No one is more truly helpless, more completely a victim, than he who can neither choose nor change nor escape his protectors.
-John Holt
Lord Galen
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No, I won't like your movie, so shut the fuck up!

Damnit, why won't you people just shut the hell up about your favorite fucking movie or TV show or CD or whatever? C'mon, you all know what I'm talking about. Everybody has at least 5 or 6 friends just like this. Check this out:

Friend: - Hey, Galen, have you been to see the Princess Diaries 2 yet?
Galen: - No. Why the hell would I wanna see that?
Friend: - Oh, man, it is the most awesome fuckin' movie, you have GOT to go see it!
Galen: - Nah... I saw the previews and it just doesn't look like my kinda movie, man.
Friend: - But, I'm telling you, you would LOVE it!
Galen: - No, really, I wouldn't like it at all. I usually don't like those kinds of movies.
Friend: - Oh, but this one's different! It's not like you think?
Galen: - Dude, seriously, the movie looks like shit to me; you couldn't pay me to go see it.
Friend: - Well that sucks. You haven't even seen it and you're being so judgemental about it. I didn't think you were so closed-minded.
Galen: - *BANG* ... You shoulda shut the fuck up, asshole!

Now, I KNOW you recognize this conversation. You have it all the time, don't you? I think we've all had just about enough of this particular type of annoying asswipe, so here's a copy of the memo that they apparently didn't get:

TO: Annoying wanna-be movie critics
FROM: The World
SUBJECT: Movies/TV/CDs/etc.



Look, get this through your thick little heads; Nobody fucking cares what YOU thought was a good movie! Got it? People are different and people like different things. Just because you thought the special directors cut of "I'm a stupid gaywad" was the coolest thing you've ever seen doesn't mean that anyone else will! Hell, I fuckin' LOVED "Water World" and most people hate it; do you see me over here trying to convince people of how much that movie totally rocked? No! Why? Because I'm not such a fucking insecure loser that I have to try to force people to like the same things I like in order to have something in common with people. Fuck that.

Oh, and a special note here. The person who inspired this rant is on MSN with me right now trying to talk me into watching "Good Will Hunting" (*cough* piece of shit *cough*). He specifically asked that I not mention his name in this rant. Since he made that request, I'm not going to mention his name specifically. Instead, let's play Wheel Of Fortune...

C R _ M S O N     M _ G H T

Uh... I like to buy an "I" please. DING DING DING! Looks like 'ol CR shoulda paid attention to that memo!

Anyway, back to the topic at hand....

Look, you stupid dicks, people have their own fucking tastes and given the wide range of human preferances plus the wide range of choices for entertainment, the odds are pretty fucking good that at some point someone somewhere is not going to like the same fucking movie as you. So, shut up already, the odds are stacked against you, asshole!