I have started seeing this women she is a few years older than me. I like her and she likes me this is not the problem though, she has two kids that are 9 and 10. I do not care much for kids, but like their mom a lot. I have told her that I do not want to meet the kids till we are sure we have something special because I do not want them to get attached to me and then me be gone because we break up. This has happened to them too many times before and I do not want to contribute to their pain.
I told her this, but she wants their approval before we go on. What do I do? Do I compromise my morals or do I put me foot down? She knows why I do not want to meet them, but she says they weed out all the slackers in her life, please help.
Dear Kid Trouble
There's an easy way out of this. Just tell her that you're dying to meet her kids cuz you hope that the four of you can get into one big orgy. That should sufficiently discourage her from wanting to introduce you to her children -- EVER!
Ok, ok, here's some REAL advice...
Honor her wishes and meet the kids. I've got a quote on this site somewhere about how kids have built-in bullshit detectors. This is true and, as a mother, your girl knows this. Her kids will indeed weed out the losers in her life. Maybe you're just afraid they'll detect what a big dumbass you are and give you the thumbs down (or the middle-finger up)?
If you've got nothing to fear from their judgement, then you should meet them. If, on the other hand, you're pretty confident that a couple of nature's bullshit detectors are gonna start sounding alarms when you walk through the door...... In that case, might I suggest that you re-consider the first paragraph of this letter (lol)?
As for your stated concerns about meeting them and not wanting to add to their burden... Well, it's up to them whether or not they become attached to you, but the chances are that they aren't going to love you right away just for the simple fact that you're dating their mother. I can tell ya pal, that 9 and 10 year olds are pretty clued up on how shit works and they probably have ALSO considered the same thing you're worried about and will therefore likely keep their emotional distance from you unless it looks like you're gonna become a permanent part of their lives (and even then, it could take years).
The way to a man's heart is through the stomach, right? Well, the way to a woman's heart is through her children. Consider that if you're looking for a life-long relationship with this woman. You make them fall in love with you and she will quickly follow. Let me be clear on this: I'm not saying that you should USE the kids to get in mommy's pants! If that's all you're after, then don't you dare involve those kids in your pussy-scheming. If, however, you want a real relationship, then get in good with the kids.
Giving you the thumbs down,