School boards these days take it upon themselves to broaden their mission well beyond education.
-John G. Roberts
Chief Justice, U.S. Supreme Court
Lord Galen
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Opinions are like assholes, but opinions on abortion are like aborted fetuses - little piles of worthless crap
April 12, 2005

I'm just sick of the whole abortion debate, really. I mean, who the fuck are any of you to even think you're qualified to form an opinion on this matter? Let me ask, are you God? Or, if you don't believe in God, then I'd like to hear all about your brilliant discovery of some new medical procedure that tells us the exact moment that human life begins.

Would you kill a new born baby? No. Why not? Because that would be murder. Ok, but would you abort a baby a week before it's due to be born? Obviously not, cuz if it's alive when it's born, it's obviously alive a week before that. What about a month before? Two months? Four? Six? How 'bout all nine? Which of these is acceptable and which isn't? At which point along that nine month path did it go from being "just a grouping of cells" to being an "innocent little baby?" Can you tell me the exact moment? Actually, can you give me even an estimate? Maybe you'd say it's when brain activity is first recorded? Well, bacteria and plants don't have brain activity, but they're still alive. There are millions of single-celled organisms that are as much "alive" as a fully grown human being, so why is it so hard to fathom that a "group of cells" could be alive as well?

Or, perhaps there is some magic moment during gestation when a fetus becomes a true life form. Maybe at some point during the final trimester, some process in the newly formed body turns on the mind's sentience.

While all of these things may be fun to debate (did I say fun? I meant retarded), here is a little fact that everyone just loves to overlook:

That's right, fuckface, there's not a damn one of you on either side of the great abortion debate that knows a damn thing about when human life begins and THAT is the ONLY relevant point in determining whether abortion is right or wrong!

"Oh, but no Galen, it's not the only point, what about a woman's right to choose?" Do we let people choose to murder children? No, we don't. So, whether a fetus is really alive or not is the only factor in determining whether a woman should even be allowed to make that choice.

Oh...oops... did I just imply that there are circumstances under which a woman might not HAVE a "right to choose?" You're damn right I did! A woman's right to choose does NOT supercede another human being's right to live. And there, again, is the salient question: IS an abortion really a case of murder or choice?

The answer: We simply do not know. No human being has that answer and it is unlikely that science will provide it any time soon.

So, since we can't answer the ONLY important question in the abortion debate, here's a radical concept: How 'bout you all shut the fuck up! Wow, amazing concept, eh? I know it's difficult, but try to follow my reasoning here.... See, I have this wacky idea that if you don't know what the fuck you're talking about, you should probably keep your fat fucking mouth closed! And, since nobody on the fucking planet has any way of determining when human life begins, then it seems that NOBODY knows what the fuck they're talking about when it comes to this issue!

"But Galen, we're entitled to our opinion!" Ha! That's bullshit that comes from spoiled American idiots who're have gotten used to the fact that it's PC to pretend that everyone's opinion matters -- Sorry, your's doesn't! No, you are NOT entitled to have an opinion that you can't back up -- and there is NO POSSIBLE WAY to back up ANY opinion on abortion! So, no dickcheese, you are NOT entitled to your opinion! Get the fuck over it!

And, y'know, what about all you great Atheists? I thought you didn't believe in things you couldn't prove, eh? What the fuck happened to that? At least the Christians can justify their opinion by saying "Because the Bible says so" but what the hell have you got? Nothing. Science, thankfully, doesn't even pretend to know when human life begins. So where is your justification for your opinion? You don't have any. Seems to me that Atheists only refuse to believe in the unproven when it suits them.

Ah, but the same goes for you Christians! You believe in God even though you can't prove his existance, but many of you consider UFOs, ghosts, etc. to be "silly." You, likewise, only "have faith" in the unknown when it suits you.

Pro-Choice AND Pro-Life people, you are ALL a bunch of fucking hypocrites who have no business opening your damn mouth on this subject! Let philosophers and scientists deal with the matter of when life begins and shut the hell up about it!

Bottom line: You can't speak on a matter that you know nothing about and when it comes to the question of when human life begins, NOBODY knows a damn thing; so shut your fucking mouth, you ignorant bastards!

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