Hello, my name is Galen and I'm an American. Sitting here tonight thinking of the state of things here in my homeland, I felt the sudden urge to write this letter to you, the non-American world.
I'd like to start off by apologizing for the bad behavior of my government. Many of us citizens try our best to keep it under control, but sometimes it just has these fits and decides to throw a great big fucking tantrum. Usually, it's best to just let the U.S. Government kick and scream about whatever has pissed it off until it tires out, takes it thumb, and settles down for a much-needed nap. These tantrums usually occur when it's been told "no" - you see, our government very much resents being told "no" by others, especially its citizens or other governments that it doesn't play well with in the first place.
In recent years, however, our little Sammy (who likes to call himself "Uncle" Sam sometimes - isn't that cute!) has been having these fits more and more. Like any unruly country, Sammy is justifying his hissy fits with whatever silly reasons he finds at hand. The problem lately has been two very disturbing things. First of all, our government has had some very bad influences in his life lately (I'm sure you've heard of the delinquints, Bush and Ashcroft) and they've been leading Sam terribly astray. Secondly, and most disturbingly, many of Sammy's caregivers (we, the people) seem to've taken a very blasé attitude towards the recent behavior of our government. They either seem to be unwilling to correct Sam's behavior or they are afraid to.
Ok, seriously... While comparing the United States government to a misbehaving two-year-old is entertaining (and accurate), the fact is that our government is far more dangerous than a squalling toddler.
World, I would just like you to know that there ARE Americans who do NOT support the actions that have been taken by George Bush in recent years. There are, in fact, many of us who outright despise the man for what he's done and the ways in which he's tarnished the ideals that America is supposed to stand for. Under the guise of "fighting terrorism" the United States has become a terrorist organization itself. Many Americans DO recognize this fact and we find it deplorable.
The United States of America is nothing more than a big bully under the leadership of the current administration. Hopefully, enough of us realize this that the current government will be gone soon.
I thank you for your time and patience. Please understand that it is our government that sucks major ass here, not the people (well, some of the people do too...). We are stuck here with a leader we did NOT elect (he's only in office because of his family connection) and fighting a war we do NOT want to fight.
In November, it is my hope that We, The People Of The United States Of America, will take that spoiled rotten little bastard that is our government and turn him over our collective knee to get the sound thrashing that he deserves!