No one is more truly helpless, more completely a victim, than he who can neither choose nor change nor escape his protectors.
-John Holt
Lord Galen
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Firefox SUCKS!

I am so fucking sick and damn tired of hearing about how great the Mozilla Firefox browser is! Jesus Jumped Up Christ, how stupid are you people?!

Firefox is a piece of shit, alright. It blows big time and it's no wonder, because it hasn't even reached version 1 in its development yet! There's no WAY that it could NOT have an assload of bugs in it, yet everybody still keep going on and on and on about how great it is.

What a bunch of dumbasses. You're all so fucking desperate to get rid of the "evil" Internet Explorer, that you just jump on the first decent looking browser that comes along and start humping its leg! All this "Help Spread Firefox" bullshit has a lot more to do with hating Microsoft than with liking Firefox. That's a pretty fucking STUPID reason to use a shitty ass browser... just because you don't like the "big guy" Jeez...

I get it, ok. We ALL fucking get it! You're a big bad non-conformist. You're not gonna conform by using the mass-produced big-name web browser that 90% of the Internet uses. Oh no, Microsoft is the big "evil empire" so you don't wanna be a fucking sell-out by using their shit, no way....

That's right, non-conformist... you just sit there and keep running your badass Firefox on your nice shiny Windows XP system and keep talking shit about Microsoft, you fucking moron!

"Galen... Firefox is great... maybe you're just stupid and don't know how to use it...." Oh yeah? Ok, let's see, I've got my Firefox browser open right now.... Let's go install a nice extension.... Hey, here's one to give me more control over the text zoom. So, I'll just click "Install" ... Awww, NOTHING HAPPENED! Guess maybe there's a problem with that one... let's try all the other ones... Oh look, again, NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED! I guess maybe Firefox is just a piece of shit that doesn't work!

Why don't we try installing a theme instead... I could use a nice new theme for my Firefox... Well, here I am on their themes installing page. So, I've got a local file here to install the theme I want... I'll just browse to that... Ok, now just click "Install" ... Well, I'll be damned, would you look at that? Not a damn thing happened... Gee, I wonder why. Ok, ok, I'm being too harsh. There's another option here, after all. I can put in the url to a file anywhere online and install it THAT way. How convenient, so I'll just put the URL in this little box here.... Well, that's disappointing! It appears that, again, nothing happened!

So, I can't add extensions and I can't add themes. Looks like I've got a shittier version of IE. Yay, just what I always wanted... *rolls eyes*

Look, you fuckin' groupie dickheads, if you don't like Internet Explorer, there's lots of other browsers to choose from! Netscape is good. Opera is pretty awesome too. How about you get one of those non-MS browsers that actually DOESN'T suck!

Firefox will be nice one day, but for right now it's just a big blob of cow shit in the middle of the "Information Super Highway" that gets stuck to my tires when I drive through it.

Firefox blows. Stop trying to shove your lame ass browser cult bullshit down my throat you idiots.