive Index

Your Degree Means Precisely Dick
March 19, 2005

Sometimes, I just get fed up with assholes running around with their little degrees acting as if that fucking piece of paper means that they actually know jack shit. Let's see, you went to school for 2-4 years memorizing things out of books and being taught what others want you to learn. Good for you, here's a cookie.

Am I saying that a degree is a bad thing? No, of course not. I'm planning to get a 4yr degree myself. What I'm saying is that a degree doesn't prove that you actually know a damn thing, so stop acting like it does! If you were an idiot before the degree, the chances of 4 years and a piece of paper making you intelligent are very very slim. You'll still be an idiot, only now you're an idiot with a degree; congratulations dumbass!

The only thing your degree is good for is so your employers can justify the fact that they hired you; that's ALL!

The real problem I have is not with degrees, but with some of the people who hold them. I've been told a few times by people who read this site that anything I say is suspect because I'm self-educated instead of having a degree in something. In other words, I don't know what I'm talking about because I didn't sit in a classroom listening to what other people think for 4 years. Jeez, you people are so fucking stupid! Earning a degree has nothing at all to do with your intelligence or skill at a particular thing. It's nothing but learning to accept the opinions of others as fact.

A perfect example is something that I read on another website recently. This man had run his own business online for like 5 years. He was successful and business was booming! Well, eventually this man wanted to expand his business and his knowledge, so he went back to school to get a degree in business administration. He quickly learned that his real-world knowledge and experience of running a successful business had NOTHING to do with getting a degree in business. When he incorporated his business practices into a paper (his highly successful business practices, remember), he got a C. When he simply regurgitated the out-dated and useless information fed to him by the professor, he got an A.

"Higher Education" is nothing of the sort. It's the same kind of education you get in public schools all your life. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit! Hey, you have a degree in business management - good for you, but it doesn't mean you'll be any fucking good at running a business! You got a degree in psychology, that's just fuckin' awesome, but it doesn't mean you'll be any good as a psychologist!

So, assholes, stop throwing your degrees in people's faces like they fucking mean something -- they DON'T! I'm not impressed by the fact that you have the ability to learn what other people already know. You wanna show me that you're a great doctor? Cure cancer, dickhead! Or, hell, just fix something that's wrong with someone; THAT is how you prove your prowess in any particular field - by doing the fucking job, NOT by proudly displaying your bullshit degree! Y'know why I like my doctor? It's not because he went to school for years on end, it's not because he has a shitload of framed paper in his office, it IS because when I visit him he fixes whatever is wrong.

Wanna know what makes a good teacher? It's not a degree! I know far FAR too many people who have a fucking masters degree or even a doctorate in education, but they can't teach SHIT! And then I know people who don't even have a degree and yet they have a way with kids and teaching that is simply inspirational to watch.

I hope all these examples are getting my fucking point across! I'm planning to get a degree in Early Childhood Education so that I can teach. Why am I getting a degree if it's bullshit? That's the only way I'll get hired, because the rest of the world thinks just like you morons; they don't give a damn about skill as long as you've got that pathetic worthless piece of scrap paper! So, I'm gonna go back to school and for four years I'll push all the shit I know about children - from a decade's experience with them - to the back of my mind, regurgitate all the bullshit they want, get my degree, and then forget everything I learned so I can teach like I fucking know how! Sure, I'll probably learn some new and useful stuff in the course of 4 years. Keep what's useful, throw the rest away. Garbage in, garbage out. That's what any halfway intelligent person does (and they ALL do it)!

Time for a math quiz, boys and girls!

[ A ] Experience < Academics
[ B ] Experience = Academics
[ C ] Experience > Academics

If you chose [ A ] then you haven't been paying any attention. You're obviously illiterate and should fuck off now. If you chose [ B ] then you're a complete fucking moron and should also fuck off. If you chose [ C ] then you're smarter than the average human being - congratulations! The correct answer was C, experience is GREATER THAN ( > ) academics, you fuckwad!

If you haven't been a chef, you don't know shit about the culinary arts and your fucking degree from culinary school doesn't mean shit!

If you haven't treated patients, you're not a fucking doctor and your many years in school mean fuck all! Would I want someone with no degree operating on me? If they have a proven record of being better at it than the doctor, then hell fucking yes!

If you haven't spent some time working in the field of psychology or physchiatry, then you're not.... Oh, wait, nevermind. Those are bullshit fields anyway, so you really don't know a damn thing about the human mind with or without a degree - fuck you.

When I have my degree, it'll go into storage somewhere. Don't want to display it, because it won't mean shit. The kids I turn out who know how to do what I've taught them to do, THAT'S my goddamn degree, dumbfuck!

All you degree-carrying, holier-than-thou fuckoffs can eat me!

Back to the Rant Menu  ]