Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
-Elbert Hubbard
Lord Galen
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Young Friend
Feb. 24, 2005

Dear Galen

I was wondering if you thought it is appropriate for a 15yr old boy to hang out with a 12yr old girl. I'll be 16 in July, she'll be 13 in Dec. Anyway, shes going to be moving soon, and shes someone I've known for 6 years(before she even started kindergarden) and my bestfriend, one of the few people I can stand for more than 5 min.

Okay the problem lies withen the fact that myparents, who haven't said a thing these SIX years, decide that because she's moving soon I and FORBIDDEN from seeing her. I've yet to tell her and she thinks im avoiding her. I want to know what I can do to see her in these last few weeks we have left together, because im forbidden on seeing her. Maybe they think because shes leaving we might TRY somthing or what not. I don't know, all I want to know is how to deal with the situation.

-R***** [name omitted by Galen]

Dear R*****

Sadly, parents have been known for doing idiotic bullshit like this. Nevermind how my child might feel about losing their best friend of six years, no that's not important, let's just keep them from even getting any ideas about having sex. That's all that matters, cuz my kid's feelings are irrelevant and it's ok to devistate them, just so long as they don't go inserting tab A into slot B.... *roll eyes* What a bunch of fucking morons....

It's obvious to me based on what you've said, that your parents are complete uptight douchebags. There is no good reason to keep you apart from your best friend. Her being younger and of the opposite sex is totally not-even-a-motherfucking-issue! I know how you feel. I met my best friend (a girl) when I was 16 and she was 12. Here we are 10 years later living in 2 seperate states with families of our own and we're STILL best friends. Did it ever matter that we were of the opposite sex and 4 years apart in age? Sure, sometimes it did. We had our share of sexual tension, but that didn't matter. We are friends and love each other; we worked out our differences. That's what the fuck best friends DO!!!

My advice to you is to make use of a tried and true tool of teenagedom. Say "fuck this shit" and do whatever you're gonna do behind your parents' backs. Parents who are unwilling to listen and take your feelings into consideration are NOT respecting you and are not deserving of your obedience.

Also, I strongly suggest that you avoid anything sexual with your friend. I don't know if the thought has even crossed your mind, but just in case it does, let the thought cross and go on its way. Not only would there be legal issues with being involved with a girl of 12, there's also the fact that if the two of you do anything sexual, you'd might as well just hold up a big neon sign that reads "Hey, mom and dad, you were right! I'm an irresponsible bag of hormones that can't keep it in his pants!" That's exactly how they would see it and nothing on this planet would ever change their mind. By avoiding sexual contact with your friend, you maintain the moral high-ground over your parents. Every sex-free second you spend with her is a great big "HA!" to your parents.

So, to sum it all up: Your parents are uncaring pricks, so just hang out with your friend regardless of what they say or do. They catch you and punish you, too fuckin' bad, keep seeing her anyway. They punish you worse, too bad, keep seeing her. You have the moral high-ground in this situation and that is the only "authority" that matters.

Hope that helps and I'm sorry to hear that your best friend is moving away. Try to enjoy the time you have left together and don't let any idiots rob you of that.

Peace biatch,

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