When you are right you cannot be too radical; when you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative.
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Lord Galen
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The Moon Landing

Ok, so there are people out there who seem to think that the Apollo moon landings were fake. Nobody ever really went to the moon; it was all filmed on a sound stage somewhere and the American people have been lied to.

First off, don't get me wrong, that's a nice little theory there. It certainly would not be uncharacteristic of the United States government and its media outlets to lie to the American people on such a massive scale. And as much as I'd like to jump right on the bandwagon and start bitching about how they've lied to us all for 30+ years, it just isn't so.

Now don't start bitching at me and sending your retarded e-mails containing all this glorious "proof" that the moon landings were faked. I've seen all the evidence and even though a lot of it is pretty convincing, it just doesn't hold water when it comes right down to it and I'll tell you why.

If you're going to defend this ludicrous little theory, you'll have to answer one simple question for me? Was the entire modern world in on this conspiracy? Don't bother answering. Look, you fuckin' whack-jobs, I'm only gonna say this once. Every first-world country on the planet tracked Apollo 11 all the way to the moon! Ya got that, moron!

Millions watched the astronauts get into the rocket (this is counting not only those that were present, but those watching on television as well). Millions watched them launch. And then, after that, a few thousand people from various countries tracked that very spacecraft via radar all the way to the moon!

In order to fake the moon landing, it would've taken the cooperation of every nation that was technologically advanced enough to track Apollo 11. Even if I did somehow believe that China, Japan, England, Australia, et al were in on this massive conspiracy, what about Russia? We beat their asses to the moon; don't you think that if they had proof that we faked the landing, they'd have told the world? Hello, IDIOT!

Ok, let me hit some of the great "intelectual" points of this theory now.

How was there a camera outside to tape Neil Armstrong taking his first step onto the moon? I honestly can't fuckin' believe that there are people DUMB enough to even have to ask this question. You fucking moron, here's a link for you: Television on the Moon. Genius, did it never occur to you that filming the first steps on the moon just might be a high priority and that NASA just might think about it in advance? Oh sure, they can build a state-of-the-art spacecraft, but no way in hell they'd figure out a way to tape the first steps onto the moon, right?! DUMB-ASS!

There was a camera man in the reflection of an astronaut's helmet? What, you mean like this:

C'mon... Just take a look at that picture. Do I really even need to say anything? Moon Hoax nuts wave this picture around like it's some type of definative proof or something. What the fuck am I supposed to be looking at here? I see evidence that 3 people are present and one of them has a camera and happens to cast a shadow too. Oooooh, ahhhh... Amazing. There WERE, in fact, 3 people present on the Apollo 11 mission and they carried quite a few cameras to the moon with them. Can't imagine why they'd want to take pictures of the first moon landing..... Dumbasses...

I just LOVE some of the other pics that supposedly "prove" something. Like, the ones that show a stop sign and traffic light on the moon. Ok, if it was all done on a sound stage, WHY the fuck would there be traffic props on the set? Oh, and that gas pump.....puh-lease.

My all time favorite though, has GOT to be the picture of the two astronauts riding around in the rover with no helmets on. Hoax nuts love to claim this as "proof" too. Take a look:

I guess the fact that they're on EARTH doesn't really matter though, eh? Could it be possible that the rover was actually - dare I say it - test driven before they sent it all the way to the moon?!

The real problem I see with all this "fake moon landing" bullshit is that some people just aren't happy unless they're taking a great thing and tearing it down. You fucking moon hippies just can't stand that something was actually accomplished that was good and had no sinister plot behind it, so you have to either make one up or look so hard at it that you find what you want to find. Any shrink can tell ya, that's bound to happen. For example, if I convince myself (and honestly believe) that my dick is 10 feet long, I'll start to see that sooner or later, even though it's actually only 5 feet long (Mwahahahahaha!).

Really, though, I love you moony loonies. You give me such an easy target to fire at. Just stop being stupid, ok?

Related Link

    "Moon Truth" at snopes.com