If I'm wrong, tell me I'm wrong. Don't talk to me about protocol.
-Dr. Gregory House
Lord Galen
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Lonely and Depressed

Dear Galen

As I sit here at this p.c at 5:30 in the morning I can not but help think of how fucked my life is. See I am a middle 20's man that is single and lives alone. I have little friends and no life other than work. I try to make friends, but I am always shunned away. I would do anything to have friends who care for me. I even do things like help clean there house just so they will like me, but it is hopeless. What should I do?

-Lonely and Depressed

Dear Lonely and Depressed

Ok, dead serious with this advice here. No, really, I shit you not.

Dude, get the fuck over it. I can tell by your letter that you're a sad pathetic introvert. And, uh, you wonder why you have no friends and no one wants to be your friend? Hello, duh!

You are a classic example of a self-fullfilling prophecy. You slug around thinking and feeling like "I have no friends, nobody likes me, nobody wants to be my friend, etc, etc" so, naturally, it comes true! YOU are your own problem.

If you'd just get the fuck over it and call an end to your eternal pity party, you might just start making friends, dumbass! Nobody likes to hang around a sad-ass who feels sorry for himself all the time.

Bottom line: When you like yourself, other people will like you too. I know that's some seriously fuckin' corny advice, but it's true.