Eight Mine Fortress - So close to being cool, it's scary. Lord Galen
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Poor Servant Girl



Dear Galen


I am 10 years old. My brother has started being a real asshole lately. He makes me and my sister and little brother clean up the kitchen every single day!

That's not the really bad part though. He says that we eat too much, so whenever there's food in the house he HIDES IT FROM US! He keeps all the food in his room so when we want something to eat we have to ask him for it!

What can I do to make him stop being a jerk? I hate him so much right now.

-Poor Servant Girl



Dear Spoiled Little Brat

It sounds to me like your brother is maybe the first person bothering to take the time to teach you some important things about life. You're 10 years old and don't bother to clean up after yourself? Excuse me, but what the fuck??? You're plenty old enough to know how to wash a damn dish after you use it! If it really bothers you so much that you have to do it every day, why not try talking to your brother and reaching a compromise? If he cares so much about the house being clean, I'm sure he wouldn't mind taking turns with you and your other siblings to clean the kitchen. Of course, that will only work if you both hold up your end of the deal. You can't skip out on your days to clean.

However, it's also possible that your brother is just being a dumbass Nazi controlling bastard and taking advantage of you and your siblings because you're younger and he can easily push you around. In which case, you should all gang up and beat the shit out of him in his sleep! Yeah, he'll be pissed, but if he retaliates, just do it again the next night. A few cracked ribs and a bruised spine later, he'll come around....

But, remember, if he's willing to be reasonable about it, then don't be a spoiled little bitch like you seem to be. Reason with him. Try that first. If he'll take turns at cleaning up, then fine. Otherwise, he's being an asshole and deserves to get beat down.

Now the shit with the food... It's hard to say without knowing how much you truly eat. I mean, if you're a big fatass at age 10, then yeah, he needs to hide the food from you for a little while. Or, if your family is not exactly rolling in the money and you just keep eating and eating and eating and eating like a selfish little pratt... Yeah, gotta hide shit from you then too.

On the other hand, your brother could just be an asshole (again, I don't know because you didn't give me enough information and I don't have his side of it). You could always steal food if he's being a dick though. I suggest talking to him about the food issue. If you're cleaning the house, doing chores, and shit like that then you're contributing to the household and he has NO FUCKING RIGHT to keep food from you, no matter what he thinks is best!

And I gotta ask: Where the fuck are your parents in all of this? Do they not have their own rules about household chores and food and things like that? Why the hell is your brother doing all this? If it's like I suspect, your parents probably aren't doing jack shit and your brother is trying to take on all the responsibility for you guys himself. It's not right that he should have to do that and it's not easy for him. Maybe you should ALL go to your parents and tell them to start fucking parenting!

That's the best I can do for right now, my dear. Just based on what little information you gave, you sound like a spoiled little bitch and your brother sounds like a royal dickhole (who's forced to be such a dickhole because your parents are slack asses).

That's my opinion - fuck yours.


All The Best,
Galen