Take the risk of thinking for yourself. Much more happiness, truth, beauty, and wisdom will come to you that way.
-Christopher Hitchens
Lord Galen
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So So Sad

Dear Galen

I was recently visited by a field rep from the school where I received my dog guide from. In this meeting I was asked to retire my dog due to medical problems he is having. This is a very hard thing to do because he is my second dog in less than three years. The dog is a great help to me and also a great friend. I know in my heart and mind that it is the best thing for him not to work any more, but it is still hard. Is there and advice you can give me to make this a little easer?

-Heart Broken

Dear Cry Baby

Oh, suck it up, ya big pussy! He's retiring, not dying. You sound like he's being sent straight to the Chinese Restaurant to be put in some Chicken Choi Mein (and, no, that's not chicken). And I know I spelled that wrong; chinese food fucking sucks, so I really don't care.

Anyway, let the dog go to his little doggy retirement village where the nurses will yell at him every time he shits himself and lock him in his room all day when they don't feel like seeing him. It's better that way, ya big blubbering asswipe!