Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
-H. L. Mencken
Lord Galen
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Dear Galen

I am an Atheist and I have always been an Atheist. Now, I'm in love for the first time and my girlfriend is a Christian. This is getting to be a really big problem between us. What do I do? I don't want to just dismiss her beliefs, but she's always hounding me about it!


Dear Godless

This is an age-old problem and people seem to wrestle with it a lot. Lucky for you, I have an answer (as always).

You say that you don't want to "just dismiss her beliefs" right? Well, what the fuck do you think SHE'S doing? She doesn't take your (lack of) faith seriously! She thinks you're deluded or something and need to be saved! Well, I happen to agree with her, but here's the catch to that: No one can "save" you, but yourself! She can't do it, your local pastor can't do it, even Christ himself can't do it unless YOU want it done! So, remind your sweet litty harpy that no matter how much she badgers the ever-loving-shit out of you, it won't make one damn bit of difference!

Also, I strongly suggest that you show her how it feels. Being an Atheist, I'm sure you can dis on her religion pretty easily. Do it, and when she gets pissed, point out to her that THAT'S how you feel every damn time she opens her mouth about religion.